My discipline technique and my husbands

[Cidmercury]

I adopted a dog I've had her 6 months, she's great but very timid and cautious of new people, it has taken her a long time to warm up to my husband. The slightest move and she bolts or jumps, my husband can stand up to fast and she runs out of the room. She is in no way aggressive.

However she has a habit of getting into food on the counter and garbage like ripping up cardboard boxes and what not (some separation anxiety I supposed as this only happends when she's only)

Sometimes she eats food off the counter.. He gets pretty mad at this and I'm trying to correct this behaviour, I know that dogs are very much "in the moment" so coming home to her after she's already been naughty and trying to discipline her then is hard, I have yet to catch her in the act because it's only happening when she's home alone. I'm also trying to get her used to being out of her crate but I think she needs it, it's her safe place. She doesn't panic or bark in there but when she's alone and out I know she's anxious, I just don't want to have to resort to crating her all day, I want her to have the freedom to walk around and drink water and sleep on her favourite spot on the couch

This is where my husband and I but heads..

He thinks that disciplining a dog means to smack her and give her a good hit.. I don't agree with this. I tell her no sternly, I may grab her face and show her what she's done and put a toy down in place to show her what is hers and what is not etc. he thinks I need to grab her by the scruff and smack her! We came home from a quick trip up the street and she ate chicken off the counter.. He walked in a called her a and was all "babe! Grab her and beat her ass! And he starts telling me "I'm just telling you how to do it properly"

We end up fighting because I'm not ok with hitting her and I haven't but my husband is ridiculous and I hate the arguments after. We have both had dogs our whole lives and I guess his technique has worked for him because he had a wonderful well behaved 14 yr old Newfie (since he was a pup). If his dog got in trouble he would punch him in the head or the nose or back hand him

This bothers me and I'm not willing to train my dog like this.. She is already fearful of people. How do I make him understand and let me do this myself and also any tips on how to stop my dog from stealing food off the counter.. ( it's hard to constantly be on the ball after meals and dinner and putting left overs away, food gets left out..).

[agent1607307371]

To stop her stealing food off the counter, don't leave it on the counter or make it so she can't get on the counter. Our dog once got up on it and ate a frozen (!) leg of lamb that was for dinner the next day. Dogs are scavengers - if food is there, they will have it.

 

As for beating a dog, that's repulsive and the dog should be rehomed if you can't guarantee her safety. Are you taking her to a training class?

[abitbroken]

Neither of you are right. You can only correct the dog if you catch the dog in the act, use a stern "NO" and take the item away. "SHOWING" the dog what they did doesn't work. They are not 7 year old children. Taking a dog's face and "showing" them is only going to make them more headshy.

 

I think you are better off

 

1) Using positive reinforcement. Teaching the dog GOOD behavior and rewarding profusely with praise when the dog does something good. And teach her commands so she knows what is expected. You can head off a situation she is running into sometimes by diverting her and telling her to 'sit", etc, she might even forget about doing the other thing.

 

2) Take the trash out. Don't let delicious smelling trash sit open in the kitchen and there shouldn't be cardboard boxes randomly laying around the house with things she wants in them. It is not fair to put all this at eye level to the dog. Do a bit of "dog proofing" like taping down loose wires, putting childlocks on bathroom cabinets and putting bathroom garbage in there because some of that stuff is fatal to dogs and find out what trash receptacle she can't open or do the same in the kitchen, but empty it into the big garbage bag in the can in the garage daily.

 

I know you are both frustrated, but if you teach her what is right, you will fidn your dog will be less timid over time and less confused on how to please you and she will stop misbehaving around your husband

[abitbroken]

If your husband would punch his dog in the nose, how does he treat children and you? I shudder to think about him raising kids.

[Cidmercury]

My husband has never laid a hand on her and he never will.. I will not allow that. She runs away from him anyways.

I have taken her to obedience/socialization classes specific for fearful shy dogs and she has come a long way in the 6-7 months I've had her. This is a learning experience for myself too. I've taught her several things, basic commands like sit, stay, down, off, shake a paw and we do "brain games" to help with her high energy and anxiety. Things like a muffin tray with tennis balls in it and a treat hidden, I use lots of hide and seek and she's very good at agility training, moving through cones and up and down ramps, she walks well on a leash and we are working on "heal"

I try to keep food off the counter and take the garbage out.. As for "cardboard laying around the house".. I have a spot in my kitchen where I put my recycling before it goes out. I do agree I shouldn't leave these things out where a dog can get at them but like I said it's hard to be ontop of it.. Especially when my husbands attitude is along the lines of "well we shouldn't have to clean up because we have a dog, she needs to learn just not to do it" so unless I clean it up.. It gets left out, my husband is not as much of a clean freak as I am..

I try hard to use positive reinforcement, like I said when something happends usually I try to replace the mess with her toys and something that is hers, or I immediate remove her from the situation and the tension and take her outside for a walk or run (this is what the class has taught me)

[Cidmercury]

I have tried using a stern "NO" and taking the items away,, the "showing her" is my husbands input... "You have to show her what she did wrong"

I completely understand this does not work :S, I more so just show her the mess so my husband backs off I am never aggressive with her or resort to yelling and what not. And I also very much know that dogs are in the moment that is why I said I've struggled with it cuz it's so hard to catch her in the act

[BrianH46]

I don't agree with the "dogs are in the moment comment" dogs are more cognitive than most people give them credit for, imo. I've set up a camera to catch my youngest Dobe in the act of stealing food. It was pretty amazing, she would watch us leave the house, check the stairway, and hesitate while looking at the food. One time she would even put the food back after picking it up. Every time I get home after her stealing food, she would always hide. She has long given up that habit and my old lab was the same way when he was younger. However I employed methods your husband condones.

