We don't want what we can have...

[Phoenix Down]

It's been some time but I'm lightly seeing my ex (not the resent one, but the ex b-4 her). It seems like just under 2 years ago, I would have done anything to get back with this girl. (even distroy a relation ship that deserved a chance) But now that she's calling me all the time, I see how much wanting what we can't have can mess with what we need. For those of you out there who know you will move on, remember this is only a small set back. Pick your self up and move in your direction, for you. For the rest of us who aren't sure, think of it this way, all this wanting and needing may just be in our heads (to a point). We all know loosing someone is hard and it's going to hurt, but the amount we let it hurt may be in our control. I guess it's like climbing a big mountin.

 

At the start all we see is this big thing in our way casting a shadow on our lives. Cant see over it or around it. But on the way up you'll start to see the land around you and where you started and once at the top, you can see all. How far you've come, everything around you that this big rock was blocking and where you want to go next. For those of you that are half way up this moutain and still think thay need that one someone to go any further, stop. Keep looking up, theres still a ways to go. Dont give up or give yourself limits n-till you've reached the top, and by that time you will see. That you are the only person you truly need back. The one you're missing is you. We loose ourselves in others so often it drives me crazy. I've just now reached the top, so I still have much to see. I just want so much to let everyone know it's not so bad.

 

Just give it time. Things will come around and when your YOU again, you will know where to go and what you want to see next. There are people who fall and wont get back up. I was one of those people, but this site picked me up and got me half way. I owe every one a big thanks. Don't give up on the ones you love, but get you back before you try to get them back. Your mind may change.

PS sorry if this is crazy, I had to type very fast. It's time to go to lunch. phoenix

[mrNobody]

The Phoenix rosed from the ashes to live again. Great post. Congrats man!

[Phoenix Down]

Thanks man, I feel like a new guy. Good luck and best wishes.

[volution]

Some people seem to have an unconscious saboteur that pushes away that which they most want/love. And this can end up where they ruin a relationship.

I experienced this with my ex.

She told so many times that I was the best thing that ever happened to her. And I knew she meant it. But at the same time, she unconsciously pushed me away on several occasions.

 

I think it all comes down to fear. Everyone naturally has a fear of rejection and being abandoned, but some people have a (much) greater fear than others. Her parents had died when she was young, and I don't think she ever really got over it. She was insecure, and I could sense she was terribly afraid that I would ever cheat on her or leave her. Even though I wouldn't, and I told her so many times to reassure her, she still couldn't accept it. I too was somewhat insecure (this being my only relationship in my life), but I would have had the courage to stand by her for however long it took, and do whatever work we needed to do so we could move on together. But alas, she didn't have the same courage. And it messed up my life too.

[Phoenix Down]

It was fear that stole my ex from me as well. I was very insecure, but what gets me is we always know what steps to take when theres no one left to walk with. I'm sorry to hear about your ex. All I can say from her point of view is it's so hard to believe something or someone's not going to go away after life has tought you other wise. The only way the fear will pass is when we're not afraid. For me, I had to be alone. I had to face the demon that stole my happiness. Tho I still dont have that chance to show the one (like you) what went wrong, I know time will show her why I did what I did, and how I never ment to push her away, but at the time fear's grip was so tight I couldent speak to explain even to myself. Good Luck, and I'm sure she thanks you for having the heart to understand the moment. My ex may never know how sorry I truly am, even through my music she still seems to be deff to what I sing, but oh well, I deserve someone who will listen. We all do.