Confused by Her Actions

[aderane2k]

I've had a friend for five years. When we first met, she wasn't available, but we maintained a friendship. We both really get along well, and share a ton of interests. We used to talk maybe once every month or so, but now things have changed completely.

 

About three months ago, the girl I had been dating and I made things official. We've been in a relationship ever since, and after that time, my friend has grown increasingly more talkative. We don't go a day without talking now, and it's usually about things she knows I'm interested in. On top of that, she's started asking me more for advice regarding guys, and telling me some of her horror stories. However, the times we've met in person, she's been very coy and flirty. We've shared more in the last two months than we had in the years prior. She's entrusting me with some belongings when she goes on vacation, she's inviting me out to parties with her (and at one of her parties, she exclusively pulled me aside and talked to me all night). She's wanting me to meet her friends. Most notably, she's wanting me to travel the world with her, because I'm in a professional crisis, as is she.

 

I won't lie; in these last few years, I've only grown to like her more, but I'm afraid to "ruin" our friendship on account of my feelings. Now I'm getting a feeling like this has grown on her end too, but I can't guarantee that it's not just increased friendliness.

 

The other problem is my feelings towards girlfriend. She and I got together very quickly, and never in our relationship have I felt the "need" to be with her at all times like I have in the past. It's been very natural feeling, but I just feel like it's never had a honeymoon. I should want to see her as often as I can, right? The problem is I don't, and that scares me.

 

So I guess my question is this: Does it sound like my friend views me in a different light? If so, and I'm not sold on my current relationship, should I take that chance? I'm so torn, because I'm actually happy in my relationship, I just feel like it's missing something, and I'm getting serious vibes from someone whom I've built a substantial history with and find immensely stimulating and attractive.

[Clinton]

Whatever, but do your girlfriend a favor and break up with her because you really aren't into her.

 

And don't be one of those guys who waits to see if he can get the new girl before he dumps the old. That's a low class, trailer park move.

[mhowe]

Why are you with your gf?

[lookingforadv]

break up with your girlfriend and then you can ask those questions.

[catfeeder]

It makes no sense to position the friend to watch you grow disloyal to your GF, because that will only demo your capacity for disloyalty.

 

Regardless of how encouraging friend seems to be, I'd skip the idea of attempting a leapfrog move from one to the other. Instead, I'd free the GF to go find someone who's crazy about her. This will position you as legitimately approachable to the friend, and where that ends up is anyone's guess.

 

Sometimes ethical also means smart.