I'm going crazy and I feel so ugly inside....

[giggle3474]

I've had several incidents with my boyfriend where I've thought I've caught him lying but there was no way to prove it and so I have given him the benefit of the doubt.

 

We had a good conversation a couple of weeks ago and I can tell he has really tried to make things better. He has been pretty good about calling me when he says he will and keeping me more up to date on his days going-ons. I told him that I had noticed that he was being a lot more attentive to my needs and a lot more considerate and that I really appreciated it.

 

On two occasions over the past few days, he has done things that just aren't right and I can't understand it. Saturday morning he called me and told me, "it's a beautiful day and I want to spend it with my beautiful girl. Let's go to breakfast on the beach and spend the day as a couple." (he he how sweet and cheesy) So we went to breakfast and on the way back, he kept rubbing my leg and telling me he wanted me and stuff. I told him I felt the same way so he said he had to take care of some work stuff at a customer's house and he would meet me at his house a little later.

I called him when I was done with my errands and I left him a message. When he called me back, he said it was taking him a little longer than he thought it would and we would have to meet up later. I had other plans later so I told him I would call him. FOr some reason, I decided to drive to his house. I saw his car in the parking lot. I called him and left him a message, again. He called me back about 20 minutes later. I told him I was in the area and I was hoping he would be done working. He said he wasn't done yet. I told him not to lie to me. He said he was working but he was working at home. Ok whatever.... I don't know what an electrician can do from home.

 

The next day he called me in the morning again. I was out doing some shopping. He asked me if I wanted some company and I said yes so he met me where I was at. We spent a few hours just running around and again he tells me he wants me. It had been almost a week since we were intimate so I was more than ready too. Again we both had to go take care of other things. He had to do something on his car and go to a customers house, again. He called me about an hour later and said he was done working but he wanted to take a nap and he also needed to go check his PO box. He said he would call me later. I said I wanted to take a nap with him, he said I never sleep and he said he would call me after he went to his mailbox.

 

I went on with my errands and I planned it so that the last one would put me at a store that was about 3 miles from his house. I tried calling him when I was close to being done and I got his voicemail. I left him a message and he didn't call me back. I tried him 2 more times over the next hour. Because of what happened the day before, I decided to drive to his house again. He wasn't home. As I was leaving, I saw him rounding the corner. I called him and when he answered, I asked him if he was coming or going. Now I knew that he had just gotten home but he told me he was leaving. I told him I had left him a couple messages, he said he was sleeping. Sleeping where, I wonder because he obviously wasn't home. I didn't feel comfortable questioning him.

 

He invited me in and we went in his room and just watched TV. He kept telling me he wasn't feeling well and he was tired. ABout an hour and a half later, he told me he was going to bed and so I left. No sex AGAIN.

 

The next day while we were together, he told me he had a dream the we were living together. I told him jokingly that he was scaring me and then I said (again jokingly) that it would be perfect if we moved in together because I can't cook and he's a pro. He said he'd like that eventually....

 

The one thing I have left out until now is that while we were together on Sun, he left his day planner in my car. I know it's bad but I looked through it. I didn't find anything incriminating and I was about to put it away and then I noticed that behind one of his credit cards was the driver's license of some woman. She was very pretty. She was also very short and petite (not what he says is his type) AND the address on there showed that she lived in a city about 5 hours away from us. I decided at the time just to let it go. It seemed like it could've been innocent. But it's just eating at me now. I can't bring it up to him and have him know that I snooped but why was it there. I mean it was expired and the pic was 5 years old but the day planner is new so it's not like it could have just been left in there.

 

Now I just feel ugly inside. I feel anxious when I'm not with him but it makes my day when he calls. Last night we went out to dinner and he gave me his cell phone to hold the entire time because he was playing video games with my son. I didn't even look at the cell phone and he said later he didn't care if I would have. To me, the cell phone would be the 'tell-all' to this and the fact that he trusted me with it..... well I like to think it means he has nothing to hide, but I could be wrong.

 

I don't want to push him away. I have been a little clingly and emotional lately and I can't keep constantly questioning him. I'm trying to let loose a little and go with the flow because I either need to trust him or get out. But given the situations I've explained above, what am I supposed to think. I guess there could be a simple explanation but should there be a simple explanation for everything??

[liljen08]

It sounds obvious that you caught him lying but maybe in your mind you WANT to trust him and give him the benefit of the doubt because you love him?

 

Has he ever done anything to break your trust or is it that his constant flakey repetitive pattern makes you doubt his actions or words he tells you. All in all, I dont think you should let him or anybody let you feel ugly. That picture in his planner IS questionable. If you guys are a couple, he shouldnt have a picture of any other girls besides you. Perhaps its a cousin who passed away or someone really close but you dont know that.

 

For the holding cell phone, I would say in all he could be totally bluffing. Playing a reverse psychology effect on you, so you wont look if he says go ahead look. Alot of guys/girls play that trick.

 

Watch his actions closely, and if he is indeed lying or cheating on you, you will eventually find out. By then, you will be ready to move on.

[Luscious]

Whew. Thats alot to swallow but, it seems to me that something is definetly going on because his stories are not adding up. But like you said you have no solid proof, so you have to give him the benefit of the doubt. What I would suggest to you that whenever you question him about something don't give out any information that you already know. Ask him questions and let him answer you because when you give out info that you already know if he is lying he finds lies to cover himself and make you doubt what you know.

For example. His car being home when he said he was working.

You should of ask him what he had to do, in terms of fixing something then probably say if he couldn't have done it if you both were home together so yall could be killing two birds with one stone, that is hanging out and geting his work done. I just think you have to be a little bit tricky about the whole situation. You have think it through and think like they would so they wouldn't have no way to lie and their only way would be to tell the truth.

Hey, the sex thing, guys LOVE it, so if he is not getting it from you and is always tired he is probably getting it from somewhere else, especially if two times already he said he wanted you and nothing happened.

You don't wanna push him away but you also don't wanna close your eyes to the situation.

[Sim3a]

My gf did the same to me and it ended being that she was cheating one me, i would just let go and move on.

[Fif Angel]

This sounds really like my situation actually. On one hand he could be lying through his teeth but on the other there could be a perfectly innocent explanation for everything. I`m not sure there`s much you can do at the moment except keep an eye on him and see if there are any more weird incidents. As for the driver`s license- is there any way you could just bring it up in conversation? Casually mention that you stumbled accross it without sounding like your accusing him of anything and see what he says?

[Andy223]

If you want to find out exactly what hes doing, you need to understand exactly what hes already done. U can do this by analysing all of his steps and try to make a conclusion to what they all mean.

If he is cheating on you... you will find out eventually because he will leave clues behind. No matter how hard he tries, he will eventually be found out.

The fact that hes being really nice to you then withdrawing his plans does suggest that he is hiding something. You can be certain of that. Guys will make up excuses if they are trying to hide something.

It could be a phase that he is going through. Guys do do random things at times, and its usually for no particular reason at all

If he is cheating, then u will find out sooner or later.... until then keep cautious. Instead of saying to him... are you hiding something... instead try to put him on the spot.