Having doubts about my relationship. Are these feelings real?

[steveyjohn321]

Hello,

 

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for around four months. Things have been fun. We've hung out a lot and we always have good times and good conversations. We care about each other. The sex is good minus a couple minor complaints (ie she never takes charge, she just lays there, and I have to control everything all the time). For all intents and purposes we have a good relationship. We never fight. I have been more emotionally intimate with her than anyone else in my entire life and vice versa so I do care about her deeply. We treat each other very lovingly.

 

But lately these feelings have been creeping into my head that she isn't the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. But sometimes I think the opposite. These ideas are conflicting in my head. I can't figure out which feelings are the real ones? Also if I am going to stay with her I feel like I am betraying her having these thoughts and posting here.

 

Here is what gets to me a little bit and what is giving me doubts. I am a very, very nice and caring guy, but I am rough around the edges. I'm adventurous, I curse, I have no filter, I move to the beat of my own drum, I don't give a crap about rules, I'm not very conventional. While she on the other hand is very religious, follows every rule no matter how lame it is, is prim and proper,and not quite so adventurous. She is the most incredibly caring, good hearted, awesome person. She is a saint. She sometimes makes comments to "tame" me I guess you could say. This might make it seem like we are polar opposites, but we have very similar life stories and we "get" each other very, very much.

 

Right now my life is incredibly stressful. I have some serious medical issues which forced me to leave a career I loved and was very successful at. So I'm dealing with the medical stuff and looking for a new career. Are these stressors interfering with my thought process?

 

I need help untangling all this and would me most appreciative of anyone's advice or opinions. Am I being immature and whiny or should I follow these thoughts I'm having? Thank you in advance!

[ThatwasThen]

You seem to be too much in your own head instead of getting out of there (your head that is) and just enjoying what you have with her. I'd give it another while and if you're still having major doubts then call it a day.

[zebragirl]

I think it sounds like the other stresses being the change in career and medical problems are what instigated the unsettled feelings. I'd concentrate on getting settled and stable in those areas and not worry about changing things with your gf just yet. Then if you can take a close look at your relationship after things are better in those areas. Some to things come all at once and make us question life. It's not wrong but it's hard to focus on so many areas at once.

[Coldarmy13]

Sounds like you two are open with each other and both care about one another. Wheres the issue. Stress is normal if you like someone as much as you say you do.

 

Don't let your unrelated life stress get projected on your relationship. 4 months is still relatively new and you both seem like youre on the same page.