goddess23 Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 hey everyone. well my ex and i broke up beginning of september. it was the first relationship for both of us, one of great intensity, very serious lasted 9 months. he was becoming like part of the family. anyways things were perfect, it actually started getting more serious and he went on vacation fer over a month and came back confused. said he needed time. and then it was basically a breakup. that he just didnt feel the same anymore. i was heartbroken but life goes on...at first we were REALLY TIGHT after the breakup. our brekaup was holding hands, and the first couple of weeks he would talk to me as if i were still his gf. we slowly started to drift...we're still friends and what not. but the thing is, sometimes hes very flirty,very touchy and other days he barely aknowledges my presense! im just wondering why he would do this. i mean is he still battling with his feelings or is this just wat his mood is that day? anyone gone through this or done this to their ex? any replies would be very much appreicated. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 There's a book you should read, "He's just not that into you." Sometimes, people just fall out of love. I'm sorry, it hurts, but it's true. Just learn from this relationship, and move onto someone who is right for you. Good luck. Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 #1 thing is touching. That's the strongest form of flirting for like the past 10 centuries or whatever lol. So basically he still has feelings for you, but it definitely is the mood on that certain day. Or it isn't the mood on the day and he's just playing back what women do all the time to us. (Hint: Mixed Signals). Link to comment
iceesnowbubble Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 Hey~ Sometimes people just need to take "little breaks" to find themselves...and it almost seems like that is what he needed to do. As human beings we often question ourselves and doubt our decisions, which is whats up with his mixed signals. However, don't let him pay attention to you only when its convenient for him...becuase thats not fair. Let us know how things progress! .. Link to comment
arwen Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 Hey girl, I don't think the book 'He's not that into you' is really applicable after a relationship you already had, nor if things like this happen during a longterm relationship. I think it's more a bible for the early stages of dating someone. I think in this case things are more related to age and personal development than anything else. I understand it's very confusing for you, but both of you are in a period of life where things are changing very much; you will be off to college soon, choose a direction of work/education and meet a lot of new people. Although it's always difficult to read someone's mind over the digital network from a message of someone else, my impression is that he is torn between his need for freedom and you. It's quite a lot to commit at such a young age, when there is still so much open in life. This doesn't mean things are over for good, it just means he is not able to right now. If it's too difficult to stay friends for you this way, try to talk to him about it. You might find some answers on what he is up to. take care, Ilse. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 Yeah... now that ilse mentions it, the "he's just not that into you" book may not be the best book for this instance. I do agree with the other posters - you two are going to be graduating from high school soon and going on to college. Like the others said, he probably has really conflicted feelings - for example, he may like you, but he wants to start the "college experience" without a girlfriend. Good luck - I hope things work out! Link to comment
arwen Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 It is a very Good Book though. Read it anyway and keep it in the back of your mind in starting-to-date-and-already-mindguessing-him-after-2-dates-situation. That's a big word. My head is crazy today, don't mind me Ilse. Link to comment
goddess23 Posted February 25, 2005 Author Share Posted February 25, 2005 aww thank you guys so much for your caring responses. hes actually a year younger than me lol so that may have some influence as well lol. but yes i know that right now the way life changes its normal for things to change. its just i look around and i see the way other girls treat their guys and im not even lying when i say i put no pressure on him to be a "boyfriend". like i wouldnt expect him to walk me home everyday or call me or whatever. we never spent weekends together, im always out with family and he would chill with friends. we would just send email and tlak on the phone. its just when i look at other relationships it seems as if i dont put ANY PRESSURE, however i know that hthere still is pressure. but yeah...today again it was very mixed lol. actually tomorrow night we have this sleepover at my school and hes like begging me to come. i am going, a lot of my friends are also urging me to go. but ya its up and down. btw, a couple weeks after our breakup he kind of wanted to get back with me but said he was afraid he would "change his mind again" and didnt want to have to go through another hurtful breakup. i told him look if you like me you should be with me if not you're doing the right thing. and that was that. so yeah...but i will say this. i dont have any HOPE of actually getting back together. im being honest. at least not anytime too soon. but i just wanted to know what was going through his mind. i appreciate all your diplomatic and direct responses!! any more are very much welcome! Link to comment
goddess23 Posted February 27, 2005 Author Share Posted February 27, 2005 hey to any of you that wanted to kept posted. well last night was the sleepover thing but i had to leave at midnight. anyways...when i got there, i had a lot of friends chilling with me and whatever. so i went in the gym and i noticed my ex was kind of wherever i was. some guys were trying to show me how to like shoot a PROPER basket and what not lol and then he started to like take over. so i sort of just ditched him A LIL lol, so he was just nearby. then later we played with the ouija board, me a few friends and him. so then just me and him played and we were alone. so i asked if i loved him and if he loved me and it said "yes". then i asked if i love him n he loves me and it said yes. and he didnt say ANYTHING...neither did i and i just asked about other guys lol and whatever. so we kind of connected and whatever and he stayed with me until i left. it was strange...i thought he wouldnt give me the time of day...and then his friends were asking my friends "wheres ____(his name) gf...i mean ex lol. it was like we were still going out. so ya that was another up of probably another couple of downs lol. any comments on this?? Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 hmmm.... sounds like there's still a connection there between you two... Link to comment
goddess23 Posted February 28, 2005 Author Share Posted February 28, 2005 lol ya...thats how it felt at the sleepover thing. lately honestly like this past week it seems as if hes starting to like me agian. like hes very interested in ME. honestly like things havnt been like this in a LONG TIME i mean about four months. so maybe he is starting to like me again...but then that leaves the question if i should go out with him if the oppertunity arrose. however, i know if that did happen it wouldnt be for at least another coupole of months (im pretty sure) so for now i plan on just going with the flow. ive stopped complimenting him and giving him all that attention. maybe thats whats keeping him "interested" ughhh the confuzzlement! Link to comment
clodhopper Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 I think you're doing the right thing. You stopped complimenting him and giving him attention, which probably made him wonder what's up with you and why you're not interested anymore, which makes him wanna talk to you more... so yeah that's probably making him more interested. I would just say keep it up for now! For me... my ex and I have been trying to be friends the last couple months, it's been really hard. But he would get distant and stop giving me attention, and it would make me wanna talk to him more (seems like your situation a bit)... now we're in a really rough spot and I've decided maybe it's best if I don't talk to him anymore. If he chooses to talk to me, I won't ignore him, but I think it's a good way in seeing if he even wants to talk to me. If he never contacts me, it's clear he was never thinking about me. I know we won't get back together (your situation looks more optimistic)... all I want is a friendship Link to comment
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