Can't orgasm?

[EmptySoul]

Hello. My question: I've had sex a number of times (think what you want) but never had an orgasm. I've masturbated, but get no enjoyment out of that. It's not that I haven't tried enough, or figured out how to please myself or whatever, I just can't get turned on by myself. I have some problems with depression, etc. maybe that has something to do with it? But to me, having sex, I can forget about everything, and enjoy it while it's happening. So why can't I have an orgasm? Thanks in advance.

 

Empty

[Amasa]

Some women don't ever have an orgasms. But I think that if you spent some time and worked on your own self image, and depression it would be easier. And you would more likely be able to "get turned on by yourself"

The other thing is that if you love the guy the sex is better. I don't know if your in a relationship or not with the guy your having sex with, but it really is a million times better when your in love, so maybe you need to hold out on worring about orgasms until you find that special someone?

[clodhopper]

I agree -- dont worry until you're in a relationship with someone you're in love with. Sex IS a lot better when it's in a loving relationship.

[AlleyCat]

Are you sure you're emotionally ready to be having sex? I'm really not trying to insult you or anything - I had sex for the first time when I was 15. Looking back, I think sex was more about the fun that came from doing something "forbidden" - and I was terrified that my mom would find out.

 

I actually never had an orgasm with my b/f until we had been together for at least a few years, and then I didn't have another one until a couple of years after that. Now I can just about every time we have sex - as long as I'm on top. Many women can't have orgasms at all during sex, and for those that can, most only can in a certain position. For me, I think it was just difficult to really feel comfortable enough to just let go and enjoy it. For awhile, I think I was just so focused on actually having an orgasm that I wouldn't let myself relax enough, although I still enjoyed having sex. I still can't relax enough to have an orgasm during oral sex , although many women can.

 

My advise to you would be to try to relax. That just might be your biggest problem. And as long as you enjoy having sex, does it really matter??

 

As for other ways of having an orgasm, most women are more turned on by books than by visual porn. You could try that. It just takes practice to know what feels good for you.

[BrandonBo]

definetly wait till u have sex with someone you love get caught up in the moment have a lil foreplay and relax things should go alot better treat your depression a bit and find someone to love things may go alot better