Letter from Ex after 9 months

[tristesse]

Hello

 

Hello every body,

From those of you who remember me… I have a news: My ex finally wrote to me! 9 months after the sudden break up. Here's what he wrote:

 

 

I'm sorry! I'm thinking about you! I never wanted to hurt you… I constantly wonder how you are doing…. I just wanted to say hi…. I think about you… I'm sorry.. I'm sorry I put you trough so much pain.. I'm sorry ..I'm thinking about you….. I think about you all the time.. anyway just wanted to see how you and you family were doing.. I'm sorry…

Thinking about you

 

 

Very short yes I can see that too…. But I still want him to regret and get my revenge- what should I di? Should I write back? If yes what to say?

I still love him but want him to feel the pain I went through….

Pls advice me!

 

Munca are u here!!??!?!?!?

[esboogie143]

I feel what your saying. it is soooo hard. im in the same situation at this moment. He's not saying that he's sorry verbally but his actions are saying sorry for him. Now im going with the flow b/c I want to be with him but like u i want to make him sweat also...BUT...i dont know how to do it b/c i dont want him to stop coming back slowly...ya know...so my advise would be dont be nasty about it...accept everything that he's saying BUT take everything as if he ws a noone....ya know? Take it like its just another guy...but u and i both know they are the men of our dreams!

[DragonGirl724]

ok first of all. its not right to 'seek revenge' dont play games with people. so what, he made a mistake he screwed up, hes appologizing for it all. you can forgive him & be the bigger person but tell him youd rather not speak to him again even tho you can forgive you cant seem to forget. there are so many better ways to handle this then how you plan. it takes a lot for someone to appologize & make a mends for the pain they caused someone. the scars he may have embedded into you may never fully go away, or they might..but whats done is done. you know what you dont even have to forgive him if you dont want to. but dont purposely do something to hurt him. b/c meanwhile hes trying to make up for what he caused you & if you intentionally make him feel like crap now for it, then the guilt will reside in YOUR heart, not his.

 

-DG724

[Hope75]

I am also not an advocate of revenge or games.

 

If you are still in love with him and you would consider a relationshiop at some point with him again, then write back.

 

Do you accept his apology? Part of healing for yourself, and if there is any way you can have a healthy relationship with him, is to forgive what he's done to hurt you. This doesn't mean you have to forget, just let it go and move on.

 

If you find yourself unable to do this, then for whatever reason you are not going to be able to have a healthy relationship with him, and I don't suggest you try.

 

The guy is big enough that after 9 months he's apologizing to you. That takes guts, and obviously he still cares. It's up to you to make the mext move, and you have to honestly evaluate what you want from him.

 

If all you want to is to hurt him like he hurt you, then leave him alone. This is not a game. These are people, and you didn't like being hurt, so why would you want to stoop to that level and do that to someone else?

[tristesse]

hi,

U are right I should not wnat to hurt me.. since I still love him so much. I will always .. after being w someone for 4 years how can u hate them after all??!??!?!

 

whats hould I reply? I don't wnat him back.. but i shoudl forgive!

pls help

when should I REPLY?

he wrote on Friday - when should i send a reply?

[Hope75]

How about,

 

"Dear ______

 

Thankyou. I accept and appreciate your apology."

 

Anytime would be fine to send that off, it's already been a few days.

 

Are you sure you see no future for the two of you? You say you still love him, do you not want to give this a try, is the damage just to great for you?

[Belle]

tristesse,

 

je suis pas complètement d'accord avec ce qu'on a dit. if you let him back in your life easily, he will most likely hurt you again. honestly, i'm not sure i would take him back if I were you but it sounds like you've made up your mind. wahtever you do, please make him work HARD to get back. Sometimes it is very difficult to apologize, but i don't believe he's just apologizing because he feels bad about what he did to you. he's a selfish person and he feels bad because he misses you and is afraid that after what he did to you he might not get another chance. most people don't appreciate what they can have easily. and they don't respect someone that allows them to walk on them and that forgives them like nothing happened. that's just my two cents.

 

i wish you the best. but i do believe you deserve better. i remember what you went through the first time.

 

belle

[brando]

tristee,

 

reply when you r ready and you have your thoughts and feelings intact. Let him know you got his email or letter and you need some time to think about things. At least let him know you read what he wrote, if your not ready to reply your not ready.

[kate111]

I agree with the letter someone suggested earlier. "Dear________, Thank you. I accept and appreciate your apology".

 

Something like this would be classy. It would show that you are the bigger person (as Dragongirl has stated). It takes a lot of strength of character to be able to forgive like this. In the end you will respect yourself and he will respect you too.

 

I know, cos I did something like this. My ex hurt me bad and I decided not to get revenge and instead gave the impression to him that "i forgive you, but I cannot be your friend". For me, that is how it was. I wasnt hell bent on revenge but wished him the best (very hard to do) but wanted him out of my life. I couldn't let him in again, not without him doing some serious sucking up, and then only as a friend. It would take ages to trust him again.

 

But how you feel is up to you. I agree with the poster above who said you should make it hard for him. I say you send him the letter but then initiate no further contact. Then see if he contacts you again. He may not, he may only be looking for your forgiveness.

 

Goodluck

[cassiana]

There is a line in Communication theory that I firmly believe in.

 

"Be clear about your objectives".

 

If everybody thought carefully about what exactly they were trying to communicate the heartache of the planet would be wiped in half instantly.

 

correct me if i'm wrong but your primary objective is to get him back and keep him back.

 

If this is true then revenge has no place in your reaction. Having said that if you make it too easy for him you won't keep him long. So how do you do both? Ah that's the question.

Your reply should be slow in coming, confident and firm oh and don't give too much away.

 

I think the terse reply recommended above is a good opeing gambit.

Good luck.