Jlm1602 Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 So I slept with 2 guys a few days apart and I'm not sure which one is the father. I spoke to my doctor about the situation and he said that the dates are so close that either one could be the father so my best bet is to get a paternity test. Ok I understand that I have to do that but should I tell guy #1 that I am 8 months pregnant? He had no idea that I was even pregnant until a few days ago when I accepted his friend request on Facebook. Guy #2 knows that I'm pregnant and thinks the baby is his. How do I tell guy one that the baby might be his? I'm so scared. I've known him 5 years and we've always had a good relationship. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Do it right. Get a paternity test and tell the correct father. That is the only moral thing to do . Link to comment
overthemoon86 Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Just get the paternity test, that is the only way to know for sure. Are you dating guy 2? Link to comment
TMifune Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Does guy #2 know about guy #1? Wouldn't you pretty much have to tell guy #1 if you want some of his genetic material for a paternity test? Link to comment
Jlm1602 Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 I know I have to tell him but should I tell him now or wait until I have the baby? Link to comment
DancingFool Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 For a paternity test, you'd need a DNA sample from the guys in question. So not telling them is not even an option. Might as well face the music yourself and give them a chance to get used to the idea of being a dad shortly. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Well one of the guys knows about the baby so if he donates DNA and he's not the dad has to be the other one . Link to comment
Jlm1602 Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 I agree. Fml. I want to tell him I just don't know how. Link to comment
Jlm1602 Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 I was dating guy 2 but we broke up when I was 10 weeks. He isn't around at all and said when I have the baby to let him know. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Just get a paternity test done and you owe it to the father and the child to know who the real father is . My stepsister lets her son believe that the man who raised him was his father but he isn't . One day that's going to explode in her face . Link to comment
Jlm1602 Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 I agree and I am definitely gonna get a paternity test but what I'm confused about is whether I should tell Guy #1 yet or after I have the baby? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 It is probably best to have facts before you approach somebody . Link to comment
TMifune Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 I personally would want to know of the possibility sooner rather than later. If someone showed up with a kid and told me it was mine 3, 5, 10 months after that child was born I'd be wondering "Why am I just hearing about this now?" Link to comment
Jlm1602 Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 I won't have the facts until I get a paternity test and I have to tell him to do so. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Well, it is between 2 fathers. If one is eliminated that leaves the other one . Link to comment
Jlm1602 Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 Thank you! 👏 lol How should I tell him? It's gonna be awkward no matter what way I do it. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Hey, I am pregnant and you might be the dad. Direct is probably best because there's no way to sugarcoat that . Link to comment
TMifune Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Hey, I am pregnant and you might be the dad. Direct is probably best because there's no way to sugarcoat that . Definitely better than pointing at your belly and screaming "This may be your fault!!" ;-) Link to comment
DancingFool Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Definitely better than pointing at your belly and screaming "This may be your fault!!" ;-) LOL....I kind of like that approach..... followed by "So, how about we drive down to the nearby lab to make sure." Anyway, on a serious note OP, it's really not fair of you to drag this out. Either way it's going to be awkward. Even with the guy who thinks it's probably his, when you ask for him to do a paternity test, he will have questions. So just be prepared to answer them tactfully. Anyway, you had sex with one, then you went on to date and have sex with the other. It's just life and they both know what they did with you and what the potential consequences might be any time you sleep with someone. So just speak up. You don't need to say, "Oh I slept with you both 2 days apart" - pregnancy is not quite that precise, so I'd gloss over that if you want, but you still need to bring them both up to date on what's going on. In short, keep it simple. With your friend, just tell him, "hey remember when we.....so could be yours. You also know we parted ways and I dated someone else for awhile, could be his. However, I need to know and wanted to let you know there is a possibility the baby is yours. Could you please do a paternity test with me. Thank you." Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Just wait one more month and find out. No need in having that guy sweating it out for 30 days waiting for the news. After the baby is born let them both know that there is some question to who the father is and ask for them to go to the clinic to provide a cheek swab. After all this is over and the father is revealed I think it is a good idea to get yourself some condoms so you don't find yourself in this situation again. I hope you have a happy healthy baby Lost Link to comment
Jlm1602 Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 Thank you so much @dancingfool! 😄 You made my day! I've been a wreck going over speeches and trying to think of the best way to tell him. I hope they will understand...people mess up and do dumb . Link to comment
TMifune Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Something to ask your doctor about. It looks like the technology to do safe, non-invasive prenatal paternity tests has been advancing. Maybe you can have it done before the baby's born. (Based on cells in your blood, not worth sticking a amniotic needle in to get the baby's blood, imho) Link to comment
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