I'm getting frustrated, confused, upset...I dunno what to do

[bb13]

Me and my GF have been together for almost 10 months. Before that, we were best friends. When we finally got together, we were so enamored with each other. A very large part of the time that we spent together was making out and much farther. Nearly every day we would fool around. Even in school we would french.

All of that has changed. She doesnt really want to be sexual with me that much any more. It's been almost a week since we really made out. I've made many attempts at it but she's never into it. Our basic kiss now is barely more than a peck. She wont really kiss me in school anymore. And she gets put off when I tell her I want to kiss. I love her with all of my heart and soul and want to be with her but I dont know if I can put up with this. It doesnt make me feel to good. We've talked about many times and never get anywhere.

I'm going with her to FLA in a week and a half. If nothing has improved by the end of then, I might suggest taking a break. I definitely dont want to lose her. But I also cannot allow myself to keep feeing this way. Though I am a sensitive, "nice guy", one of the ones that the mother likes , I am also very physical and passionate and need that back. She used to be that but now she doesnt seem as into anything or at all into it.

*Do breaks work?

*Is this a serious problem?

*What could I do to fix it?

[Day_Walker]

It sounds like you already have a sound plan. You should follow that plan if the situation doesnt improve.

[lady00]

Yes, I would say this is a serious problem...because it makes you feel bad and because there is a big imbalance in the relationship. BUT, don't assume that it is caused by the relationship. It is of course possible that something in the relationship is bothering her but it could also be that she is stressed or bothered by something unrelated to you. Have you tried asking her if something is wrong? Is there anything going on in her life that may be stressful? My best advice is to be very patient with her and try to see things from her perspective. Let her know that you care about her a lot but that it bothers you what is happening and just express to her how you feel. But also try not to make her feel like she has to do things...I think the best thing is to be very patient and communicate with her...try to figure out why this change has occurred then you can work on getting things back the way that will make both of you happy. Good luck!

[bb13]

I have asked her many times all of those things. I've tried asking her why she doesnt like it as much any more and the answer ALWAYS is "I dont know". I dont know what is getting to me more, her body language and reactions or just the things she says to me on daily occurrences. Whenever I used to say some sexual innuendo(sp?) or suggest something sexual she'd used to love it. Now she'll say "nice try". I am starting to hate those words. It's like she thinks I'm trying to get with her...like a stranger or something. The only words i hate more are "i dont know" we used to be able to talk about anything without any conversation barriers. However she says she loves me more than she ever has. This is the most confusing and frustrating thing ever. GRRRR I think I'm going to try to lay off attempting to kiss her (I've tried this but she's soo beautiful) until FLA. and we'll see what happens. If there isnt any improvement I'm going to have to suggest a break. Maybe it'll scare her into seeing that I wont always be there and that I have needs too. I hope so because I cant afford to lose her. I love her so much.

[bb13]

Do Breaks work??? Any experience???

[Roasted Carrots]

Whenever I completely break off romantic kisses and sweet nothings and replace them with dull "I don't knows" I'm either contemplating breaking up with my boyfriend or incredably depressed again....or both.

 

Does she have any history of depression? Do you notice any other signs? Sudden non-interest in sex is also a red flag behavior wise. Something's up, and somehow you need to find out because she'll only tell you nonverbally.

 

I'm sure that's not much help. I hope I'm wrong.