cantgetoverit Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 I had a long talk on the phone with exgf, she called to tell me she FIRMLY was no longer intereset in me , but the conversation changed and we started to talk about the fun things we did in the past. I poured all my feelings out to her during this call Two days later she asked me out to go skating and she was holding my hand again , for the first time in months. I thought maybe things were good again.T he next day we hung out too and she hugged me and sat in my lap . Then a week later I ask her out and she said no , she asks me if I remembererd the phone call where she firmly told me she was not interested in me anymore. I am trying to be nice to her about this , but I am pretty pissed off . I feel used. Am iI right in feeling this way? Link to comment
tanned_production Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Wow.. I can see why you'd be confused. It isn't fair of her to lead you on like that. One minute she's telling you that she does not want a relationship with you, and the next, she's acting like she does. Girls are tricky. I suggest talking to her... tell her that if she is really not interested in you, that she shouldn't be flirty, and act like she wants you to ask her out. Since when is that fair? I'm sure if you pulled the same thing on her, she'd be upset. Tell her how it makes you feel... Good luck with everything! Link to comment
clodhopper Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 You for sure have the right to be pissed off, I would be too!! I agree with the other posters, just tell her how this makes you feel. She shouldn't be allowed to give these mixed signals... quite annoying... good luck!! Link to comment
tanned_production Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Well then, you're on the right path my friend! But you had a right to be confused/upset. Keep us posted! Link to comment
clodhopper Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 well i guess its good that now shes at least aware of how it makes you feel... and hopefully it'll get better in the future. keep us posted, good luck Link to comment
cantgetoverit Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 No , she is not atouchy - feely person.W e did talk , she told me she feels comfortable around me but not interested . She apologized and said she would (try) not to touch me again Link to comment
marijo2480 Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 If I were you, I'd "try" to not be around her period. That is, unless you want to be led on like that! Link to comment
clodhopper Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 maybe just see her occasionally or something, or talk occasionally. maybe hanging out just isn't in the cards for you guys right now, maybe you just need some time apart so she stops making you feel the way she is... good luck! Link to comment
cantgetoverit Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 Why would she write " "try " to stop toching me". That makes me feel like she is still attracted to me. She broke up with me twice , she seems to be unsure of what she wants. Link to comment
chai714 Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 It was a bad move showing her all your cards, but you've learned your lesson. What do you do from here? You need to show her that you are less needy (don't bring up relationship talks). If she's treating you like a boyfriend and is exclusive with you, the title of "boyfriend" will come with time. You need to beat her at her game - show an attitude that you don't want her as a girlfriend RIGHT NOW, but enjoy hanging out with her. You can build relations over time with her, as you've been doing MINUS you talking about wanting the title of her boyfriend. Don't be confused by her words. Her actions do the talking. Sit back and have fun with the situation. I would even say you should date others as well, just to help yourself realize there is more than only one source of happiness. Dating others would also force her to either compete or give up all together. Either way though, I don't see any negatives in your situation right now, besides you wanting more right now. So, act and be independent, and non-needy. When you're with her, enjoy your time, but don't expect more right now. It will come with time. Link to comment
tanned_production Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 She could also just be searching for someone thats there for her, without all the commitment. Ask her why she's "touching" you, and giving you mixed signals. She's the only one that can answer the biggest questions! Link to comment
clodhopper Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 yeah i'd ask her why she touches you and gives you mixed signals! we can all speculate, but she's the only one that actually knows why Link to comment
cantgetoverit Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 She said maybe we can hang out in the future when her "friendliness" is not misinturpeted as interest. This actually happened a while ago. We hung out again and she gave me mixed signals again.Again on the phoie she told me she is not interested and should move on. I am pissed off and confused . Link to comment
clodhopper Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 She keeps repeating her actions, even after telling you she'd try harder. If I were you, I'd not hang out with her for a long while... til she proves she can hang out and be normal Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 You dont need to be confused over her actions. You are giving her the kind of attention she wants from a guy but she is denying you the relationship that you want. She is probably thinking that you two can just be friends and do those kind of things. However she doesnt notice how this is going to effect you. At this point you need to figure out what you want because depending on what you want will depend on how you will handle the situation. In a general sense you need to not let her use you for those bf kind of things that she is used to you doing for her. If she initiates contact with you in that way then you withdraw and if she asks why then you tell her that we dont have that kind of relationship anymore. This will be denying her what she wants and because of this she is probably going to be frustrated. This is what you want, you want to show control and that you dont want her back for the time being. You are going to seem that you have accepted how the situation is going to be. Link to comment
cantgetoverit Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 She avoids me now. Link to comment
clodhopper Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 aww cheer up!! my ex is avoiding me now too and its unbelievably hard to think that they're willing to just give up on even a friendship, but its her loss if she doesnt want you in her life at all!! Link to comment
DN Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 The return the favour and avoid her. The sad fact is it takes two to tango and you have both got yourself into this weird dance. Get off the dance floor and find a new dance partner. She should not be hanging out with you and giving you mixed signals but she is only doing that because you let her. So don't. Link to comment
cantgetoverit Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 I just wish I was the one who started to the avoiding . I made it to easy for her to keep coming back too me. Link to comment
mt_joy Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 I think she likes the attention, not necessarily you. You are there for affection, attention, caring... sure makes a girl feel good. You are a safe choice. She can't get this kind of attention/affection from a new guy. I hope that she will stop playing her games. You need to call her on it and tell her you won't put up with it any longer. Link to comment
cantgetoverit Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 Its over now. Just trying to understand this girl. Link to comment
DN Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Its over now. Just trying to understand this girl. No need. Find a new girl who's worth the effort. Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 shes probably confused or thrives on attention. but regardless shes messin w/ your head, set her straight & dont bother any longer. -DG724 Link to comment
tanned_production Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 If its over... dont waste your time trying to figure her out. Won't do you much good... Keep us posted! Link to comment
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