Js_Sol Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Has anyone had this issue? In a relationship and we both know it's not going anywhere. We truly love each other but the differences between us make our lives miserable to be together, yet we can't stand to be apart. Everytime we're together we fight, but when we are apart for even a day, we go crazy. Any insight on this, anyway to break the spell? If not, any suggestions on how to make it work better? I'm leaving most of the details out but as the replies come, I'll say something if it's relevant. PS: been together 4 years. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 What did you guys discuss that led you two to believe its not going anywhere? Link to comment
Js_Sol Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 What did you guys discuss that led you two to believe its not going anywhere? It's our known differences. For example, I'm a militant atheist, she's a "tell it on the mountain" christian. She knows she will never have someone that wants to attend church with her if she stays with me. We are very opposite, she loves TV, I hate it. I like a clean place, she doesn't care (nor help clean that often). She loves country music, I hate country music. (these are all just small things but there are hundreds of other some bigger than others). Couples are generally hit or miss on having things in common but we strike out on everything. We also have very different goals. I'm more interested in settling down, buying a house, etc.... She wants to party more right now, I'm kind of boring to her. Thank you for the thought provoking question! Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 If you both are in complete agreement then it's sort of damned if you do or don't stay together. If you part ways though EVENTUALLY you will get somewhat over it and could find somebody new. If you can't work these things out and accept each other after four years then you're gonna be unhappy and that isn't fair to either if you. Link to comment
Willywagtail Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Maybe disengage slowly. You don't have to just cut it off. Start by talking less often, then seeing each other less often. Fill up the 'spare' time with friends or other activities. I really don't know, but it's what you guys feel comfortable with. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 If you're miserable when together and miserable apart, decide which misery will eventually correct itself and offer the most benefit in the end. Think in terms of 'outcome' and shoot for that, no matter how difficult. Link to comment
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