To go home or not?

[chavahannulah]

I'm a 19 year old au pair living in Germany. I chose Germany on a whim, because my family is of German descent. Since arriving here in September, it has become clear to me that it is not the place for me. I have struggled with depression for four years, and after a long period of feeling better, am finding myself crashing again. I have one very good friend here, and other than that, I feel completely alone. I have done all the sightseeing in Germany that I wanted to, and now find myself bored, lonely and homesick. I don't speak German, and honestly have no desire to learn, as I doubt I will return here after I leave. I am almost positive that I want to return to home within the next few weeks, six months before I'm supposed to. I have family, friends and two jobs waiting for me at home. My only fear is that I will regret leaving. I feel like I'm letting myself down by not finishing what was supposed to be my big adventure. As well, I know I will be letting down my host family, as they counted on having me here until the summer. What do I do?

[annie24]

welcome to ENA.

 

IMHO, stick it out and finish off the last 6 months. Maybe you can see a counselor to help you with your depression. If you don't think you can do that, sit down with the host family and tell them honestly that you need to go home, but you will stay until they are able to find a replacement for you. I don't know if you are working with an agency or not, but see what you can do to help the situation so you can go home, and your host family will have childcare.

 

good luck, take care

[sweetheartice1]

I have done all the sightseeing in Germany that I wanted to, and now find myself bored, lonely and homesick. I don't speak German, and honestly have no desire to learn, as I doubt I will return here after I leave. I am almost positive that I want to return to home within the next few weeks, six months before I'm supposed to. I have family, friends and two jobs waiting for me at home. My only fear is that I will regret leaving. I feel like I'm letting myself down by not finishing what was supposed to be my big adventure. As well, I know I will be letting down my host family, as they counted on having me here until the summer. What do I do?

 

I spent a summer in Munich and although I had a good experience, I was ready to leave by the end of summer. My hope would have been that I could have made a few German friends, but I didn't do a good job of trying to make any friends as I was there with other american students and just hung out with them. But one of the other students found an ex-pat website called toy town germany (click on the forum links). he went to a meet up of other expats in the area and had a great time. maybe if you could make a friend you would have more fun?

 

otherwise, it's kind of 50/50. on one hand, it can be good to stick things out and finish a commitment. on the other hand, we've all been in a situation where we were miserable and you know you want to go home. if you are absolutely miserable though, well, life is a short and i'd probably consider leaving since it's not just another month or anything...hang in there while you're deciding