confussed emotions

[Chisama]

I once went with this guy in high school. We talked a lot and hung out many times. One day, he was told by someone else how much he was admired by me and that is when we started going out with one another. He gave me my first kiss, which was by the way the best experience i have had in my life.

His exgirlfriend found out about the relationship and she and her friends threatened to fight me if he didn't break up with me. One of the girls ( who hung out with her) had a class with me and she was the one that had told him how much i admired him. I was stabbed in the back. He lied and told me that we acted too much like friend to be boyfriend and girlfriend, and that he didn't want to ruin this relationship by stupidity. Too Late.

After that moment i didn't speak to him for months. I also cried (not in front of him) but to myself for his foolishness and his need to impress everyone. It wasn't fair to me. (I had transfer from one high school to another durring my 11th grade year and he was one of the coolest friends i had ever had.) Some friend.

Also, No offense to others, he was a Jehova Witness and he wasn't allowed to have a girlfriend outside of his religion. Niether am i, I'm Christian - Baptist, and there was going to be complications in our relationship unless he converted to Christianity properly. After he broke up with me, my brother hated him. So now, he doesn't have a great relationship with my family.

Now that we are out of high school and i'm in my 2nd year of college, he is in trade school. I really miss him and i find it very hard to move on. I try tell myself so many reasons why i shouldn't be with him. I even call him names just to stay away from the thought of him. But there are times i could call him and tell him that i miss him. But then i will send signals that he doesn't need to know until i get my priorities straight.

His exgirlfriend by the way still hates me. She threatened to commit suicide if he didn't get back with her. He ignored her but fell for it later when her bestfriend threw herself infront of a car because her friend (the guys exgirlfriend) was sooo depressed.

I cried. How could he be sooo stupid to fall for such CRAP.

Now, i just want someone soo much different. I want someone like him but stronger. Now that he is on his own, i wonder has he learned that? i can't change him. He has to change himself.

 

I need advice, i wanna call him, but i don't want to say or do the wrong thing. I love talking to him. But i am putting myself at risk. Well, i think?

[MetallicAguy]

Well my advice to forget about this guy, is to stop keeping in touch. Just stop talking to him, their's always another person out there looking someone like you, it just depends on yours and theres motivation to do so.

[Chisama]

But he keeps in touch with me. I haven't called him in soo long. Also, my friiend is the one that bridges me to him. He might three way us. Just to all work together. He knows where i work, soo sometimes, he comes by just to say hi.

 

So, just tell him to stop coming?

[MetallicAguy]

Yeah, you could say that. You could say "Could you plz stop coming it hurts way too much to see you, I'm sorry I didn't want to hurt your feelings"

[Chisama]

Well, okay. I wanna tell him. I have to courage to tell him now. But you think i should tell him the next time he emails me or see's me at work. Or now? unless someone else has more advice....

[MetallicAguy]

Whatever your most comfortable with.

[Chisama]

Thanks soooooo much.

 

(later)

.... wait a minute. Do i actually sound that hurt? I mean i do like talking to him. But then again.... See this is what i'm talking about.

 

I like him, but then i don't. I'll call him and let him know... That's final.

[MetallicAguy]

Yeah, no problem that's what I'm here for. Oh yeah if I'm doing a good job with advice PM me or tell me in the forum. I want to become a psychologist so I want to know how I'm doing on here.