its making me hate everything and my friend

[wantTOkillMYSELF]

I have this friend and things are starting to get hard for me. He let me reach my hand up his shirt and feel his chest and stomach and stuff and he said he liked it. Now I wanna see him and compare our *beeps* but he wont. It is making me hate myself becuz i really want to and now im acting weird becuz he wont do it. I have a lot of problems with being straight or gay issue anyways, and thought this would help me, now i feel like i'll never know if i am or not and i dont want to lose my best friend over htis. He almost compared with me b4 but now he says he never will not in 101287871 years. I want to die..... help....

 

oh, and i put this in this section because i figure it had to do more with "gay" then anything else, i dont want to kill myself... i just feel like its the end of the world and want out of all this misery.

[DN]

Don't kill yourself. That would be an irreversible error.

 

Don't put your friend under pressure either. He has his own stuff to work out.

 

See a counsellor at school and explain your feelings and confusion. He/she will be able to help, or if not, find someone who will. They are trained not to be judgemental but to help you.

 

It is not abnormal to have these feelings of confusion, you just need some help to get them sorted out. It may take a while but you will get there and be more comfortable with who you are.

[bull]

dude! dont kill urself!

[bull]

and dont hate ur friend

[skwshyone]

Dear wantTOkillMYSELF,

 

First of all, absolutely positively seek help with a counselor as DN has stated. If you don't trust your school counselors there are anonymous hotlines you can call, they are usually available in your hometown yellow pages or for the nearest large city to you. Don't kill yourself over some confusion or frustration that in twenty years from now will not seem as important as it does at this moment in time. Get some help, you're not alone in going through the confusion of puberty, which is what I truly think is probably your biggest issue right now. Knowing what your sexual orientation is and truly understanding it may not even fully be realized until your body has quit going through the hormonal changes and upheaval it's going through right now. So my advice to you is wait, you are very young to be worrying about whether you are gay or not. When the time is right, you will know and you won't lose friends over it. At least not true friends, true friends who accept you for who you are and your inner potential for being a marvelous human being. Third, regarding your friends reaction, it sounds very important to you that he be your friend whether or not you are fooling around. So, put your friendship first and just be friends. You have the rest of your life to figure out the sexual aspect of you.

I'm sorry that you are hurting. If you need to talk I'm a good listener. Keep us updated. Heres a hug to remind you you're not alone. {{{{wantTOkillMYSELF}}}}

 

Skwshyone = Squishyone

[chblueguy]

This a very unfortunate situation for you. I think what you are feeling is a combination of rejection and sexual identity crisis. Please believe me when I tell you that you are not the only one who has these feelings. Lots more people have them then they'd like to admit, TRUST ME. I know you're friend said he would compare body parts with you, but some guys just think that someone, who ever it may be, is watching over them or that somehow people will find out about whatever they're doing.

 

I think you should talk to someone, whether it be a counselor or a really close friend, and get some advice about this. Sexuality is so fluid that I honestly believe that straight is a mirage in the desert of sexuality. But more important than that, talk it over with someone you can trust really well, and I hope things work out for you.

[Mike_Wazowski]

Bro.....Your 13 yrs old for crying out loud! You should be more concerned about sports, getting in trouble, egging windows, then worrying about being Gay or not....Dude....if you wanna experiment sexually....I'd advise you to go after DA Ladies......God..nothing is better than resting your head on a girls lap as she runs her hands through your hair......Heaven!

[wantTOkillMYSELF]

soryr, i probably should have made my own name but the only reason I even came to this site was because of my brother, he's sort of knows about my problem just a little, i asked him if he ever felt like doing some of these things, he is 13 and i am 15.

 

so there, im 15.

[NotGay,Really]

I'm sorry you are going through such misery. (And why don't you create your own screen name here? "wantTOkillMYSELF" sounds so scary!)

 

Really, really don't get too worried about whether you are gay or straight. There will be plenty of time to deal with that for the rest of your life. Sex is a lot more than being gay or straight. It's about forming relationships and dealing with other people.

 

It's good that you are concerned about your friendship. Do you have several friends? Any you can completely trust? If so, talk to them. If not-- go out and get some. I know that sounds easy to say. But it's really important.

 

If this is causing you pain, by all means get some professional help.

 

I hope you will be happy.

[James_533]

Hi. I have felt the same way that u do now but I had help with my issuses. Ending your life is not worth it. U are only 13 and have so much to learn and new experiances to enjoy. Sure u want a relationship now but when u are older that is when the true happiness come into play. Not only because u can do more but also because u are free within the laws of your country to do whatever u want. Also at the aaage of 13 u are dealing with a huge change in yourlife and so your sexual orientation is not yet fully developed.

I had my first sexual experiance when I was 16 and no wI wish that I had waited so that I could have done alll of it for the first time with him. but alas life is not like that and I gave in to my horniness and through that away for a "quckie" and now I regret that.

I suppose what I am saying is to be patient let your body and his develop and just don't go and do anything taht would ruin your relationship with your friend. and boy do I have a story for u about just about losing a friend on this veery subject that u would probably appreciate. so I may very well send it to. let me know if this has been of some help.

 

Good Luck and may life treaat u kindly in the future 2228