Dating a friend..?

[prettycutie]

Just curious, what are some opinions on this? I've always wanted to/wondered about dating an actual FRIEND (and not someone I've just 'known').

 

But then I wouldn't want to because it may be awkward and have "friend-zone" written all over it.

 

 

So...just curious about what some of you think about this topic....

[greta96]

I would never be able to date a friend, because if he was my friend in the true sense of the word, it would automatically imply no feelings of attraction, nothing romantic, and that would make dating impossible for me. Now if he was a "friend", someone i'd always felt I could be with, but wasn't due to circumstances (him having girlfriends for the duration of the friendship, or him not being interested in me that way, etc) then yes, I probably would date him if the chance presented itself.

So no, with strictly platonic friends, there's no way I'd be able to see them as anything but platonic friends.

[ParisPaulette]

Once you date said friend they are no longer just a friend. You cannot go back to what it was before UNLESS you both agree mutually and really mean it that you are better off as friends. I know of this working in only one occasion--a woman my husband dated after they'd been friends. They broke up since neither one of them was really feeling it as lovers and went back to being friends.

 

Of course, she is an absolutely awesome lady and my friend now too, so I can't blame him a bit for staying friends with her. But that's an exception the rule. It never worked for me (tried it twice) and it never worked for anyone else I know. It can work, but it's iffy.

 

You will probably have to have a talk ahead of time and address what happens if you both break up. On the other hand dating someone who is your friend is awesome and really, I can't recommend anything but that you always be friends with whoever you have a romantic relationship with.

 

I think you're going to have to try this one out and see if it works for you. Good luck however it goes.

[BingYu]

Once you date said friend they are no longer just a friend. You cannot go back to what it was before UNLESS you both agree mutually and really mean it that you are better off as friends.

 

You will probably have to have a talk ahead of time and address what happens if you both break up. On the other hand dating someone who is your friend is awesome and really, I can't recommend anything but that you always be friends with whoever you have a romantic relationship with.

 

I think that this would be the best advice out there you could receive.

 

Each relationship is different, so there's no general "right answer" for all relationships. It could work, but it could not.

 

I for one, had a potential with a long-time friend who I had been close to since I was 13, til now, that I'm 22. We'd always talk to each other about our crushes, our problems, our joys, and often talk about a lot of our individual lives together and in some sense supported each other through it. Though we did have some distance at times, especially when the girl I'm talking about started dating someone, we had always respected our boundaries and it was because of that, that we were good friends. In saying that though, when she did date other guys I at times felt a little jealous, and at times did talk to others about it so I knew that somewhere inside of me there was a little bit of feeling. After she broke up with her last ex (her second one - I had dated slightly more than her), she came to me for consolation, and so we went out for dinner - to others, probably seen as a date. I reckon at that time it was probably an opportunity for me to pursue something romantic with her because we were both vulnerable, but I decided not to. It's been a year now, and she's moved to the east coast and is building her life over there and is pretty stable, so I decided to talk to her a little bit about what I felt and whether she thought there WAS any real potential, but she felt that she couldn't imagine us romantically together. I agreed with all my gut - acknowledging everything I felt then and now - and decided we should just keep things that way.

 

^Story of my life. All the best with yours whatever you do. Just know, true friends will be by your side either way. Your gut will tell you whether you're serious about pursuing this and taking the risk emotionally and all or not. Believe in yourself whichever you choose, mate! GL

[Misskitty16]

I think dating a friend could be the start of a wonderful relationship. But you need to be ready to accept that once you do down that road and it doesn't work out, the friendship will never be the same.