Very long!! Hope for others but not me !!

[Crugsta]

I've been reading these forums for the past couple of months and it's helped me get through a fair few hard times. This is a LDR/LTR RECON/SPLIT STORY !!

 

I met my ex when I was 16 she was 15. We lived close by and quickly new what we both wanted with eachother. About 5 months of our young love she moved away back to her home town 110 miles away at this age it was a big stress for us but we managed to make it work.

We had many many hard times arguments and all the rest that comes with it. But we made it through 3.5 years of it we started getting on alot better about the 3 year mark and things were easier we was both working driving and seeing each other as many times as we could a month( spending weekends with each other. We was in love

 

I also spent 5 months away in Germany working away mid term relationship and we made it through that lonely time and pulled through.

Well about a year and 10 months ago she announced she was confused with a strange feeling of what she wanted I begged cried did all the usual. We met up in a public place that was in the middle for both and she realised she was just being silly and still loved me. This was the start of it. (This be about July). So then in October she rings me up out the blue completely when I thought we was at our peak of happiness and says it's not working she loves me up not in love all the usual.

 

I beg I cried for 2 days to her. I then cut all ties because I didn't get anywhere except 4 weeks later I made a drunken phone call which I don't remember to her but it wasn't good to say the least.

 

That was it !! NO CONTACT. Completely cut all ties no numbers pictures packed all out gifts cards everything away no social Network. I pretty much straight away rebounded I think she did to but no sexual encounters for her!! Me rebounding really took my mind away from it all just was a big pick up at a low point of my life!! This rebound was a fling and we both new it. Anyway my ex contacted family members a few times and even me twice over the Christmas period and I didn't once write back to her I was to hurt!!

 

5 months it was no contact until I knew she was coming into town to visit of friends. Nothing all weekend until 10pm Sunday night she rings me. It's what we all want to hear. Begging crying for me back to see her to hold her yea all the things we want !!

 

I'm honest we slept together within about an hour and now I see it was just plain stupid. After talks and about 2 months of contact and meeting we were back together !!

I was the happiest guy alive and she was the happiest women alive !!

 

For the next 6 months we was so happy we literally never argued if we did it would be nothing serious and we would both apolagize mid argument and be fine again!! I did everything for her..

 

Now her dream has always been to be a air hostess and just as we got back together she was recruited to be one but for a few months of desks checking bags and what not!! This was hard she was doing 6 days on 3 off!! Different shifts living in a shared house 110 miles from me and 70 miles from family. !! (Her family is the closest bonded family I've ever seen!!) this out s strain on us but we worked it out she would come down and odd travel to her when I could but it wasn't easy as I had a mon-Friday job she would normally be doing weekends so it was hard !! Unfortunately she took this job as a massive ego boost she became attention seeking loving the spotlight all the time.

 

Off course she was constantly meeting new people from all aspects of the world! I admit I the honey moon phase wore off again and we both became a little more distant due to working different hours being tired but we would make effort to send a few texts each day!! If not a phone call.. I will also admit we was amazing when together we had so much chemistry and love we was always happy. Just when we wasn't together our texts wernt overly exciting a bit blunt.( due to busy lifestyles)

 

She loves to party and drink fair enough no problem at all! I'm not a jealous guy or controlling or protective in laid back and let her do her thing. The only thing I ask is that she messages me to let me know she is home safely so that I have some comfort she is okay!

She went out on a Saturday night !! I woke up without a text so I was worried but also a little anoid because it wasn't the first time !!

 

Eventually I hear from her and she says she is fine. I say in a bit anoid but it's fine and I make a joke about it and say well I just hope you still love me BOOM next message is !! Im not sure anymore

So I ring her and we talk for 3 hours about how she doesn't feel it's working she has a strange feeling she is worried she won't see me because she starts flying with cabin crew in 2 months time ( which is in 2 days time) (bare in mind I've always said I'm supportive and would do anything to help her with her dream job which I have!! Drove her 100 of miles for meetings pushed her to her maximum!! )she doesn't feel like we have passion. She cried I cried I told her how proud I was to have her she said all the same back she loved me and will miss me.

She even mentioned if she regrets it that it will be her fault and her loss as she has hurt me !!

 

I cried and she couldn't hack hearing me upset she said I'm so so sorry and said goodbye and that was it !!????

 

I've heard nothing from her since I have neither tried contacting her. I sent her belongings back with her brother gf who lives near me !! No thank you nothing!! I don't hear anything over Christmas or anything. Just from a. Few friends they say she just keeps putting pictures online of herself posing and raking in the attention. Then I said I don't want to hear it !!

 

It's been about 9 weeks it's nothing in the long run i know. I'm in complete no contact no one has any idea about me unless they see me in person I don't have social media of any kind( I like to go off radar when this happens!!) I think she is worried about her job not seeing me and loving attention so made her decision to go for a new life!! Although I think the novelty will wear off with the flying within a few months I doubt she would get a steady boyfriend as she wouldn't be around much and I think if she did she would compare a lot and realise what has happened!! Maybe I'm being skepticle !!

 

I am not sure why I am writing this maybe it's just to vent my emotions. Advice is welcome by any means !

 

I love this girl to the moon and back she knows it and I know she does me!! But realy twice ?? Could I take her back the longer NC goes on iM thinking does she deserve me!! But I also think she needs to experience this phase and maybe she will realise what she had was a good thing!!

I'm pretty sure I'll hear from her again we was to close and family all get on as well but in what way I'll hear from her and for what and when I don't know!! Maybe by then I would have healed and moved on or maybe she would of I really cannot tell and no one can!!

 

The beauty of NC Is I can't push her away any further. Also that I can heal easier. I've since been thriving in my career become a bit of a fitness freak lost weight, go to the gym 5-6 times a week. Train in martial arts Muay Thai!! Cut all bad foods alcohol smoking out and feel good within myself!! But I have a big hole missing !!!! Time will slowly scab it over but it'll leave a scar !!

 

Any advice on what to do/ what you think is happening inside this girls mind and could it really work with s long time apart ? ( year or so!).

 

THANK YOU FOR READING MY FELLOW FORUM READERS !!! Chin up we all have a life to live don't let others stop you !!

[Crugsta]

Just a quick add after all this in 2 days time the day she starts flying !! Would of also been our 5 year anniversary!!

5 YEARS!! Damn that's a long time of my life

[mhowe]

She is growing up and spreading her wings.