Wafils Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Finally, after 6 years together (on and off)..numerous contact attempts over the past 1.5 post bu years...I finally told him to never contact me again. It feels really positive, right now.. the past month has been a mess of hold and cold behavior from him, I've just been so bewildered.. could never get a straight answer. I no longer want one. Previously there was always a tiny crack in the door, open just enough so that if "someday" things change, we could reconcile. Im done being toyed with and putting myself in such a ridiculous situation. I have left no room for further contact, full stop, done. Tomorrow may be harder, but sometimes you just have to quit them cold turkey and live day by day. I have ZERO expectation of ever hearing from again, so liberating. Anyone else stuck in a limbo...you don't have to live this way, you can do better. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Congratulations! I'm glad you seem so positive and determined to move on with your life. I feel sorry for all those people who get into the drama of trying to get back the person who does not want to be with them. There's plenty of fish in the sea and you will find the right person for you in time! Link to comment
Missed Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Good for you on taking a stand. Perhaps this could be an example for many users on here! I did a similar thing with an ex recently when he asked me "is it ok if we still keep in touch" when he knew that I am happy and in a new relationship he then told me how amazing etc I am, I just laughed as he had stuffed me around, his loss anyway at the end of the day! I haven't regretted it once saying that to him. Our paths will cross eventually due to mutual friends but meh, he can suck it up! You wont regret it, you will meet someone fantastic and the ex will just be a distant memory! Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Congratulations. I can say that while it will get harder and easier on and off, mostly what you'll probably feel after all that is just relief. And then you're going to be furious with him and with yourself in turns. Get through all of that, you have a great new life ahead of you. And I can say that, because my last ex was also an on-off six-year relationship that basically was one giant waste of time and mind-F from the word go to the end. You finally pulling the plug and saying it's done is the step you needed to get to in order to end things. And that should take provided you maintain NC, do not let him suck you back in since it's more than likely at some point he'll show up begging for yet another chance. Mine still does so and it's been years now since I walked. I simply add his new number to the blocked list and move on. I will tell you now is the time to dump anyone toxic out of your life, to work on and focus on you, to let go of old possibly unhealthy habits, to go for those dreams you've had. I can't promise you this breakup will be easy, even the most amicable of breakups is still hard, but your mindset and attitude mean everything in terms of success. Don't look back, understand you have finally chosen better for yourself. And I wish you nothing but success. P.S. Years later I'm married to a great guy, own my own place, am really happy with my life. And none of it was possible until I shed the ex and the toxicity of the relationship. Keep in mind you want better and do the work to get it, it will happen. Link to comment
Man with Dog Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I think it is simply unacceptable to be living in limbo. If I was in an on-off relationship, there would be one chance: 2nd off and it's off for good. Life's too short to be living on maybes. Trust me, mine is half over. Link to comment
Wafils Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 Thanks for all the positivity from everyone!! I FINALLY found the gumption I was missing (lost in a fog of "wistful/hopeful/fairy tale dreams come true" bologna, I'm sure) to AT LAST say, no, you've twisted me around enough.. always hot/cold, yes/no, in/out. I felt strongly about our shared history and supposedly mutual affection to get sucked into this, thinking "one day." For those of you in this place, just know: "one day" never comes. All the wonderful memories and happiest moments will NEVER make up for all that's missing, RIGHT NOW. I can promise you chances are slim to none (if any) that the he or she you are waiting for will change to the point of appreciating all your loyalty, love, and patience. In fact he or she is likely Taking advantage of your "kind" (ie, in their eyes...doormat) nature. So after a month of trying to get straight answers about his contradictory words and actions, getting radio silence for days on end ("too busy", despite claiming he wanted to marry me), and zero regard for my feelings, I am throwing it all out and not looking back..I actually lost respect for him over the past month. He's just indifferent, selfish, and cold. I suspect this is making it easier for me to walk away, but really, maybe my eyes are just more open. He's one to claim, all his exes were "crazy" ..red flag, from day one. No, I can't respect this person anymore. He won't be back. I think he would have been open to fooling around (and I somewhat now suspect he's seeing someone, but it's irrelevant now) but he never really wanted me back. He doesnt want someone who will call him on his bad behavior. If he ever does, well, the joke's on him. After this little demonstration of his terribly treatment of someone he "loves"..I don't see him the same way at all. He's not even friend material.. Link to comment
Man with Dog Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Good, I'm glad to hear this. Well done! Link to comment
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