Urgent.

[Wetash]

My boyfriend broke up with me few weeks back. He was texting normally after that. I started replying just to accept friendship and nothing more.

I never understood though why he went to the extent of ending it. so my friend spoke to him. because he wouldnt tell me anything.

he told her issues that were never in my head. things i thought were too trivial. i have fought with him about his ex, and he had a drinking problem.

and the main thing is he was always in close contact over msg and phone with his ex girlfriend. whom he told me before that he wanted to marry and stuff.

after we broke up. in two weeks suddenly he went off whatsapp. I asked him what happened. he said had a fight with few people , needed some time off. I got curious. and I also felt little bad that maybe it was because i wasnt replyign properly or acknowledging the friendship, he felt lonely and left.

However he told my friend that he left whatsapp because he fought with his ex!!!!!

What am I supposed to make of this?????

[mhowe]

He is more involved with his ex than you.

[Wetash]

In the beginning of the relationship, I expected him to tell me that his past was done. I needed this from him because before we got together, i was the one he told how much he missed her and used to cry so much. Suddenly our friendship changed to love. I needed some reassurance from him which he never gave. so i saw his msgs. and i also told him about it. I told him frankyl i have an issue with u guys talking, but if u were such close friends , i wont interfere. But please let me know if things change anytime, dont keep me in the dark. he got pissed first and decided that I am not a cool person I used to be when we were just friends.

Did I do anything wrong? So wrong that this should prevent him from moving further?

 

He also told my friend that because of his ex, he became like this. she is an ass** , and he used to be an emotional guy before, but she changed him. That he became a very hard hearted person and couldnt handle me cause I was very emotional and sensitive over everything.

[overthemoon86]

Well the only thing to make of this is the fact that you are no longer together. Whether he chose his ex, his videogames, or his dog over you...it does not matter. He broke up with you and that is the reality. Everything else that is going on is just drama. Let it go, focus on yourself and find your self worth again. You don't need someone to validate yourself. Take care.

[Wetash]

what i described happened in the second day after we got together. I felt i should clear things in my head before i move further. so wanted to talk to him about it in the first itself.

The ex issue came up again just one more time, and that was a fight too. But after taht I just gave into the fact that exes can be friends, maybe they are really close and . let me not interfere in that.

I need to know, if I did anything wrong. So wrong . ?

[overthemoon86]

You did nothing wrong...he just had feelings for his ex not you. That's all, nothing you can do to change someone's feelings.

[mhowe]

How much time evolved from his break up to him dating you?

How long did you guys date?

[Wetash]

So he is the ass*** here right ?

Well, I am so demotivated right now that I need to know that I was never in the wrong throughout. I know this feeling should be there in me and I neednt be asking anyone to tell me that.

The problem is he broke the whole thing. so it makes me look like I did something wrong. else i would have let it go.

[Wetash]

we were togehtet for 5 months

his ex broke up with him. he keptgoing back to her after that for like 6 months... and I asked him to ask her once finally and move on. he did that. she said no. and he let it go.

then we became close . and got together in i guess two to three months I think.....

[mhowe]

He was never over her.

[kbbcoop77]

Right, you were the rebound. He tried to use you to get over his ex, which is selfish and horrible but pretty common. Now you know if someone is fresh off a breakup and is hung up on an ex..run.

[overthemoon86]

Right, you were the rebound. He tried to use you to get over his ex, which is selfish and horrible but pretty common. Now you know if someone is fresh off a breakup and is hung up on an ex..run.

 

^^ I agree with this, you were the rebound.

[Dottieflanogon]

Stop obsessing over what he does, he's now an ex . Not trying to be harsh but wondering what he's up to and monitoring his social activity and who he's talking to etc is not going to help you. Close the book on your ex once and for all. Good luck

[ParisPaulette]

The bottom line is this guy isn't over his ex, but you're a page holder for whenever he feels lonely or needs a reminder that he's desirable enough even if it's not the woman who is his ex who wants him. And yeah, he had a fight with the ex.

 

I'm sorry, but he dumped you for reasons that you should have been dumping him for--one, his heavy involvement with the ex and total lack of respect or caring for you that he'd maintain contact right in front of you and two, his drinking problems.

 

Both of those should have had you running for the hills. This kind of person also makes a sh**ty friend. You're the backup for when he needs an ego boost or to make the ex jealous, surely you realize that right? Time to block and delete him and heal and move on. This guy has serious red flags you should be paying attention to, not wondering if he's lying to you 'cause yeah he is. Most definitely.

[Wetash]

Thanks ParisPaulette. That really helped me feel stronger.

[ParisPaulette]

You're welcome. Remember, you deserve more. Head high, play some Kelly Clarkson and go out with friends or take up a new activity or hobby. It helps.