How can I forget?

[Kronoshim]

My ex girlfriend, whom I dated for two years, dumped me about a month ago.

 

I beg and pleaded for another chance and it didn't work. I know what I did, and what led to our break up, at least I think I know.

 

She suggested for us to be "friends," we went out once; then she started talking about some guy who's trying to get her attention. I was crushed, and decided not to call her; It's been five days of NC. I've been getting strong emotionally, although very slowly, just enough so that when she does call me back, I can tell her that I don't want to be her friends and to not contact me more.

 

but how can I forget? all of those special moments? I wanted to save the relationship and I find myself alone and somewhat empty without her

 

I know I deserve better, but I find it very cruel for someone to just toss me out like that.

[Movingforward3]

Hello, OP. I understand. I am at 4 months under similar conditions. It is hard. The best thing I did is focus on myself. Eat healthy and exercise. Live your life. Have fun. Be with family and friends. It is difficult and you will have days that are not good. You must try. The hardest thing to do is to do nothing. If she is coming back it is up to her. Don't be desperate or beg. Keep your self respect and give her the space she needs. Let her live with her decision. If she wants to be back, she will contact you. Just move on the best you can, accept you control only you, recognize there are many possible out comes. I wish you solace.

[Massari]

how can I forget? all of those special moments? .

 

welcome to ENA. You are in good hands here I have gotten lots of help and advises here from failed relationships and moving on. I don't think ex es can ever be friends when the breakup was in bad terms and only one party wanted the relationship to work out. How can you move on? stop talking to her and don't be friends with her. It's easier then done but trust me on this this is the only way you can get full closure and move on with your life and start dating again.

 

Chin up! cheers mate

 

P.S you are hearing this from someone who was with a girl for 4 years (engaged for two of those years). But then I was the one who broke it off but it was still difficult as hell for me cause of those "wonderful moments"

[RiverDust]

Kronos,

 

You can't be friends with her, there is no way. you are too invested in this. You may have all of these thoughts and feelings of thinking that it is the best way to go about things, but it truly is not. There is no way that you are improving over 5 days of NC. The only way psychologically that you could possibly improve in a short time is if you cut off all ties to your ex and she calls you and you tell her that you need to get over this and would appreciate it if she does not contact you until you are ready to be just friends.

 

She is using you as her emotional crutch to be there for her when SHE needs you. Meanwhile you are thinking to yourself that you need her everyday. She knows she can have you at any moment and that is not attractive depending on how old you two are. take that security away from her, make her miss you. even if you don't end up back together you can not pine over the hope that she will come back. Say to yourself that she isn't and i know that hurts. Try to accept it. Dude she is not coming back, no matter how much you think the relationship meant to you, it clearly does not mean that much to her. If it did you wouldn't be here. Turn the tables for yourself and be honest with yourself. This sucks, and i know.

 

How do you get over it? Live... It's not simple, it's not easy. If you have hobbies reinvent yourself. One thing that helps me is trying to forget my life with "her" and actually remember who i am. at this point i am sure you do not even know who you are. Reflect, this person did not make you who you are and that is a valuable person. Social media, don't post depressing sh**, don't post at all unless it's good stuff with friends and that you are well... living well is the best revenge. It is very hard to realize you are now alone with yourself, but in all honesty, is that a bad thing? The thing about this scientifically is that brake ups are in the mind are equal to stopping a drug addiction, it will take you at least 3 weeks to recover with no contact. you will feel better in some degree. You will feel somedays are good others suck. its natural. It's not what you want to hear being that in your mind time is critical, at the same time it is critical. What you do after a break up is important, not just for reconciliation but for you. Keep in mind you are the only person you were born with besides your mother and you are the only person you will die with. No one makes you except you, try to stay busy as best as you can.

[kamurj]

Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.