is this right?

[uongy]

hey guys.i recently posted about a certain attitude towards dating "co*ky and funny" which is often used to get girls.ive been thinking and i wanted to share my thoughts.

 

basically,i aint really confident in this kind of thing.im a quiet person most of the time,but i can be quite talkative when i want to be.unlike some people,i like being who i am ie im comfortable being nice and sweet kind of person.im a very caring person so ive been told.

 

anyway,i know a lot of girls would be turned off by a person like me.fair enough,i dont want a girl who dont appreciate me for who i am.i want to stay true to myself but im kinda frustrated becase so few girls appreciate the kind of person i am,and those that do are more a friend than girlfriend.

 

any thoughts?

[REALITYMAN]

WHAT GOOD IS ACTING IN A WAY THAT IS NOT THE REAL . SHE WILL SEE THE REAL YOU LATER ON AND THEN NOT BE ATTRACTED TO YOU . JUST BE RELAXED AND TALK TO A GIRL AS IF YOU ARE TALKING TO A FRIEND . THE KEY IS DO NOT BE ALL NERVOUS ABOUT TALKING TO HER . SHE WILL SEE THIS AND NOT WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU . . OK . REALITYMAN. .

[1899]

Another thing too is to realize that most girls our age are not going to appreciate someone like you until later in life when they want a serious marrage type realationship, so just be real, be friends, laid back dont be too availible, not mushy mushy, keep meeting diferent people and you should do ok.

[DropToZero]

uongy...you know me, I've posted about this....but don't think of it as a way to 'get girls'...think of it as a way to improve your confidence and have a good time talking to girls.

 

You sound a lot like me, but I've gained more confidence using the C&F. Personally...it works too well. B/c when I was first trying it, I was just trying it on girls I wasn't really 'highly attracted' to. Just girls I found myself more comfortable talking to. I'm not going into a huge story...it just works to the point that she's almost becoming kind of annoying b/c she wants to talk to me so much... Just be careful with it lol....

 

I also don't understand why everyone her thinks adding a little humor to your conversation is 'changing' yourself...if it really is...its for the better. But I never have thought to have really 'changed' myself in such a manner that I don't know who I am. I really think its awesome tho for what its done for me ....I don't have just guy friends anymore tho...I have like a bunch of closer girl 'friends'(minus one post from a while back lol)...b/c all I did was be nice to her. Then when I tried to 'hang' with her or get her number, she started ignoring me or something...I dont get it really...I'm still trying to talk to her, but I haven't seen her on campus recently. Okay, got a little off subject there....but its fun and most girls enjoy it....it'll help you in the long run...just practice it.

[uongy]

thanks for your thoughts......very informative.

 

i do have an element of C&F about me,i know this because ive just noticed that i use it in my humour a lot.my humour is also self-embrassment style as well(making fun of myself) so maybe i should tone down the latter and increase the former........

 

anyway....more thoughts please if any.

[justagirl20f]

When girls grow up, they appreciate guys like you. My BF is the biggest nerdy, shy, quiet, sweetheart you could ever meet. He's perfect. The girls that are only attracted to bad boys/players later on are trouble and you wouldn't want them anyway.

[Bad_Disease]

It's always good to be funny and talkative, never try to be something you are not to impress girls, and don't say "ain't".

[Lily04]

Just be yourself. I never had a boyfriend until I was 19, and it was a pretty good relationship, albeit somewhat short. But I laerned a lot about who I am, and what I'm looking for in a relationship. And I didn't sacrifice my personality just dating guys I wasn't interested in (and believe me there were quite a few...I was asked out a lot my first yr of college, but I wasn't really interested in them. I like guys like you -- confident, funny, sorta witty & intelligent. It's a hard combination to find, but if I just date any guy I get bored very easily.) I like flirting though, that's fun...if you haev trouble meeting the right type of girl don't stress about it, you'll find her soon enough. College is a great time for meeting people and learning more about yourself. You'll find her eventually.

 

Take care,

 

lily