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Finding this so difficult


Miffycat14

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I am with u, Miffy.

Totally understand what ur feeling.

I would say one day at a time. Try to have fun and put things out of ur mind.

Only allow yourself a set time to be sad. Then move on from there.

Focus on yourself.

Exercise, eat better, and leave your life.

Your in control.

Today, I am choosing to allow my emotions to get the better of me. I am working on changing that to I did the wallow and time to get back on track.

I am.sorry for your pain! Here's to solace!

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I feel your pain, Miffcat. I even had to get off of Facebook for a while because I got tired of the "happy" posts. I was like, ughhh f your happiness! Some days will be awesome some days will be hard. Just relish in the good days and give yourself some grace on the bad ones.

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Sounds awful but at least I'm not the only one. Thankfully I'm moving out in 3 weeks.. Fresh start, no reminders.. Let him walk over me again and again I've been miserable for about a year now and yet still I'm sad!? I don't understand how my brain is working. I hope you feel better soon also I wouldn't wish this on anybody!

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I know its easier said than done, but don't re-live the past, don't have imaginary conversations with your X, don't think "I should of said this.. or that" Don't try to go back and think where it went wrong or what you could of done differently. Cant change the past, every action, every word you said you thought it was the right thing to do or the right thing to say at the moment. Now, you didn't say much about what happened, but if your X messed up.. same thing.. cant change what happened.. its done.

Its like a glass of spilled milk, you can look at it and cry, you can examine how it spilled, you can sit there and ask people how it happened, you can blame yourself or blame someone else or you can just clean it up and get another glass. Its really up to you...

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I know it's over but I'm finding it so hard to get on with things. Literally thinking about things 24/7 I just want it to go away.. When does it go

 

Yea, if you think about it 24/7 you will never stop feeling this way.

 

Key to your healing is diverting your thoughts and NOT thinking about it when the thoughts come up.

 

Practice makes perfect.

 

Time is your friend also, in time you will feel better, but you need to stop sabotaging yourself with your own thoughts!

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I know you are so right.. I've known it was wrong for so long. In future going to listen to my gut instinct and hopefully all this hurt can be prevented from my side. Just so rubbish at the moment

 

This is a lesson to learn and grow from. You will never stop learning about relationships and love. I still learn every single day, I still make mistakes, no one is perfect. Its better to begin a new chapter in life. Before we can move on, you have to put the past behind you, stand up and look forward to a wonderful future, not what happened.

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This time (yes I took him back for the second time silly me) I've been quite a lot better.. I've actually gone to work and seen my friends. So at least I'm not holed up in my bedroom. Just so frustrating to know I could be over this by now.. But just back to square one! This time last week he was all I love you blah blah.. Now nothing. Life is weird

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You are going to go thru a whole mixed bag of emotions, one min you are happy the next you are crying, your emotions are going to be swinging freely. Dont worry, it happens to all of us. But if you keep busy, rely on friends, eat, sleep, stay active and know that you are okay then youll see your emotions will swing less and less. Im sorry that its over, Im sorry you feel this way but its for the best, this is a good thing. Your life now has room for someone better.

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Hey, I'm sorry you're going through a hard time. That's just what it is though and you need to remember that. Time. It will pass and you will be happy again.

 

I think things get gradually better as time goes along. I spent everyday crying like a woman on the edge for a good 1-2 months at the start of my last break up (but my ex was an abusive douche who purposely wanted to make me feel bad about myself, especially at the end...). However, I was sort of obsessing over what went wrong for about 3 months...went straight to a counsellor and lost 2 stone, etc, I was that bad. And I'd say I started to feel more "separate" from him about 5 months later and after I'd slept with someone else. But do you know what I couldn't tell you when I started to be indifferent to him and not think about him at all...because it sneaks up on you, it doesn't come in one sudden moment generally I would say.

 

It will help that your ex sounds bad as well, because if they were worth holding onto that sort of saddness can linger more I think. If they treated you badly you can forget them and move on a lot easier.

 

It's funny, because when I think back to how I was when I was with my break up it was quite honestly one of the worst times in my life and I am nothing like that person now. That will happen to you sooner than you know.

 

My advice is definitely for you to get out and be social and to pursue your dreams/projects...just throw yourself into life, don't be scared about doing it alone wither, because you'll meet people in a second and you won't be alone soon.

 

Good luck

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