Kah310392 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I'm struggling with the no contact rule feel my fingers itching to send a message even though I know he probably won't read it. Any suggestions to help? Link to comment
bugatti Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Try to imagine his flaws. Something that makes you sick about him, something disgusting... And finally - if you send message and you won't get reply - how will you feel? Good? I don't think so Put yourself first. Link to comment
Nevermore31 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I'm struggling with the no contact rule feel my fingers itching to send a message even though I know he probably won't read it. Any suggestions to help? When you text him does he ever reply?! or does he completely ignores you?! Link to comment
Mack15 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 How long have you been doing "no contact"? It is really hard. I know, I'm doing it now. I try to keep in mind that what she really needs more than anything is some space to get herself straight. Try thinking about that. The hard part for you (and me) is that we what answers, we want to make it better, we want to know SOMETHING! Because we are confused and lost and feel alone. I started a journal, which helps. Whenever I want to tell her something, I write it in the journal instead. I've also got some friends that I text instead of her just so I have someone to vent to. If you are doing NC for a set amount of time, maybe circle that day on the calendar so you know that this won't necessarily last forever. Link to comment
tallydoo Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I agree, a journal is really helpful. I also have a 24-hour rule for breaking contact--if I want to send a message, I wait 24 hours and figure out if I still want to send it. 95% of the time, I don't. Link to comment
Kah310392 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Share Posted April 10, 2015 That's a good idea the 24hr rule. There's no set time I just dont wanna annoy him really and I'm only going to get upset what's the point in that Link to comment
Nevermore31 Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Well i think it all depends if your ex replies or not. For example for me when i text my ex (i know that i should't) she replies to me and answer my questions and talks to me but not as much. I am start going to stop talking to her because we all know there is no use of it. We won't hear what we want. So i am slowly backing off little by little. Before i used to text her 3-4 times a week. But these days i barely text her. I know it is truly this time to let go. Especially when there is nothing to talk about. Link to comment
Kah310392 Posted April 11, 2015 Author Share Posted April 11, 2015 No he doesn't reply tends to ignore me when he feels like it then replies when he wants to Link to comment
Graysfan Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 No he doesn't reply tends to ignore me when he feels like it then replies when he wants to Dont contact them. It will make you feel worse and the best thing i have learnt is just to give people space. and yourself. write a journal. I have written mine on a word document so i can see how differently i feel each day. Also, there is a thread on this website where you post on it when you feel like messaging them. There are loads of people doing it right now who are doing NC. Link to comment
R0sie Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 NC seems impossible I know, my ex has been blowing up my phone with I miss you, I'm sorry, don't do this...the usual BS. It's very hard not to reply Link to comment
Nevermore31 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 For how long have you been with him. and it is very odd an ex texting you that he misses you and all that. I don't know why did you guys break up but it might still have feelings for you.... i really don't know. But yeah not contacting him is a good way to go. Link to comment
Nevermore31 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Well yeah in that case not contacting him is the best for you. If he reaches out i would make it to the point and not talk much. I really don't know what is your situation with this Guy but it all depends on the relationship itself. I am not struggling with the no contact but the fact i miss her very much. Link to comment
summercool Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Try to imagine his flaws. Something that makes you sick about him, something disgusting... And finally - if you send message and you won't get reply - how will you feel? Good? I don't think so Put yourself first. I agree! You will only feel worse if you don't receive a response. Link to comment
Kah310392 Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 I did it after a drink last night and it was more hatred towards him I can't even remember what I said and I won't read them. It's the fact he's blamed me for our breakup but then changed his mind saying he didn't mean what he said but it's stuck in my head. I think I need to find something else to be able to write to if I want to contact him because I don't get a reply and it's horrible Link to comment
Nevermore31 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 I did it after a drink last night and it was more hatred towards him I can't even remember what I said and I won't read them. It's the fact he's blamed me for our breakup but then changed his mind saying he didn't mean what he said but it's stuck in my head. I think I need to find something else to be able to write to if I want to contact him because I don't get a reply and it's horrible So what did you text him when you were drinking? and what did he reply?! Link to comment
Kah310392 Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 So what did you text him when you were drinking? and what did he reply?! A lot of hatred because he's just cut me off like I'm nothing and I said that in the text. I've actually text this morning because I've let myself down by texting him really. He didn't reply but he never has credit on his phone to reply anyway but even if he had credit he wouldn't reply so I don't know why I bothered. Finding it very hard the last time he broke up with me I did very well and when he contacted me I was short and polite but didn't entertain him, but this time I'm not doing good but I think that's because we were good and there isn't a very good reason for his decision and he's played with my feelings. Link to comment
HeavenWings Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 What I do is I put it on my phone calendar when I start the NC. And then I also put in a due date e.g. 30 days later (extend when you get to due date. Until you no longer feel like you need it anymore). I think people are more willing to commit to something that will end eventually then something that seems like infinity. Also it also feels like I'm achieving something every time I mark down on my calendar that I was successful of my NC Link to comment
Nevermore31 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 A lot of hatred because he's just cut me off like I'm nothing and I said that in the text. I've actually text this morning because I've let myself down by texting him really. He didn't reply but he never has credit on his phone to reply anyway but even if he had credit he wouldn't reply so I don't know why I bothered. Finding it very hard the last time he broke up with me I did very well and when he contacted me I was short and polite but didn't entertain him, but this time I'm not doing good but I think that's because we were good and there isn't a very good reason for his decision and he's played with my feelings. The way i see it i know you are so hurt that he left you as you were nothing like you said. But when it comes to the Dumper he hates to talk about the break up because he/she get annoyed from guilt and sadness. They don't want to feel that. The best way to do it is not to talk about the relationship unless he mentioned it and calm yourself down if you talked to him. Let him contact you and try to disappear out of his life and let him wonder why haven't you texted him. That's the only think i can think of. People's feelings change from time to time..... It always has been like that! Link to comment
Kah310392 Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 His feelings change all of the time and that is the problem. It's like he gets bored thinks the grass is greener then comes back apologising and saying this that and the other. He plays with my feelings but then feels the need to blame me. No contact is the hardest thing for me! I get itchy thumbs wanting to text this, that and the other and I can't overcome the urge sometimes! Lol. I'm so drained and tired from it all at the minute though I haven't bothered since I text him when I was drunk. Link to comment
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