He broke it off twice and it really is over this time.

[Yostina]

Hey guys, it's going to be a bit long so please bear with me.

 

Me and my ex were in a LDR for a year.

We were together for the first 5.5 months then away for the rest of it.

We loved each other crazily, made a lot of plans on how to make this relationship work in the future and even considered getting married because we thought we belonged to each other and were meant to be.

We had a lot of fight because of his crazy jealousy and selfishness. He wouldn't let me have guy friends or hang out with him, but for him it is normal and I should not make a problem about it, but I've never settled for him and told him that if he doesn't like something then he also should not do it.

Sometimes because of his insane anger and jealousy he would break up and come back at the same time! This happened several times, but I never took them seriously, my mistake I know, but I was in love.

With distance things got harder and his personality never helped at all. He even made jealousy stories from there out of nothing and it's all because of Instagram. He was supposed to visit me, but he wasted his money buying a bike! Then we decided to meet this summer, but that was the time when he first broke up. Once I sent him a picture of me going out with my friends for dinner, I was wearing a chic dress, he went nuts! He said why are you wearing like that you must be dating a guy. I politely explained I was hanging out with my friends for dinner only, but he wouldn't answer me or says I'm busy. I let him alone and we haven't talked for 3 days, then I woke up to his breakup message saying he doesn't see a future for us, how long will we stay long distanced, he said I'm young and beautiful I deserve emotional love and he wouldn't let me wait all those years for him. He said he loved me so much and will never forget me and he is lucky to meet me and whenever I came to his country or close I tell him. I tried to talk to him twice he ignored and avoided. I sent him a message about my feelings and broke it off too.

1 week later he posts a picture with a girl. I knew she was his colleague at the university, but looked like a couple and he never posts pictures like that never! Plus friends can be lovers. He broke my heart, I blocked him he text me you blocked me you forgot me, I said you blocked me out of your life.

2 weeks more, I couldn't handle not getting an explanation or closure so I asked him to call. We talked, but no vain. He said I'm used to living without you, he said so many hurtful things and later hung up saying I surrender.

2.5 weeks later he text me I miss you like crazy and sometimes everything is not what it seems can we make up our minds.

He said he is so regretful, realized my value, he said he was so angry at himself and he is a criminal and didn't know why he did that, that he is so different and determined now and will do his best to make me happy. He was preparing to visit me, 'cause I told him I would give him the chance to prove himself by actions 'cause I don't trust him anymore. Told him you should come so we can meet and see how we fix this face to face this is the only way. He agreed and seemed so excited.

10 days later, he asked me to add him again on Instagram. We added each other then he saw a picture of me with my gym friends, 2 girls 1 guy but he hates this guy and even told me to break my friendship with him and he blocked him from my Instagram before, and saw a comment of my friend on my picture he posted hearts and I posted hearts back, he lost his mind when he saw these two stupid things, blocked me and broke it off right away telling me that's enough go to hell! After a week I sent him a message not justifying but explained the situation, but never asked him to come back I just broke it off at the end. He never replied.

A month later I saw his Instagram and twitter, found out he is searching for girls (AND in fact the first time he broke up I noticed this behavior too and when I asked him he said I don't know what you mean maybe by mistake, but then again he acted the same after the second breakup which means he lied and I actually didn't believe him, but just kept it aside for awhile). Also, I saw a comment of a girl saying that she wants him and actually she is not new I mean she was in his twitter months back when we were fine together. But judging from his following to random girls during the first break up and the second break up TOO then this girls comment and remembering the way he crazily regretted leaving me for the first time, I assumed he already cheated on me before and when he saw something that he could take it against me to relieve his guilt he accused me of not being faithful too. I caught so many lies with time.

I messaged him after I reached this conclusion, told him he cheated and lied and just wanted to remove this guilt by trying to make me look bad so he looks good! He denied. We texted several times on and off until yesterday he insulted me with the B word and the N word, (we are an interracial couple), blocked me from whatsapp and Instagram. I sent him my last message from a different number, telling him that nothing is weaker or smaller than someone who insults a woman, he loved and wanted. Told him he lacks morals and upbringing and needs to learn to be a human before calling himself a man, that he is sick pathetic person with an ugly heart and no conscience. I said I don't care about him at all anymore and I'm living peacefully now so stay away. I so polite and so cool even smiled telling him God bless you and that was it.

He never insulted me with these two words ever before. Never was an issue, he just seems to not have any other way to hurt me 'cause I've been acting strong and my words were stronger than his lies, he thought this is the only way to get under my skin. The funny thing is long time when we were together, I told him you are a racist jokingly, he got mad said don't talk to me how could you say this to me, he said he is a member of an anti-racism community at Uni

and he wonders how people can be racist! LOL Every damn thing he said was a lie...

 

My question, do you think he cheated that's why he acted how he did?

Will he ever regret it? I wouldn't ever take him back, but him coming back will be the only way to know if he realized him mistake. The hurt he caused was just too deep made me suffer for months. I can't believe people like that can get away with their bad behaviors without realizing it or apologizing even if it will take months or years.

Do people come back after such bad breakups and bad words? I need to hear stories similar to that.

I feel like even if I move on, I wouldn't be able to get over the fact that he hurt me to this level after all what we shared unless one day I know he regrets it.

 

Sorry for the long story, please share your opinions.

 

 

Regards,

[Yostina]

Anyone? I'm disappointed

[mhowe]

I think he isn't the man you thought he was.

 

Yes, he likely cheated.

 

No, he will not regret it nor feel remorse. Best to put this behind you.

[Yostina]

I think he isn't the man you thought he was.

 

Yes, he likely cheated.

 

No, he will not regret it nor feel remorse. Best to put this behind you.

 

 

But why would he not feel regretful over time? Regardless of everything happened, I still thought we shared a love bond wouldn't that awaken him at all? Feels sad that I've wasted all of my feelings and energy for such a person in this case.

[mhowe]

You are asking why someone with no conscience won't feel remorse or regret. If he were capable of feeling those things, he likely wouldn't be capable of cheating.

 

You did share a love bond. It just was for a short time. You didn't waste your feelings or energy. You got something out of it for a while.