Gaynor Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 My ex recently got back in touch with me. This was back at the beginning of December. He was calling texting wanting me to talk to him. So I did. And since then I have only actually seen him twice. He starts each day with a good morning text and texts me throughout the day. Well I work full time and he does not work so has all his time free. I have invited him to my house on some evenings but he says the day is almost over, it's 7pm..and today he wanted to take me out but because I couldn't be ready for 11am he said it was too late. I explained most weekday nights I am not home until 7pm and weekends I don't like to have to rush about. This is the only time I have to see people though. He implied I was being selfish and not bothered about seeing him if I couldn't be ready early enough. I feel that he has plenty of time on his hands and he is the one being selfish. Do you think I am in the wrong here? In view of how he treated me during our relationship( he cheated ) I feel like he should be making every effort to put things right. I've not said this to him though. He seems to think we can have a relationship by text! Also he drives and I don't, but we live in neighbouring towns.both in our early thirties. Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Hey Gaynor- May I ask why, if you two broke up, would you want him back after he cheated? Now it sounds like he's playing games. How do you know, he's not giving you the run around because he's seeing someone else? He could be playing the both of you. Link to comment
Gaynor Posted January 10, 2015 Author Share Posted January 10, 2015 Yeah you do have a good point there. I guess I just want to get back to when things were good with him. I'm quite a forgiving person, I've tried to get over the cheating. I feel like why would he bother texting me all the time if he's with someone else? When he cheated..we had already broken up but were in the process of getting back together when he went off with someone else. So that's not cheating in everybody's book but I feel it was. But I do strongly suspect he cheated during our relatinship although he denies it but I'm pretty sure. Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 What you're feeling is normal. When we break up with someone, we often forget the bad and focus on the good. It's very easy to do. But you're a better person than being leftovers or seconds. Who knows why he is doing what he's doing. It's like a kid at a birthday party. What does he go back and forth between the ice cream and cake? Why can't he just pick one? Because to him, they're both good, so he tries to have both of them. At the end of the day it doesn't matter. What matters is you healing and moving forward. The anxiousness and worry isn't worth it. You deserve a man who will be faithful, want to see you and won't play games. Take back your dignity and self respect. There's a myriad of folks on here who can get you through this with some amazing advice. Believe me- they've helped me so much. Also, listen to that gut feeling. It's rarely wrong. Link to comment
Gaynor Posted January 10, 2015 Author Share Posted January 10, 2015 Thank you. I know I am worth better than to settle for this. He texted to say we will go out tomorrow, but only if I am up at a decent time! The cheek! i guess he is still the same selfish guy he always was. Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 If you want to see him (though I don't understand why)...and he has to come pick you up because you don't drive...then set an alarm and be ready. 11am is not an unreasonable time to be ready by. Link to comment
fuzzylove Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 No you're not in the wrong at all. 7pm and 11am are not too late to hangout if he truly wants to see you. I'm in a somewhat similar situation, bf doesn't make enough time to see me. But if on top of not willing to go a little out of his way to see me, he had also cheated, I wouldn't agree to see him ever again, just cut him out cold-turkey. It's tempting to go back if he begs, but in your situation, he seems to not be making that much of an effort at all. And if things go back to the 'good old times', you can probably bet that it won't be for long before things get bad again. People don't change easily! You deserve better! Link to comment
Gaynor Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 Yeah thank you, you're right. It feels though it isn't going to work. I feel like he wants to always be in control too and that this petty squabble over what time we go out is a part of that. Plus he goes to see his friends some weekend evenings I'm sure he could do the Same with me. Something just doesn't add up. Anyhow I think it's not worth the bother of trying to understand. Link to comment
Gaynor Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 Yeah thank you, you're right. It feels though it isn't going to work. I feel like he wants to always be in control too and that this petty squabble over what time we go out is a part of that. Plus he goes to see his friends some weekend evenings I'm sure he could do the Same with me. Something just doesn't add up. Anyhow I think it's not worth the bother of trying to understand. Link to comment
UnwantedGF73 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Well, I'm new here and all, but I had a guy who claimed he wanted to go out with me a few years ago. The only time he would see me was if I got with him at 8am in the morning. This was completely ridiculous to me and I never went out with him. It turned out that he had a live-in girlfriend that worked from 8am to 3pm every day and he though he was gonna see me while she was at work and then get rid of me right before she got home. I saw right through his stupid little plan though. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 He's trying to squeeze you in between other women. Link to comment
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