Stuckinaloop Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 So it's my second semester of college and it's been very hard making friends as I'm a very introverted person and juggle anxiety problems that make it difficult and near impossible to step outside of my comfort zone very often. Regardless, I was able to meet a few people last semester and I've gotten relatively close with them. Off campus housing is much cheaper than the dorms are, surprisingly, so last semester me and my friends S, A, and P all planned on getting an apartment together our sophomore year. As I hangout with all of them more and more, S and P confided in me that they didn't want to live with S, as she is obnoxious and seeks out drama. Having come to learn this myself, I agreed. We stopped talking about it as a precaution to breaking the news to her in some way, but she faded out of the friend group anyway so it wasn't a big deal. Now here's my problem. This semester I've brought up the apartment situation to my friend A a couple of times. She didn't try to deflect it or anything but still talked about it like it was a hypothetical, and the most recent time I brought it up she said she was thinking about rooming with P and a mutual guy friend. There was no mention of me. I'm still very good friends with her and we hangout the most out of the group so I don't think she wants to stop being friends but.. I don't know how to figure out if I'm still meant to be getting an apartment with them? I want to ask straight up but I'm worried if the answer is they don't want to live with me, that will make the friendship uncomfortable, having to admit that to me. But I also need to know because I don't have any other friends so I would probably have to resort to the dorms again as I don't want to seek out roommates (once again, the social anxiety would make that difficult.) Any advice on how to handle the situation? Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 I think that it's best for you to straight up ask, just say something like, "If you and P get an apartment, would I be included in that? I remember us discussing living together at one point." I don't think that is too rude. If she says no, I think you can still hang out, since I've told friends I wouldn't live with them because I wanted to live alone, and friends have said they wouldn't live with me (because they were living with others), and there were no hard feelings. One friend was a little offended that I wanted to live alone, but she got over it. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Instead of beating around the bush, I'd just say to each of the friends separately, "I need to know whether we're lined up as roommates for next semester, or whether I'll need to find another situation." If the answer is that you're on your own, you can decide from there whether you'll want to alter your friendship or not. Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 I agree with the above posters. You don't want to wait until last minute, then have to be scrambling for find a place to live (outside the campus). I'll definitely talk to them to find out where everyone stands. Good luck. Link to comment
Stuckinaloop Posted January 10, 2015 Author Share Posted January 10, 2015 Alright I'll go ahead and be straight up with them! Thanks guys! Link to comment
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