Should I pursue a new friend?

[whitwhit]

I just moved to China and made a new friend. I like this friend very much. He's quite handsome, and has nice qualities. But I don't know him very well, but I want to. Not certain if there is potential for a relationship, but there is a good chance there is. We get along well, and its very nice to have someone I can practice my Spanish with (he's from South America).

 

I also find myself also physically attracted to him, and I would like to scratch the itch. Its been a while since I've been with someone and I do feel quite alone here, not speaking Chinese yet.

 

Should I go for it, and risk loosing one of my few new friends? He isn't the ONLY person I know here, so if I do mess things up, it wouldn't be the end of the world (not that I want things to go sour, but acknowledge that they could). Or should I hold back and see where things lie in a few months?

 

Keep in mind though, the dating pool is very shallow where I live (for me not for him), because of the language barrier. And who knows if I'll have the opportunity to pursue him in a few months. Statistically, Chinese women speak foreign languages here more than Chinese men. Sounds silly, but its really true. There are only so many straight male english (or Spanish or Japanese) speakers in my city.

 

(I speak Spanish and Japanese).

[Sportster2005]

I always try to date women I meet that interest me. It might be a fundamental difference between men and women. I figure I can always make friends. Finding that connection is rare, and I act on it. You're mileage may vary.

[catfeeder]

I would skip the 'scratch an itch' approach. That sets you up as disposable, and it's awfully early in your travels to downgrade an attraction to that--and to downgrade yourself as nothing more than that.

 

I'd work on building a great connection and see if you can both go the route of valuing one another instead of trying to manipulate casual into something more. That's how things go bad--a lack of confidence causes one or both people to avoid the discomfort of establishing whether you're both on the same page. So things go sexual with nothing more gorunding that miscommunication or assumptions. Uhm...that's not smart.

 

Value yourself with new guy, and he will value you, too.