We are still good friends but why do I keep feeling these negative emotions?

[glutenfilled]

We were friends before we started dating (me and P) though I've always liked him. Our relationship however lasted for only a month for various reasons. However, we did not grow apart. We re classmates and decided to remain friends- because that is very important to both of us. I think.

 

Now, I get jealous seeing him with the person I absolutely don t get along with (this person was sort of the reason why we broke up). It's not like he neglects me. He tries to balance and not hurt either of us.

 

I know I m being irrational. I know being jealous. I'm trying to keep my mind off it by working on other things. We are fine but I keep feeling bad from time to time. I just pray for our friendship to remain strong. Am I bargaining?

 

How do I stop.. I've given myself enough time to grief but it doesn't go away. Is the attempt of staying friends (good ones) wrong?

[Snny]

Now, I get jealous seeing him with the person I absolutely don t get along with (this person was sort of the reason why we broke up).

Can you explain what you mean here? How did this person split you two apart?

[Wiseman2]

Are either of you dating him currently or is he just friends with both of you? If you have residual romantic feelings you may want to back-off the friends stuff more.

He tries to balance and not hurt either of us. Is the attempt of staying friends (good ones) wrong?

[glutenfilled]

Can you explain what you mean here? How did this person split you two apart?

 

Well.. The third person once told me he liked him as well. It's just that the third person would be very hostile towards to me, say bad things about everyone including my partner and myself. But in front of my partner, he would be picture perfect. The fun type you can hang around with.

 

Eventually, I started getting affected and being negative, borderline a y girl- causing us to break up. There were times when my partner left me to be with his 'friend'. I tried talking to him because I know, communication is important but then, it never happened.

 

We're still friends, we talk but then I keep having this teenage-ish angst when I see them together... Causing me to move away from him and also hurting myself in the proces

[glutenfilled]

Are either of you dating him currently or is he just friends with both of you? If you have residual romantic feelings you may want to back-off the friends stuff more.

 

He is friends with both of us

[No1]

You said that it was important for you to remain friends... then you said I think. Whos idea was it to remain friends? Im going to say that is was his.

Im going to tell you what I think..

You are not his friend. If you get jealous about him seeing another girl that is not a friend, thats an X girlfriend. You still have romantic emotional vines attached to him. You can be attracted to your friend, but you cant have emotional vines attached to them and still be friends. As you are now, this cycle will not change for a long time. As long as you are in X GF mode this jealousy will not go away.

For the sake of the friendship you have to let the emotional attachments fade away before you can truly be his friend.