Suggestions on how to start no contact / how to stay strong - help me

[jim355]

It's day 1, morning 1 to be exact. I need some strength

 

All I can think about right now is texting or calling her tonight.

 

Any motivational threads or advice someone can point me to?

[Clinton]

It sucks right now for you I'm sure.

 

But I'm sure your ex knows how you feel about her and any relationship talk or pleading will just drive her further away. If she wants you she knows where to find you.

 

You can't do anything more to get her back, but there are a ton of things you can do to drive her farther away. All unwanted contact right now, and let's face it that's everything, won't be received well.

 

So go NC and heal. And if one day in the future and that's a big if, she contacts you, see how you feel about it then. You might very well have a different attitude about it by then.

[jim355]

Thank you

 

I am going to go NC. Last thing I messaged her (last night) was I wanted to talk to her again sometime. I suppose if she wanted to talk, and has the urge to she will. There is no point in begging and looking patetic.

 

If I even think about replying I will seek advise here first.

 

Was it a good move to block her on facebook too? I did that last night and feel a little guilty about it.

[Clinton]

Yes it was a good move. Your primary objective is to heal yourself now. Block all social media. As I said, if she really wants to, she'll find a way to contact you. But don't live your life waiting for that. Move on as if it's over for good.

[kudos]

My thread may help you! It's called I did it...3 months no contact. Feeling good.

Stick to it. It's worth it. Good luck x

[melancholy123]

Block her from your phone, social media etc. Go NC and stick with it. You dont need to talk to her, you just think you do. Keep yourself busy with activities and people you enjoy.

[jim355]

Thank you. I'm trying to stay active outside of work. But at work its really hard , I'm fighting tears at my office.

 

Anyone have to cope with this?

[lje1994]

Hey, sorry to hear about your situation. I'm in a similar boat to you (see my thread - have I made the right choice) long and short we formed a friendship but I wanted more and she was in total control of our situation and more importantly more in control of my feelings.

 

You've made the right choice as far as I'm concerned regarding deleting her facebook etc I have also done that. I didn't block her number but instead deleted it to avoid any slip ups.

 

But don't beat yourself up about feeling down at work. Your human allow yourself time to grieve, take each day at a time and set yourself a goal and say to yourself. 'I won't speak to her today' and gradually build it up to 'I won't speak to her this week'

 

They both know where we are and if the relationship is worth it in their eyes they will fight for it, and if not, you have to ask yourself do you really want to be in a one sided relationship?

 

This is not day 2 after I told her I didn't want us to be in contact, yes I feel down but at the same time a little happier that I'm taking control of my feelings and won't let her dictate them by mind games.

 

Take each day at a time and have a rant on here to get it off your chest.