Andy223 Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 At the moment, im trying to give one of my mates some decent advice on a situation hes having. He is unaware of this site, and i think he could do with some useful advice right about now. A lot of my mates are unsure what he should do next... He is particularly attracted to this girl. He sees her every day at school and they do talk to each other. However there is not a lot of communication between them both to indicate that they really really like each other. He has managed to get himself into a position, where he is giving her lifts into college and back. He rekons that she is not using him + He tells me that they both speak to each other in the car just fine. He likes her, but he is not sure the feeling is mutual. His only downfall tbh, is lack of confidence in trying to take their relationship further. They have been friends for a very long time now and his main fear is the loss of this friendship, if he takes it to the next level. Recently, he tried to speed up their relationship, by inviting her to the cinema / bowling / something to eat. He asked her as a friend and said it would be a social event etc. 2 days before they were gona meet up, she said that she had family coming round and has posponed it. Could she either lack the confidence, or does she generally not like him? What would be some useful advice to give him right now? Hes kind of a bit stuck! thanks for reading.. ta! Link to comment
sisterlynch Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 I think that he should just count her as a friend and nothing more. If she wanted to date him, then he would know by now. If he puts pressure on her, then she will most-likely reject him. She probably is more open with her emotions in the car, which keeps him coming back. I sense that it may mean more to him than to her. Link to comment
bzborow1 Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Yeah I agree with the lady on this one. It seems from my own experience that you need to establish your intentions from the get-go with a woman, you need to communicate in such a manner to make her feel attraction. Your friends shyness has probably hurt him with respect to this woman. In my view his chances are slim to none and that he should take this as a lesson to be more forward with the next one. That doesn't mean he shouldn't ask her out (for a date)...just that his chances are probably not so good. Link to comment
OceanEyes Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 You said that they've been friends for a long time. Why now, after all of this time, would she suddenly 'clue in' that he was interested in her as more than a friend? I don't get how anyone would consider this a case of her using him if they have always been friends in the first place. Just because he gives her rides, doesn't mean that she is automatically going to know that he's into her as 'more than a friend'. If he wants her to know that, he's probably going to have to make a bolder move. Link to comment
sisterlynch Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 With a romantic attraction there are a lot of emotions that are not available with someone that is a friend, so to speak. Moving forward with good intentions, is always respectable. With a friend, you end up sharing a lot that you maybe wouldn't if you were attracted to the person. Link to comment
cadracco Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 he can try flirting with her, if she avoids it then she probably doesnt like him, but if she plays along then maybe, but tell him not to take to the extend, like start small keep going until she relizes or something Link to comment
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