Thinking of making a big move to save relationship

[Sn0man]

Hey all.

 

Heres the skinny of it. My gf (ex, kinda) moved about 600 miles away a little over a month ago. I didn't do enough to make her stay here, not that she would have anyways, because she isn't from here and kinda needed to go home. After she left, it all really hit home; how much I loved her, missed her, and needed her in my life. We never made any plans to stay together after she moved, we just kinda parted. Which left me really sad and confused, to say the least. So I went on sending her the "drunk emails" and almost lost her cause she got really mad at me for some of the things I said, but after a few days we were back to talking and being 'friendly' with eachother.

 

Now, I haven't discussed this with her yet, but i'm planning a trip up to where she is to visit her, and talk about the possibility of me moving there to be with her.

 

The problem is, im in college, im nearly done, but need a couple more courses to finish what i've been working towards. I don't know what moving to another province will do to my educational goals, though I'm sure I could figure it out in time. and I don't worry too much about time either; I worked for 7 years after high-school before I even went to college, so I know I can pick up where I left off given the right circumstances. But i'm really worried about this. My family is all here, where I am, hers is all there. I don't know anyone ther, she does. And from the souns of it, she's having one hell of a time back home.

 

Anyone been in this situation before? I'd love to hear what you all have to say about this situation, it would really help me figure things out. Maybe give me some deeper perspectives on it. Thanks for listening.

[peanut15]

I've never been in your situation but have known many people that have been. To get down to what you are wanting to hear or know...they all moved back home w/in the first year.

 

Leaving someplace for someone else is a big step especially if there is NO ONE there for you. You have made it so far to finish your degree and even though you said that you'll figure it out, that is a big risk on your part. I mean, is she really the one you want to leave everythig behind?

[ang3l2004]

Aww I think that is really sweet that you would like to move there to be with her and I think that if it's what you want to do and you will be able to do it with school and not knowing anyone go for it! But does she know that you want to do this?What does she think about the idea?That is just so romantic..Are you moving back there to be with her again and if so why did u breakup in the first place?I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do but make sure whatever you do will make you happy and you are not just doing it for her! Keep me posted!

[Sn0man]

Thanks for the replies. She doesn't know that I'm considrering this: I dont think she believes I would do it because that is a HUGE step for me. I don't like change at all, but being the fact that I have lived where she is now long ago, and I (at least) know of someone who would give me a job on the spot should I go there, though it wouldn't be in the feild that I am in college for, it would be a start. I would be giving up alot for this relationship; i mean, my education would be put on the back burner for at least a year...but the truth is, I love her.

 

I guess I will just have to see what happens in the next short while. I'm locked into a year lease where I am, but at least I know the guy who I signed the lease with and would be able to get out of it. So I guess what i'm saying is that i'm ready to make sacrifices for this girl, but I have to first find out her position on this issue, as, like I said before, we made no committment to stay together after she left; we just kind of went our separate ways. I don't like it. Sometimes, people are more important than what we want 'right now', and we have to make sacrifices for that. I think i'm ready for it, I just hope i'm doing the right thing.

[ang3l2004]

Can you honestly sit down and say I am ready to give up everything I have worked for?Ready to move from where I live to be with her?Only you know if you can do it and if you can more power to you,I can tell you love this girl and if things work out I wish you the best

[MetallicAguy]

I think you should do it. And that's just even better if you get to be with her and have a job on the spot open for you. And if she doesn't already know, don't tell her. It'll be a good surprise

[Sn0man]

I just sent her a short (somewhat short) email, spelling out my intentions. I'm sure it'll be a big surprise to her, and i'm not sure how she's going to take it, but I hope she takes it well. I told her that I wanted to come up to visit her this weekend to discuss some major changes (on my part), and left her with options. I hope this works out. I really do...

[ang3l2004]

I really wish you the best of luck,If things do work out I will be happy for you and if they dont stay strong and I will be here to help the best that I can,Keep us posted! Good luck, Mabe thing's will turn out exacly how you want them to..

[Sn0man]

Well, I sent the email last night, and I still haven't heard from her on the issue. I see that she was on MSN, but didn't msg me while she was on. Still hasn't called either, so I wonder if maybe this is it. Although, I did tell her that I wouldn't mind if she took some time to think it over, i mean, I expect she would need to do some serious thinking because it's such a big thing to go for. But, I dunno, why wouldn't she call yet? If I had someone telling me that they were willing to do something this big for me, I think I would be right in there! Maybe she just needs more time...... hmmm

[chai714]

If you only have a couple courses left, finish them. If she really cares about you, she'll support your educational goals, and then moving with her will be that much sweeter.

 

There are many downsides to continuing your education out of state. First, being having to pay out-of-state tuition fees. These can be thousands of more dollars, compared to what residents pay. Also, course transerability - you might have to re-take some of the same courses, additional ones, or both. This can be a headache. If you only have a couple courses left, I see more positives to staying in town and finishing them, rather than having to go through a big headache just to be with her. Like I said, if she's really into you, she'll support your goals.

[Sn0man]

And the answer was

 

 

 

 

 

Drum roll please........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No.