I've been rejected!

[sole]

Wlfpack it must suck to be a guy.

But it sucks to be a girl when you are waiting for a guy to ask you out.

 

I try befriending the guys before asking them out.

"If I'm at a party I will walk up to them (usually a guy I've met before), start a little small talk, find out a little about them, then very casually ask them out (not for dinner . . .)"

Maybe "known" would've been a better word than "met before."

[joe45]

hey sole why are u askin guys out aren't guys suppose to ask the gals out lol. i woule loveeeeeee it as a gal had to ask me out, great change

 

hehe i date you. what do u look like pic??

[sole]

hey sole why are u askin guys out aren't guys suppose to ask the gals out lol. i woule loveeeeeee it as a gal had to ask me out, great change

 

hehe i date you. what do u look like pic??

 

I thought guys are supposed to ask girls out. But everyone on the board said it was ok for girls to ask. So I reversed the roles. I guess that didn't work out either.

 

I'm not a monster or anything. I'm not gorgeous either. I guess I'm just average.

[asmodai]

Welcome to a guys world... sucks don't it??

 

Its nothing more than tradition that dictates that the guy must make the move on the girl. In my opinion theres no definate role either sex has to play in relationships- it comes down to the situation. You do what you feel comfortable in doing, if you're fronting up and asking these guys out than that's pretty confident! You're being straightforward and open, not playing games - alot of guys respect that-myself included. And tell you what, i'd be quite intriqued if a girl asked me out i dont think i would say no- i'd be flattered. I'd be genuinely impressed that this girl is impressed with me so much to go and challenge convention by asking ME out, instead of the other way round..

 

But i digress, we're always bombarded with this idea that we HAVE to have a partner, like somehow society doesn't accept singles, which only adds to the feeling that you really want to be in a relationship. I feel like this quite alot- which is a good thing because at least it makes you keep your eyes and ears open right?

 

But its no big deal- you're young. For me i've come to the conclusion to be a bit more selfish- go out and do things for myself. I'm single now, and sure i want a relationship, but i dont see why my life must revolve around other people. I'm working on making my own life before starting to live it- ie: getting the things done that i want to do for myself, see the world sorta thing, thats what being young's all about right?

[annie24]

Hi sole - frustrating, isn't it...? From what you described before, it sounds like you look better than average. But, looks aren't everything. Haven't you ever seen cute guys with... umm... ugly-ish girls? But, I think these girls have something else, like really great personalities or a hilarious sense of humor. And then I've also had lots of attractive friends that couldn't get a single date! Crazy, huh...?

 

Maybe it's just "not your time" to meet the man of your dreams. How many times have you heard people say that the minute that they truly stopped looking, the person of their dreams found them?

[Outlaw2747]

I noticed that I get more attention to girls if I LEAVE THEM ALONE. Try and see if it works for the ladies. Pay men no mind and the next thing you know, the guy you always wanted (or close to him) will come your way. In fact, just do what you got to do and don't even think about guys. He shall come.

 

And Annie (who is always right ) is telling the truth. Notice guys with generally "unattractive" girls? Not all of us want looks ya know. I mean sure there has to be SOME sort of physical attraction but sometimes the personality is way more desired.

[sole]

Society makes it hard to be single. Even some friends and relatives keep asking about who I am dating. I don't want to get married right now. I'd just be happy to get more experience dating. Now, I'm jst annoyed with the whole challenge of trying to enter a relationship and I just want to back away from the whole idea for a while.

Asmodai -I like what you said about doing what I want to do first and thinking about a relationship when I've accomplished what I've wanted.

Anne24- My friends tell me that all of the time. But I'm still letdown when THEY date and have fun without the intention of getting into something serious. But I admit, I'm very shy and a bit of an idealist. I like guys who fit my idea of what makes a guy great and who I don't have to change. So, that wipes out many guys and my chances at dating casually. But it wouldn't shock me if I met an awesome guy when I stopped looking and eventually married him without having a lot of experience dating. Would I be happy with that idea? I don't know.The media says I shouldn't, but I need to accept it anyway.

