i did something bad but....

[dimp62003]

k my b/f and me have been going out for over a year and half almost 2 years and this weekend he went to strip club for the first time b/c his friends wanted him to go and i got upset b/c i didnt want him to go. i just didnt think that it was right that he HAD to go watch naked chicks shake their "stuff" on him. so like i feel like i dont look good enough for him and that there is something wrong with me that he had to go to a strip club.

so ok i was very mad at him and i just said well if he's going to go out and have fun then so am i...so i called up one of my guy friends who i hadn't hung out with for a very long time and we hung out and everything and i kinda got caught up in the moment and we did stuff and now i regret but i really dont b/c im sick of being crapped on cuz his friends are so much more important than i am anymore.

i want to be with him but im sick of getting crapped on just cuz of his friends and i just dont know what to do b/c i kinda really like and starting to love my friend and he really likes me too and like we have known each other for 4 years now and we went out for like 2 weeks once and then we just decided to be friends and we have fooled around these 4 years exepct for like a year or so but like a year ago he told me that he loved me. and that just keeps going thru my head

 

but i need some help and fast so please somebody help me

[RockG]

My advice is dump your boyfriend and try it with your friend... if he said he loved you not long ago.. he still does, and you and him go way back, and feel good around eachother go for the guy you like the most, and go for the guy you want to be with.... and have fun!!!

[DN]

There is a big difference going to a strip club and actually cheating. One is fantasy, one is reality.

 

Decide what you want, or at least who you want. You're post shows you are totally confused about those issues. You could probably use some time to think before you make any decisions.

 

No matter how bad someone makes you feel, cheating is never right, and it is not a valid excuse. You would not like it if someone did that to you.

[lady00]

i don't think going to a strip club is equivalent to cheating on someone...sounds like you hooked up with your guy friend in order to get back at your bf in some way. That's probably not the best way to find out if you and your guy friend are really meant for each other because you had other motivations. I would take a break from both guys so you can really think about what you want. It seems like you're really angry at your bf and that there isn't trust in your relationship...because you don't trust him to go to a strip club and he may trust you but he shouldn't seeing as you've just cheated on him so you might want to think about that. Don't rush from one man into the arms of another...really think about what you want and if your friend is it then its best to take things slowly. good luck.

[sisterlynch]

You are free to do what you want just like your (ex) boyfriend is...if he is able to go out and choose his friends over you then so are you....go for it.

 

Do what you want.

[sisterlynch]

There is a big difference going to a strip club and actually cheating. One is fantasy, one is reality.

 

Decide what you want, or at least who you want. You're post shows you are totally confused about those issues. You could probably use some time to think before you make any decisions.

 

No matter how bad someone makes you feel, cheating is never right, and it is not a valid excuse. You would not like it if someone did that to you.

 

For a seventeen year old person, she cant go to a strip club, so if her bf does this, then it could in fact seem like a very big betrayal if she isn't right with him just looking. Cheating is necessary to equal out the boy's motivations, if he has never really felt that sense of betrayal, then he doesn't have anything to loose, and can walk out the door when he pleases. If she treats him to his own business, then he will know how it feels, if he doesn't already.

 

Men are visual learners, right? Women are emotional learners? Can we agree with that? She has the right to do what she wants. He can't really do or say anything...really, could he?

 

Besides there are back rooms where he could conceivably have done the same thing with a total stranger as she does with her friend.

[sonjam]

Dimp posted on here before her BF went to the stripclub, and she got alot of good advice about how to handle the situation.

 

Looking back now, I think she was looking for an excuse to be with this friend of hers.

 

Oh well, I'm not here to judge, it just gets on my neves sometimes, if people look for help, and they cant be honest about it. I would rather help somebody with REAL problems, than to have to try and make a 17 year old feel better about wrong choices she consciously makes, and then try to validate them against us.

 

Being spitefull and hooking up with a "friend" after everyone told her that her bf's behaviour is normal, well, what can I say.

 

Any advice on the matter?? Obviously go with the friend, what's left of the relationship with the BF is hardy worth persuing. He would be better of with sombody else, and Dimp.. you are answering your own question, you say you have feelings for your friend. So there's you answer.

[Mun]

You don't have any GIRL friends you can hang out with?Honestly, you shouldn't expect a boy to be with you 100% of the time. You need to have your own friends to do stuff with too--don't give those up. That's a big mistake. But...

 

I think what you did doesn't take away the fact your boyfriend went out to a strip club or did it make you feel better?

[San123]

Maybe I'm crazy but I though going to a strip club is something all boys do at least once. Its not that big of a deal to me. ESPECIALLY since he was honest about where he was going and hid nothing from you. I think your actions were uncalled for and cheating was unjustifiable... but you live you learn.

[Cecelius]

So it was a revenge hook up?

 

Some advice? Make sure this is one time event (the cheating), make sure the other guy doesn't tell anyone (trashed reputation for loyalty) and make sure you don't tell any future b/fs about this.

 

I'm not sure about the fairness of men going to strip clubs (never dated a girl who had low enough self esteem to have a real issue with it, but then I don't go to strip clubs) but I'm definitely sure of the fairness of cheating on your b/f.