Falling out of love?

[Dream20]

Last week I came upon some provocative pictures of a girl that dated my boyfriend, and had recently started talking to again, which he told me about but forgot to tell me about the pictures. Long story short, I am still very hurt and mistrusting of the whole situation. He says he loves me and that he is sorry for hurting me.

I want to believe him and go back to how it was,( if it wasn't for this incident I wouldn't be doubting anything) but I'm having a hard time doing just that. I feel like he disrespected our relationship, he says that nothing was ever going to happen between the both of them that there were just pictures to look at. Although I love him very much I don't feel the same. Is this how it's now going to be? Will it ever be the same, or better? Or is it just a phase as part of the healing process?

[n83]

He didn't "forget" to tell you about the pictures. He's not being honest. And as long as he's not being honest, no, nothing will ever get better.

[milly007]

I'd dump my boyfriend if I found pictures like that in his possession. There's no reason for him to be holding onto those while he's in a relationship with you. He forgot about the pics? Yeah right.

[Dream20]

In retrospect I should have have added "forgot" I am fully aware that he did not want me to know about the pictures. Honesty is very important in a relationship and know I find myself wondering if this is something that can be fix or worth fixing....

[HeartGoesOn]

Although I love him very much I don't feel the same. Is this how it's now going to be? Will it ever be the same, or better? Or is it just a phase as part of the healing process?

 

Of course you don't feel the same, how could you after he betrayed you and lied directly to your face? His reaction is one of being sorry he got caught, as opposed to sorry for what he did. That in itself tells you where his loyalty lies.

 

He's clearly demonstrated what he's all about, therefore it's your call. Just be careful to think long and hard, and don't fool yourself.

[catfeeder]

I can't speak for you, but my own private rule is that I won't involve myself--or remain involved--with anyone who's involved with an ex in any way, shape or form beyond shared children. I'd tell BF that he's free to deal with his ex all he wants, but I need to walk away while we still think highly of one another. If he ever decides that he's done and completely over his old business, he can contact me, and if I'm still free, maybe we can meet to catch up. Meanwhile, I wish him the best.

 

But I doubt that I'd revisit someone who tangled with an ex while involved with me. That's a feelings-killer, and I wouldn't be very motivated to keep someone who'd do that in my life.