Tips on what I can do to move forward after breakup! [Long story warning :) ]

[RyanFrayer]

Hey everyone! I plan on writing down a story on what happened to me before and after my breakup. The mistakes I made and how I'm working on picking up the peices. I'm not just writing this for others to see but It makes me feel better to write things down, wheather it be a peice of paper on onto a screen.

 

For now I'll label my ex as Moon, more of an inside alias I used. Me and my ex got along so well, we were both pretty shy when we first started dating around 2 years ago. We both were crazy about each other and also pretty protective of one another, as how a relationship should be. We were inseperable, I was a bit of a goof, but at the time I was confidant and I led alot of our activities. Saying that, I was NEVER controling, or atleast I didnt feel like I was. I never upset her with my decisions so I don't feel like I did wrong in that department. She was my highschool sweet heart and each others first everything, we crushed on each other around mid Sophmore year and started dating Junior year. I was that guy in highschool that was cool with everyone but never hung out with alot of groups. I was pretty selective on who I went to party with on weekends. This I guess you could call it "Odd selection" would be my downfall.

 

My ex ended up being the person I shared all my secrets with, my pain, and my victories. As vice versa, I recieved all of that from her back. She was and still is my best friend. When we graduated she went straight onto college, she's an incredible actress and watching her in plays is always breathtaking. She's so distracting compared to everyone else I watch. My attention was always set on her. Her first year of college was a good experience for her and it went by pretty quick. She always told me stories about it, the friends she made and the good grades she always achived. (She was pretty good about gloating about her A+'s haha). Moon was incredible. As she would tell me about her, she always wanted to know about me. I told her the same story over and over. I went to work, came home and excercised and went to my MMA class on wednesday. That was it, I did nothing more in my life that was specifically immaculate. Not that I'm trying to down myself I was just comfortable where I was and man do I regret not doing more to make my self feel more fulfilled and appealing. The second year came up and we celebrated our 2 year anniversary around April. She's also into photography so she photoshopped these amazing pictures she took with the both of us. That was the last time I eally felt amazing with her, that was the last time I felt like we completly connected. Following past the summer of our second year it got rough.

 

Around Roughly September/October of 2015 I began to notice a difference in the way she was acting. She didnt become so much at the time as distant, but more confused or hurt. That was the feeling I got from her. As the months went by, I became so fustrated, during November I got employee of the month and I was pretty happy with that. Regardless, the distance that grew between me and Moon became pretty lenghtly at the time. So when I received that recognition at work I could'nt work properly, and I got lazyer at work due to becoming to stressed. I began to work less hours and some days I became so unproductive I asked to go home. I felt terrible that I was doing so well at work, then my mental health came and and punched me in the face. I couldnt work what so ever. The stress was astounding. Even so me and Moon still talked, some days were fun and some days felt tense and awkward between us.

 

Now if you're still reading at this point it's much appreciated! It's a big wall of text to take in and digest at once! The days went on, and it became evident that she was distancing herself from me and she became just as equally upset as me. We met up on Christmas and exchanged gifts. I got her a beautiful Amber ring, I have no idea if she still wears it haha, or if she's hidden it away somewhere in a box in her closet. The distance and seperation on that day was horrid and I wasnt sure at this point what I could do to repair the gap.

 

After that Feburary came around and she seemed to be done. She came up to my room and said she wanted to talk, she looked concerned and was staring me down. At the time, man i'll tell ya, she was glowing. Everything about her was shocking, she was beautiful. She told me that she wanted to break up. In my head I wanted to say so many things, "What did I do wrong?" "Is it somthing that I said?" "Is there someone or somthing else in your life effecting everything?". Instead, I just sat there and couldnt find the words. I was dumbfounded and the look on her face told me. "Please, say somthing anything to make me change my mind!" But I didnt make a peep. She said she understood and we both stood up. Before we both left she began to cry and I followed suit. I've never let out so much emotion and confusion at once. I hugged her one last time and she left. I haven't seen her since. As I was telling you ealier, that thing about me being "selective". Well here's the problem, after we broke up I not only lost my girlfriend, but I lost my best friend; the person I talked to the most! I had noone to really share the pain with. A few buddies and family members, but no one to help me with the shock. This here, hurt the most.

 

During the 2 months between our breakup and now I became so stressed and paniced I kept texting her.... and texting and calling and texting. I was being so annoying and I KNEW I was! But that didnt stop me, I wanted to understand what I did wrong, what I could do to fix it! Nothing worked, the only response I got from her was "Listen, right now I want you to focus on your life and I want need to focus on mine. You texting me is hurting me" I told her I understood, I still texted her afterwards trying to reconcile but eventually I stopped, realising it was just making me push her away even more.

 

I ended up looking at her Instagram a while ago. One thing that hurt me most was she got a beautiful tattoo of some stars on her shoulder. We had always talked about getting tattos and helping each other decide. She ended up getting one and it made me feel even worse. It made me realise I was no longer part of her life. Now, as I'm writing this I no longer feel depressed or as sad as I was a month ago. I'm still healing but I feel confident in myself which I had lost a few months prior and after our split. Now i'm going through fire academy around August and I'm helping with Non profit orginizations to help children. I feel so much better about myself. . I havent texted her in 3 weeks and I don't feel the urge to call her anytime soon. Right now i'm focusing on me and only me. I'm focusing on other people, other opportunities, other ways to improve. The only thing that I wish would happen in my life right now is if Moon sent me a text. It will probablly never happen, but I'm hoping. Hoping for a way to reconnect and appoligize for my terribly rude and annoying behavior before and after the breakup.

 

As of right now I need tips on how to move on as I've heard that moving on is the first step to getting her back. I need tips on distracting myself from her, what are some ways I can work on my more effectively? Lastly I want tips on how to reconnect, I'd want nothing more than to show her a new and improved me! I also want to know if I did anything wrong in the relationship, we would argue every now and again but nothing major like yelling or hitting. Was it somthing I did/didnt do? Did she just stop caring, shrugged me off and kept going? These are question that I wish she would tell me but never ended up telling me what I did wrong. Do you thing she wants to get back together but just wants time apart?. Right now I feel confident and happy for the first time in months! I want to continue this feeling, but I want to be able to share how I feel with the one I care about most. Any tips would be amazing thanks for listening to my long as heck post!

[Wiseman2]

Interesting theory. Do what you are doing...focus on your self-improvement and lay back on any contact. Do this for yourself, not to get her back.

I've heard that moving on is the first step to getting her back.

[RyanFrayer]

Hmm. I retract what I posted on the first step. I should just do stuff for me and only me. Ill work on things that benefit me the most. Thank you for commenting and reading