mrsin627 Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 Oh that's a different situation than I expected... I don't think abusers should get a second chance. I think they are capable of change, and I think they deserve a chance at love, but that chance shouldn't be with somebody they already abused... Just my opinion though. Link to comment
Raindrop22 Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 Yes you are right. That's my exact sentiment. He is beginning a new relationship and was asking me for advice and I'm just like ?????!! I don't mind but it's odd when your abuser asks you advice for the new lady. He's also mentioned he's not completely over me and that he loves me too deeply that he isn't sure anyone else will ever fill that space. I on the other hand feel the opposite and feel repulsed by him but that's a different story. I kind of gave him some advice but kept it strictly just that. He is aware we will never be together again. But I agree, abusers can change and deserve love when they are ready. I just hope he doesn't do to her what he did to me. It's been a bit over 2 years and I'm still traumatized by his abuse. I've only recently started therapy for it too. Link to comment
el3112 Posted April 21, 2016 Author Share Posted April 21, 2016 Lol i just logged back on, and reading all these posts is quite amusing now. thanks everyone for your constructive advice and to those who assumed he wouldnt be back im a good woman and i knew he would realise in return i have ended up going through this a even better woman than before , but i went 3 days NC and he come running back begging for me back, we are back together and alot happier Link to comment
Raindrop22 Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 That's great! Did he initiate contact first? Breakups are weird I swear. Sometimes it helps us see what we lost. Sometimes it gives us perspective. Sometimes it freaks us out! But hey at least he came back. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 Lol i just logged back on, and reading all these posts is quite amusing now. thanks everyone for your constructive advice and to those who assumed he wouldnt be back im a good woman and i knew he would realise in return i have ended up going through this a even better woman than before , but i went 3 days NC and he come running back begging for me back, we are back together and alot happier And seriously: What is the point of him "coming running back" if nothing has changed. Once the new relationship energy of your reunion fades and the rose coloured glasses come off, you will be right back where you started only this time you'll be even ore shredded having had to go through it all over again. I'm sorry this is happening to you, actually. Link to comment
el3112 Posted April 25, 2016 Author Share Posted April 25, 2016 And seriously: What is the point of him "coming running back" if nothing has changed. Once the new relationship energy of your reunion fades and the rose coloured glasses come off, you will be right back where you started only this time you'll be even ore shredded having had to go through it all over again. I'm sorry this is happening to you, actually. Lol and im really going to listen to your advice when you was somebody who assumed he was done with me, you sound very bitter! I cant believe I came on this forum for advice, my biggest advice I can give is do not come here looking for people to give you hope, come off this, work on yourself, & if your meant to be and the love is strong enough you will find a way to get be back together. & for your information a lot has changed within the relationship, we now appreciate one another more before, communicate a lot better and know where we went wrong previously Link to comment
el3112 Posted April 25, 2016 Author Share Posted April 25, 2016 Hello, yeah he did initiate contact first, throughout the break up he was always contacting me confiding in me as a friend once i said to him i can not be friends with him and we need time and space apart so he can either move on, once he heard that he freaked out, agreed he would give us space, 3 days later he contacted to meet up and then said how much he has missed me, loved me, realised i am the only woman for him we have alot of history within the last 6 years and we both wasnt happy before we broke up due to lack of communication, so we did manage to speak where we went wrong so started back up on a clean slate - all so very exciting! Link to comment
el3112 Posted January 9, 2019 Author Share Posted January 9, 2019 lol dont be sorry, he proposed a few months later, now happily married with a mortgage and a baby arriving in the next 5 weeks :) Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Who are you talking to?!? Link to comment
HeartAce Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 I know this is a very old thread... just wanted to say... All the break-up advice forums (this one included unfortunately), are full of people who are either bitter or "overly-realistic". All they usually say to those crying out for help is "tough luck, just live with it and f*** it". And while I appreciate the chances of reconciliation are slim at best, hope is a very strong driving force, regardless of what anybody says. If hope can make one become their best and strongest then so be it. Once they reach that level, they will be in a much better condition to take the blow if the original hope goes unfulfilled. Just my 2 cents' worth. And thankfully, the good can still happen as can be seen on el3112's example. Somehow, fortune does favour those who are prepared and don't run at the first sight of failure. Link to comment
HeartAce Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 lol dont be sorry, he proposed a few months later, now happily married with a mortgage and a baby arriving in the next 5 weeks :) Congratulations! Happy for you :-) Link to comment
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