I really don't understand, guys please help!

[xcountryprincess]

I'm going to be 15 in two months so I guess I'm trying to understand this from a 16-17 year old male perspective, which I find incredibly difficult to do.

 

Anyways, I've realized that at school the girls that do have boyfriends are the really b***hy girls on campus that dress in revealing clothing and to be honest don't have much substance. We are at an all girls' school so I guess that the guys they date they meet at social events or while at the mall or movies or something.

 

What I don't get is why the girls at school, who are honestly quite attractive but don't call attention to themselves by wearing revealing clothing, don't get approached by a lot of guys or date a lot. Personally, I think like most other sophomore girls, I do want a date however, I find it difficult to meet guys or get them to talk to me.

 

I know I probably wouldn't have this problem if I dressed like them but I guess what I'm trying to understand is why is the slu***sh look so attractive to guys. Now I'm not saying that these girls are sl*ts but they do dress in that fashion like them.

 

Do guys not look at how pretty a girls face is or that she generally has a nice figure. Must they be allured with tight shirts in which girls are literally busting out of tops that show your stomach? Is a developed, mature, and intelligent mind not also attractive?

 

I suppose my question is what are guys looking for in a female, because it appears to me that they are looking for girls willing to reveal their bodies, who to be honest aren't incredibly studious or looking toward their future.

 

I hope I'm wrong and I'm sure that of course there are guys who aren't like this but this happening is rather depressing to see and I just don't understand it.

 

So again if I could get this answered form the male perspective at the age of 16 or 17. all ages and thoughts will be greatly appreciated but could you try to remember how you though when you were this age.

 

Thank you

 

Signed, Greatly confused

[confusedmama]

I think what you have to remember is that guys are attracted and aroused by sight more than any other sense. Also 16-17 year old boys are not really interested in conversation or your point of view, now I realize this is a generalization and some boys are interested, butmost are into more of what you are offering in a physical sense. thereforeeee, the girls that advertise their commodities are going to have more lookers and wanters than those that don't.

 

Saying that, I also believe a girl should be able to dress as she feels comfortable without being pressured for sex or relationships.

 

Those girls who are comfortable with who they are and don't dress sleazy b/c it is a fashion and not one they feel comfortable with are much better off in the long run. Most guys sooner or later realize that they want a girl who has a brain and a personality not one who simply fills out her shirt.

 

Don't rush you rrelationships. If a guy is only looking at face value you need to remember you deserve something better. And it WILL happen.

[littlelaxer]

im not a guy but i guess ill give u my thoughts

 

i totally understand what u are saying....its not fair that these girls walk around school in trashy outfits and get all the attention but the girls who dress nice dont get any.

 

Back in high school i didnt dress trashy or anything like that....i dressed the way i wanted to and so should u. 15 is such a strange age because ur starting to grow up u know?!?! and its hard to feel where u fit in, or basically what looks good on you. like i said i dressed like myself and as the years went on i found my own style and plenty of guys to want to date me......and i am most DEF. sure you will as well!!!

 

A guy is going to like you for you...maybe those girls get more attention becuase of what they are wearing but in a couple years ur gonna look back at pic of them outfits and think "ew god what was i thinking???" (or those girls will). So whatever u do Do Not dress like them.

 

I know this is tough to think about ......but worry about you.....you have to feel good about what u wear and how u feel about urself. A guy is gonna like you for you not what you wear.

[hazlcha]

I'm a guy who used to be 16/17, (although my folks think I'm still stuck at twelve!)

 

At that age, people can be very superficial. They spend most of their thoughts on being cool, hip, popular, and they dress like the supermodels and pop stars who dress that way. They want, more than anything, to be cool. That can be harmless, or it can be a problem if they're not careful with just how far they're willing to go.

 

Guys are also looking to be cool, and sometimes that means having a girlfriend who is "cool," and can be his - to put it bluntly - trophy. And, yes, a lot of guys at that age are also definitely looking for the fastest way to get sexual. A girl who promises that will get his attention sooner.

 

Rare are the birds who don't succumb to all that peer pressure and devote their energies to becoming a fine, healthy, educated and responsible person. Eventually, everyone ('cept me, perhaps) matures, but some get there sooner and with more depth.

 

I sensed that you were somewhat disturbed that you weren't getting all the attention you desired from the opp gender. Let me say to you not only not to worry, but keep on sticking to your standards. Buck trends that you don't agree with, and be true to yourself. Then you will attract a guy who is really worth keeping. I wasn't into the "sl*tty" girls in my HS, rather the artistic and creative ones. Made life much more interesting for me.

 

Good luck!

[boredguy]

arite heres a 16 yr old guys opinion.

most guys in our age group are pretty much lured by sexual attraction at first. but u cant really generalize because there are many guys that would want a girl with more substance than jus a piece of arm candy. basically, it depends on the individual. dont stress out. i knw its hard, it seems as though u dont fit in if ur single, but honestly, thats bs. theres nothign wrong with being single in high school. ur barely 15, dont sweat it. theres many many dating years to come.

just relax, be yourself. do the things you love, and eventually someone will come along. just take it easy.

[lawandorder]

well, I am not 17 but I was there once. When girls dressed in that manner it was like advertising they were easy. Now, there were a few of my frineds that would go out with them and get what they wanted and then move on. But then there were alot of us that would go out with the trashy type and party. But when it came to being with a girl for a relationship we didnt want to be with a girl that went around the block all the time. We wanted the girls that didnt sleep around and that were good girls. Now once a girl had the rep of being a s__t she never got a guy that was worth anything. So keep that in mind. You will get a guy but get one that wants you not just a one or two nite thing and then leaves you. Hope this helps. Peace

[Mr. B]

I hope you don't mind a 20yr olds perspective. Through high school, i found most of both the guys and the gals to be pretty pathetic and judging character. It's not until after high school that girls stop dating jerks and start looking for husbands.

[lonelyguy]

hey I know exactly what you mean. It seems most guys at my age are all about sex cuz everyone's hormone crazy. There are some guys out there though who aren't intrested in girls who dress that way. Just not as common in our age group If I were you, I wouldnt worry too much about guys right now and just wait till after high school unless you happen to find a guy of course. We're young anyways, there's no rush for dating

[skyteph]

The 'sex' look might attract them at first, seeing as guys are more visual, but you've got to have substance to keep them around. Eventually (however long that is ) they will want 'proper' girlfriends, so I guess you'll just have to wait , although I'm not a guy so, eh.

[ForAnother]

Just keep going along and I am sure that there will be a good guy to come along in your high school career. Its a balance that you as a girl must control what gets played and what does not. In 10th grade i couldn't imagine myself having sex... 11th-12th grade summer I had my first... and I will tell you what, the maturity between 10th and 12th grades is so big that I can't express how unbelievably different i was from 1 year to the next.

 

Guys initially are more interested in the body type. I bet by the end of your junior year and the rest of senior year, guys will be looking for a girl to "like" not just hook up and run.

 

Don't be fooled, first semester of college is all about the messing around and having fun, not until sophomore year do people start coming to their senses. No worries, have fun.

 

ForAnother