Problems with my partner.

[Whisperea]

Hi, uhm this is hard to explain but I'll try. I've been with my partner for over 3 years now, I am female and he is male. I'm only 21 and have disability and mental illness but he's more or less 'normal'. The first year and a half of our relationship was brilliant, he treated me like a queen, I was so happy. But in the past year and a half I feel like he has changed. He is always yelling at me even for the smallest things, calling me absolutely horrible names, getting extremely angry when I don't do what he wants. I'm a bit of a video gamer and like to stay up at night sometimes, he will come in every 5 minutes, shout at me, slam doors, punch stuff and tell me to come to bed. I've been pretty sick with mental illness lately, so not much has got done around the house. He keeps telling me that I'm lazy for not doing anything and yelling at me. He always tries to guilt me into having sex with him too, even if I feel awful and if I don't he'll yell, scream and sulk. Nothing I ever do is good enough for him.

 

Not long ago when I used his phone to search something on the internet, I found out he'd been talking to a girl overseas. He'd sent her pictures of him naked and she'd sent some back and they said a few disturbing things. He also called me terrible names to her and told lies about me. I confronted him and he screamed at me for going through his phone, when I was just trying to search the internet. He promised to stop talking to her, but a month later, I saw a notification pop up on his phone screen while it was laying on his desk. It was from the woman. Of course I confronted him again and he said he'd stop. He hasn't talked to her since, I know because I did the horrible misdeed of actually looking through his phone of purpose.

 

I went to stay with my grandmother for the weekend to help her and he promised to come straight after work, but instead he went out drinking with his friends and missed the last train home. He ended up wandering around until the morning train. Then he told me he'd sleep for like 3 hours then get up and come to my grandmother's, instead he watched movies and youtube and had a nap. He finally got his butt down at 9pm on saturday night. I was pretty furious, we ended up missing another friends party because of it. He does stuff like this all the time.

 

I'm not going to pretend that i'm perfect, I can be mean to him and not do things I say I'm gonna do. But not all the time. I've never treated him the same way he treats me. I don't know if I should leave, we bought a house together and have two cats. I have no friends who aren't his friends and the only family I have is my grandmother. I don't know what to do anymore, I spend hours crying every day.

[lucky96]

yeah I would have been done after the pictures. That is not trust, love, or a relationship. no one deserves that!

[Wiseman2]

You need to develop an exit strategy/plan to move out. He is being mentally abusive. Move in with a caring relative, anybody. But get out of there asap.

He is always yelling at me.he will come in every 5 minutes, shout at me, slam doors, punch stuff. He keeps telling me that I'm lazy. He always tries to guilt me into having sex with him too family I have is my grandmother.

[WithLove]

He's a step away from being physically abusive to you. He already punches other things. He's pretty controlling and manipulative, trying to make you feel bad for not doing what he wants.

 

That being said, you've admitted that you don't treat him well, either. So I'd get out of there as soon as you can. Ask your grandmother if you can move in. He is not good for you in any way. Then you can focus on improving your mental health and being a good person FOR YOU.