Should I send him a message or not?

[opalmind]

Together for 3 years, split up for just over 2 months, NC for 1 of those months, and been speaking regulary for 6 days now.

We broke up over a stupid argument and bumped into each other a week ago and he started speaking to me again.

 

Now that I've thought about it I remember a week after the break up he tried to speak to me again, and he apologised for what happened on the night of the argument and I just ignored it because I was still very hurt by what had happened.

 

When I met him the other day he said that we'd still be together now if it wasn't for the argument that night and that he likes me but still hates me a little bit for what happened as he's sure I hate him a little bit too.

 

Remembering that he apologised even if it took him a week has made me able to forgive him completely and move on from it but I've been feeling so bad that I haven't apologised for my part in it that I've even been having nightmares about it.

 

We've been in regular contact for 6 days now, but we haven't spoken for the past day. I was going to send him a message, a paragraph or so (I can't seem to cut it any shorter) telling him that I'm sorry about what happened and thanking him for apologising, but I don't want to push him away. Do you think that sending the message would be a good idea or should I wait until I see him in person in 2 weeks time?

[relevart]

If you really want to repair the relationship, the worst idea is NOT to contact him. How about a phone call? You guys can take it slow. On the other hand, asking and giving forgiveness doesn't mean you guys have to pick up where you left off. It might be that both of you need closure. In tis case, I don't think NC is going to work short term.

[Clinton]

Send him the message. You seem to still be into each.other so if you want to repair the relationship you'll have to communicate.

 

Having said that if you broke up over an argument you have some definite issues with communication and commitment you need to fix. So if it looks like you can reconnect, you'll need ro work on that or you will be back at square one sooner than later.

[opalmind]

Thankyou both!

 

I'm going to start a conversation with him and apologise.

 

I don't want to pick up where we left off, though I do want to get back together with him, but this time I want a fresh start.

Yeah I agree we definitely need to work on how to handle arguments better.

[opalmind]

I messaged him and he took it better than I thought he would do. He said that it's fine, he just wished we could have fun that night at the gig instead of arguing, so I think he's still upset about it and isn't ready to forgive me completely for it yet. But I'm hoping he will be able to eventually.

 

Do you think there's anything more I could do?

[mhowe]

No. And he said it was fine --- so accept that. Do not keep hashing this over. Just learn from it.

[overthemoon86]

Nothing more to do, let him make the next move. You put your feelings out there so now it's time to see what he does.