Guilty?

[ifeeltrapped]

So, I have a meeting with an attorney today after work to discuss the truck situation (for anyone who has been following my threads). I feel relief that I found someone to discuss the issue with me in legal terms, but I also feel guilt. I've always protected him -- from money problems, his own family coming down on him, and from everyone thinking he's bad. I always was the one standing strong for him. I feel like I'm betraying him, but I guess he betrayed me in so many ways. Yesterday was the first day I went the entire day since we broke up last Thursday without contacting him, but he did not contact me either. It felt good, yet it hurt because I knew that meant he's with someone else, needing them. But, that's their problem, right?

[1a1a]

Read all your threads and caught up. Ugh! Don't feel guilty, a Romantic partner is meant to be a partnership, not dead weight. He's done nothing but use you and lie to you since day one.

[greta96]

It may sound counter intuitive, but you are in fact helping him by "betraying" him. People (including his friends and his own parents) have good reasons for seeing him as bad, and they are 100% right. And, he's betrayed you from day one, when he asked you to co-sign his truck, knowing full well that he was setting up to use you - and not only where the truck was concerned. He didn't feel guilty for knowingly ruining your credit and putting financial strain on you, now did he?

 

By "standing up for him" and protecting him, you've done him a disservice. You enabled his lazy life, his spending habits, his drug use and who knows what else. This is a person who has to hit rock bottom to maybe, *maybe* realize that he's just wasting his life and that he has to work on himself and change. Which, I don't think will happen, because he seems content with his shady friends and his drugs, and with having whatever woman he happens to live with provide for him.

 

You should pity the next unsuspecting woman who has the misfortune to get entangled with him. And you should be proud of yourself for taking legal steps to fix your own situation. You need to realize that nothing about this dude has anything to do with love, it's all about who he can use, to secure himself a comfy living with the least amount of effort.

 

You'd be smart to just block him off your phone and be done with him for good. I just don't understand what about contacting this toxic moron is making you feel better?

[Willywagtail]

Great96 is soo right! People need to take responsibility for their actions and the consequences of these actions.

 

This is what we try to teach our children, right? He's not a child, he has NO excuse. This is his path in life, and you're not his mother.

 

Good on you for seeing a solicitor! That's a great first step.

 

Please, please stop contacting him. You will continue to be filled with doubt if you do, and he will worm his way back into your affections and your psyche.