A couple of questions about the Ladies

[69_king]

I've been looking through an online dating site recently, not really trying to find someone there any more (I think its better to do that in real life), but I'm interested in reading what the girls are looking for and how they describe themselves.

 

First of all, about 80% of them say the guy they are looking MUST have a good sense of humour. Now, I would say that is reasonably true about myself, but I want to know what that really means from a girl's perspective.

 

Another thing, so many of the girls say that they watch hockey and football and stuff like that. Are they just saying that to please the guys? Just hoping thats what the guys want to hear?? Personally, thats not something that attracts me, I'm not looking for a jocky girl. And I haven't known many girls who are like that.

 

Another thing, I try not to be intimidated but its hard to not feel a little inadequate when reading stuff like this (taken from someone's actual profile) :

 

I admire strong men!

I want a man who combines achievement with humility, who is mature, independent, ambitious, professional, intelligent, down-to-earth, compassionate, classy, attractive, and have a great sense of humor.

Sense of humor is a must!

Someone who can satisfy me emotionally and stimulate me intellectually.

 

Maybe this person is just really picky but I hope most girls are a little less demanding than that!! I would like to say they are but, even though I could say I meet about 75-80% of those criteria I haven't had very much success with my girlfriends.

[sisterlynch]

The problem with on line, anything, is that people don't have to tell the truth, in real-life they don't also, but it is much easier to lie knowing that you will never have to see the person and look them in the eyes.

 

Some people are exceedingly gullable and want to believe that what they read is real, when it isn't.

 

 

The girl who wrote that profile is probably looking for a handsome guy that is quiet and wont argue with her...get the point?

[emma34]

I definitely agree with that. The thing about watching football and all that. Well, personally I often wonder this myself. I don't really enjoy watching sports on TV, but if I'm with a group of ppl, I would pretend I am somewhat interested...I think a lot of girls pretend to be interested, or even force themselves to learn and become interested in it. Then of course some women actually DO like it - i'm not ruling that out...but this is what i think anyway. The thing about online dating descriptions and stuff, when it says describe what kind of person your looking for, basically your can be as picky as you want. Your not gonna say, 'well i'm not picky,' because if they're serious about findign someone for life...they're gonna be as specific as they can, although, I agree with what the person above said that it can basically be broken down fairly easily.

[ShySoul]

With profiles like that people can say anything they want. Some will use it as an opportunity to list every attractive quality they can think of, sort of like they are dreaming about meeting Prince Charming. Everything that person listed are qualities that most people want in their potential partner. But listing them all down like that can come off as picky and demanding. She may be picky or she may be speaking about her dream date, you can't really tell online. That's one of the problems I have with online dating, you never know who you are really talking to.

 

I'm not a girl, but I think that the sense of humor would vary from girl to girl. Humor isn't the same for each person as we all find different things amusing. I think it generally means someone that will make them laugh and smile, someone who they can have a good time with.

 

For the sports, again it varies. Some may actually like sports that much. Others may be writing it in the hopes of getting guys' attention. I've actually seen articles and sites on how to make your online profile more attractive to people. There are those who will put something that's not true just to get people's attention. Really, I think it can be a guessing game. You have to pick out the profiles that sound like a good match and then hope for the best.

[RayKay]

Online dating "allows" you to be picky and specific in what you are looking for because you have not yet met the person physically yet you can basically "refine" what you are looking for. Women (and men) can both sound very picky when they are writing their profiles online but that does not necessarily mean that EVERY quality must be satisfied when you reply to them....it's just a way of narrowing down the amount of men out there who are going to reply to them (as a woman, you get a lot of replies from guys who do not have the same intentions in mind) in order to limit whom they meet. And it does screen out those you don't want to meet, which I guess is the purpose in order to find someone to meet that does have the qualities you find attractive. And, if you are looking for a possible relationship, why not be specific?

 

Sometimes it can be frustrating as there are people on there who seem to be writing out the specifications as if they were buying a new vehicle, and there are people who are rather idealistic and figure unless all those specs are met, you are not for them. Many though just use them as a starting point to talking to you and other aspects of who you are might appeal to them and their list is less "important". However, telling people what you are looking for also gives them a good idea of your own traits I think.

 

As for the sports thing, possible they put it to get guys attention, or they really do like it. I know in my profiles in the past I have made sure I let my athletic interests be known, not to get interest from them, but to illustrate my lifestyle and to let them know that it is an important part of my life that they should understand, and hopefully then they share similar interests in that respect too. I though would not put "I like watching football" but rather "I am a competitive athlete participating in road/mountain biking and other outdoor pursuits and training is an important aspect of my life, I also like to rock climb, work out...". You get the idea. So I guess that might be different.

 

Sense of humour - well it means different things for different people and I actually usually define it in my profiles as not only being the ability to "make jokes" but rather the ability to laugh at oneself (and even at me!), to not take everything too seriously, to find the humour in everyday situations, to play and have fun with one another.

 

Onlne dating really is a different world and takes some getting used to, and some time to learn how it's done. But it really can be a great way to meet people that you might normally not get to meet, especially for those who are young but out of school and very busy with their personal/work lives. I have had good and great success online. My last ex and I met online and dated for almost 1.5 years. I also met my current boyfriend (and hopefully last!) online - it was funny as we know a few people/friends in common and have been at same races, but never actually met - and we are moving in together in a couple weeks, so obviously it is going fantastic! Don't give up on it too easily