My love could be dangerous...

[Empathy]

I was reading some posts again and another question came to mind (these posts make you think). I first came here because I was torn apart by a break up. We were apart for about 3 months and we got back together about a month ago. I'm so happy. I've won back the person I consider to be "the one." But is he really?

I'm almost positive that he doesn't love me as much as I love him. Or maybe he loves me the same and just doesn't show it the way I do. Or maybe I just love him too much. So much that it could be detrimental to me. It could be dangerous in the sense that I might not be able to handle losing him again. I thought I was going to die the first time. I can only imagine what the second time around might do. I've often thought of my boyfriend as the type that, when we got older, would leave me for a younger woman. This is because I pretty much have proof (some things he's said in the past) that one of the main reasons he's with me is because of my physical appearance.

What happens when I age and time takes over my appearance? I know that my love for him is lasting no matter what. He could gain 100 pounds and I'd love him just the same. He, on the other hand, hesitates at the thought of anything destroying my looks. Yes, I've asked him the "If I lost half of my face would you still love me," questions. His answer, "I don't know. Why do you ask me these questions?"

Maybe I should just get to my point. My problem is I'm afraid that I'm giving every ounce of my love to a man that I fear will probably leave me in the end. Part of me wants to break up with him because of this revelation that I've had. But what if I'm wrong. His answer to that question isn't that important. Is it? This is really eating away at me. I hope that some of you can shed some light on the situation. Thanks in advance.

[peanut15]

Turn it around on him...tell him if he got fat and bald that you'd think twice about being with him

 

Now seriously, if someone were with me just for looks, I'd dumped his sorry ..you know. When you love someone, you love them for everything they are outside and inside. And like you said, you have this fear that he'd leave your for someone prettier because of what he's said. I'd stick to that feeling and rather would be with someone who treated you for everything good that you are and not leave you with this lingering fear that they'd leave just because you physically are not "all that" anymore.

[Empathy]

One thing I forgot to mention that may be of importance. We fell in love with eachother when I was 30 lbs heavier than I am now. The strange thing is he seemed more attracted to me/in love with me then than he is now. Even though he admits that I'm much more attractive than I was before. That's what makes this whole thing so confusing. We've also been together for a little over 2 years in total. I love him very much. How can I be sure that dumping him is the right thing to do? What if it's a mistake?

[MetallicAguy]

Some people are just like this. It comes in their "pre-hard-wiring". I'm not sure if it's their genetics causing them to be like this or if it's their choice to only be attracted to the physical features. But that is rare, I know everyone likes personality. And like peanut said you love them for inside and out not 1 part.