General Questions for men and women about V-day

[emma34]

So I have never got any of my boyfriends gifts on v-day. In my mind set (i'm not sure why) V-day seems like a day for a man to shower affection on his girl and celebrate love in general. I mean it's not ALL about women, it's about both, but should the girl get the guy a gift too?? If yes, what to get?

[DN]

One of my pet peeves is the way Valentine's Day has become this huge pressure by commercial interests (and by some women) on men to spend money, time, and attention on their girlfriends. It has changed what was a charming custom of sending a small token, anonymously, to an unattached target of your affections of either sex to this artificial "spend money on your girl or you are a cheap useless boyfriend" marketing ploy. It makes women seem mercenary and manipulative and men as dumb enough to go along with it.

 

Why should it be only men making women happy? I have been pleasantly surprised to see a number of posts by women seeking advice on what to get their men so perhaps the ploy is not working entirely.

 

Get him what you think will please him.

[ShySoul]

How about agreeing to no gifts and instead a nice romantic evening together. Valentines shouldn't be about what to get someone, it should be about the love you share. And nothing says I love you like nice, quality time spent together.

[Zimetra]

Sure, it's not a one-way thing, right? Of course we give each other something. My bf and I don't believe in the commercial thing, so it's just gonna be lots of extra attention and something small like flowers and we write poems for each other. I mean, I prepared a poem for him and I'm almost sure I'm going to get one too

[shes2smart]

Personally, I've never gone in for these "Hallmark Holidays." If whoever I'm with needs to be reminded by the outside world to show tokens of affection on a specific day....no, thanks...I'm not impressed.

 

Then again, I don't do Christmas either. It just puzzles me when people have lists of "things" they want for Christmas. If there are "things" I want (and there very rarely are) I'd rather just get them myself.

 

If he gives me a card or gift on any regular day just because he was thinking of me....I'd much rather have that.

 

Consequently, my husband is the envy of most of his male co-workers since he's not being expected to pony up jewelry, flowers, candy or cards today.

[ayekasong]

In Japan, women give men chocolates on Valentine's Day. On White Day, exactly one month later, men reciprocate and give women candy.

 

I personally love any excuse to give people things, but I definitely think that if gifts are being given on Valentine's Day, that both the man and the woman should give each other a gift. Otherwise, no gifts and a dinner like someone else suggested would be great.

[RayKay]

I of course always do something small, it might just be a homemade card, or some homemade cookies, or a small gadget he has wanted, a nice dinner made for one another, a nice long massage but I don't think it is fair for all the pressure to be entirely on men!

 

I don't expect anything (and have never really "celebrated" Valentine's Day, but do sometimes get cards, etc. It's not about the gifts or anything though, as with everyday of the year, it should be just about showing your partner your love.....that can be done with a extra big hug and a giant smooch too!

[AlleyCat]

I had never really thought of Valentine's Day as being particularly more demanding for men than women, but now that I think of it, we're usually bombarded with jewelry commercials and other ideas of what to get women, but not much for men.

 

Personally, I've never cared for Valentine's Day (although I've actually had a b/f every Valentine's Day I can remember since I was 15). I basically see it as a day to make people without a significant other feel more lonely, and a way for the greeting card companies to make money. That's not to say I haven't done my own share of stressing out about what to get my S.O. I've always given my b/f at least as much as I've received, although I've never found Valentine's Day to be particularly significant. To me, it seems like a "watered-down" version of a couple's anniversary - without the significance to make it special.

[volution]

Agree with you wholeheartedly on Valentine's Day.

Perhaps it's because I've never had a Valentine, and last year I got spurned on Valentine's, but I've always thought that VD just makes those of us who are single feel like we don't deserve to exist.

 

Some people reserve this day of the year as the only day to express/show their love for their partner. If you really love someone, then you'd show them any and every day of the year!

I also find it sad that people resent their partners if they don't do anything special on VD - some feel like they don't love them, if they don't do something!

 

 

One of my pet peeves is the way Valentine's Day has become this huge pressure by commercial interests (and by some women) on men to spend money, time, and attention on their girlfriends. It has changed what was a charming custom of sending a small token, anonymously, to an unattached target of your affections of either sex to this artificial "spend money on your girl or you are a cheap useless boyfriend" marketing ploy. It makes women seem mercenary and manipulative and men as dumb enough to go along with it.

 

Why should it be only men making women happy? I have been pleasantly surprised to see a number of posts by women seeking advice on what to get their men so perhaps the ploy is not working entirely.

 

Get him what you think will please him.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Buy him a watch. But he is another idea. Write poetry about how much you love him, appreciate him, look up to him, ect.....and write it in a special journal or something in calligrahy..something he can keep!!! And read!!!!!

 

Good luck!!!

[justagirl20f]

I think V-Day should be relatively equal for a couple. My BF usually ends up getting me more because I'm easy to shop for (hahaha) but we try and keep V-day to a minimum.

 

He got me a bath set from the mall, a manicure and pedicure from a salon, and a funny card. I gave him chocolates, a card (as well as a special card from our "girls"... the dogs) and a nice watch.

 

We agreed no roses EVER on v-day because they cost so much and die within a few days anyway. I guess other things I would get him would be a sweater or something... He's so practical that clothing would be most appreciated. In turn he gets me girly things that either sparkle or smell nice. While we pretty well are equal for v-day as far as cost goes, his gifts are more romantic while mine are more practical.