Outlaw2747- I'm taking your advice now. I'M LEAVING THEM ALONE.

But I started this plan last week and I caught guys staring at me and flirting with me again. But I just brushed it off since I pledged to push guys out of my mind. So I guess ignoring them really works.

WHY does THAT happen?

[CptKipling]

I didn't read most of this thread (sorry), but I just thought I would say that maybe he thought that you asking him out was weird and and little full on.

[annie24]

he he he... why does that happen? I don't know. But, I think it happens for the same reason as when you finally have a serious boyfriend, no less than 17 guys ask you out per week.

 

Don't worry too much about it Sole. My family's been starting to get on my case now too for being single! My mom's quote: "Just pick a guy and marry him! Don't bother getting to know him! You never know what a man's like until your married to him anyways! Marriage is a lottery!!!"

 

Yeah... thanks mom, but I think I won't try the "random guess" method when it comes to picking my life partner.

 

Geeezzz... I've hit that age where all of my friends seem to be coupling off and some have even gotten married! And one has even gotten divorced!

 

I've noticed that in the late 20s, there's this "wave" of marriages, and then about 6-7 years later, there's this "wave" of divorces. Don't worry if you don't get on that first wave right away - there's other ones waiting out there.

 

You want to find someone who's right for you and loves all your little quirks. Not just anyone. Don't worry about what your friends are up to. You don't know what their relationships are like on the inside. They may not be very much to be jealous of.

[sole]

LOL. "Marriage is a lottery." I wouldn't want to keep buying losing tickets.

Now I don't feel so bad since I know there are others who are hassled by their families about finding someone, too. My mom never pressured me. But now she's dropping subtle hints. At least they're more subtle than other relatives.

 

I guess there's no harm in being very selective. Thanks for the words of optimism Annie24!! When you're rejected it's hard to feel good about yourself and stay optimistic. And then others come along (like everyone on the board) and get me to see things I would've missed if I stayed focused on my own misery.

[Jimbo10]

Don't ever feel worthless, and don't ever loose your self respect, ever in your life.

 

So ONE guy turned you down. Obviously you didn't know him as well as you thought you did. He's probably not the person who you thought he was through observing, and overhearing him in the past.

 

That means you better off without him. Don't worry, there's someone for everyone.

[DropToZero]

I didn't really take time to read all 8 pages...but for the original post...this is what I'd have to say.

 

Do NOT take REJECTIONS PERSONALLY!! NEVER!!

 

Every person in this world is different, everyone has their own opinions, minds, and ideas of attraction. Not every guy you like is going to be attracted to you...and vice versa. One guy may not like blonds girls that are taller than him, or too short, or color hair....and I know these are just outward appearances and traits, but they usually are what base the first ideas of attraction before getting to know someone. Just don't take it personally...everyone's different.

[sweetapples]

I know I have a good personality and I'm not ugly because I catch guys checking me out. I've had more rejections than acceptions. But now I can't take any more rejections!

 

Hey it's alright. You get a few acceptions sometimes right?

You doing way better than lots of people. I get rejected everytime, now I feel nothing when I get rejected. When it happens so many times you build up an immunity.

[annie24]

I very much agree with you Monetlisa! No, I will not listen to my mother and marry the first guy who asks. Actually.... if I did, I geniunely think I would have been divorced by now.

 

It's funny - my dad didn't get married until he was 48. He saw my mom, and it was love at first sight. They got married 6 weeks later. My mom was 36 and it was her second marriage. Her first marriage was at 21, and they divorced 6 years later. I always bring that fact up to her whenever she pressures me.

[sole]

I followed everyones advice and my confidence went up a little more. I stopped looking too hard for a bf. I think I will post an update to my original post. Because . . .

[Caldus]

Hey sole, glad to hear your confidence was boosted a little there. Soon enough you will have someone new. Don't act too desperate and take it easy.