 

My advice, talk to your husband about the discipline thing because it can eat away at your relationship. It caused many fights between my gf and myself. Funny thing both of my siblings went through the same with their significant others, with the men being the harsher disciplinarians.

[Cidmercury]

Also is she eats off the counter and I have not fed her yet, should she go without her dinner?

[Cidmercury]

However I employed methods your husband condones.

 

What specifically? (Just out of curiosity)

Like I said my husband had a 14 year old Newfie who was the greatest sweetest well behaved dog and I've heard all the stories about his mischief when he was a younger dog.. Is this a habit she might grow out of with the right discipline?

[BrianH46]

What specifically? (Just out of curiosity)

Like I said my husband had a 14 year old Newfie who was the greatest sweetest well behaved dog and I've heard all the stories about his mischief when he was a younger dog.. Is this a habit she might grow out of with the right discipline?

 

They will grow out of it with persistence. For food, how I trained all of my dogs is to set a bowl of food on the floor. Whenever they try to take it or get too close, you tell them no(I use a clicker or snap my fingers before giving commands). If they ignore I'd discipline them but for you, you can try a squirt bottle or just simply bar them from getting to the food. I'd leave the food there and ignore them to test their patience. If they make no more attempts I would move further away and repeat. If they ignore the food you can use positive reinforcement here and treat them. Afterwards I would leave the room and slowly increase the time spent out of the room. Hope this helps.

 

Also whenever you are feeding her, have her sit. Put the bowl down but don't let her eat until you give the command to do so.

[abitbroken]

What specifically? (Just out of curiosity)

Like I said my husband had a 14 year old Newfie who was the greatest sweetest well behaved dog and I've heard all the stories about his mischief when he was a younger dog.. Is this a habit she might grow out of with the right discipline?

 

With positive reinforcement, with taking her for walks and keeping her active, and also it depends on her breed type. A 14 year old Newfie is extremely elderly for that breed. That is apples and oranges and the dog was well behaved DESPITE the treatment and not because of it. I have known Newfies and most of them are pretty mellow especially when older and you can't use that as an example if your dog has shepherd or border collie or terrier or hound in her. My brother's newfie was basically a throw rug in demeanor.

And also just using common sense and not setting up your dog for failure. It sets a dog up for failure when you leave food randomly out in the house and then get upset when she takes it or if a dog is wary of children, it sets a dog up for failure to take them over to a house of toddlers.

 

btw,

Most dogs would take food that is left unattended. If you had a baby, you would automatically make sure there was nothing on the floor they could put in their mouth because of their nature, or babygate the stairs because they would fall down. If you have a dog, you cannot leave food randomly out and expect the dog not to take advantage of it. If you want her to leave the recycling alone, then make sure you are paying attention to her, or give her something that is okay for her to chew and reward her for doing it.

 

Have you crate trained her so when you are not attending her and want to leave food out for whatever reason, she is in her safe den so she is not set up for failure?

[SophieGrace]

Dogs do NOT understand wrongdoing in your eyes unless they are caught in the act, and physical punishment is NOT an effective reprimand. It is cruel. A simple loud "no" is more effective than anything. Dogs want to make you happy because they see you as the alpha, and to hear a harsh word upsets them as well. They need time to learn with consistency - just like a child.

 

I have worked with a nationally-known dog trainer, and his method is firm control through voice mandates that happen in the moment (no hitting) and lots of positive reinforcement and attention for behavior you want to encourage.

 

If you leave your dog alone for a period of more than 4 hours with garbage on the counter and in the trash and he tries to eat it, or screws up the furniture, or barks non-stop, then that is your fault. Many dogs experience separation anxiety and get bored and/or act out. Take responsibility for that - just like you would a child who was left alone. They are pack animals; they need to be around their alpha and other dogs - they aren't cats. But please do NOT hit your dog.

 

Honestly, I have hard time imagining being attracted to a man who would default to violence against a defenseless creature who you have put in your house and given it rules it doesn't understand and expect it to reason like a person. What a disgusting thing to do, and abusing animals is against the law.

[Lonewing]

Also is she eats off the counter and I have not fed her yet, should she go without her dinner?

 

So then she understands she has to forage?

[Seraphim]

Why the hell would you not feed an animal because they did wrong??? That is cruel.

[lerenard]

To stop her stealing food off the counter, don't leave it on the counter or make it so she can't get on the counter. Easy as that, 100 % agree. Your house should be dog-proofed when you get a dog, just like with any animal or any person with special need or babies.

[superfan]

Anybody who hits a dog is a revolting human being and should not have said dog. I don't care how "well behaved" your husband's former dog was, hitting an animal is beyond repulsive.

 

Clicker training and positive re-enforcement (as well as dog proofing your house) is the ONLY way to train an animal. My husband and I recently got a cat, and we have managed to clicker train her to sit, and to scratch her scratching post instead of the table, walls, etc. She is a 3 year old cat, and already had these habits from her previous household so we were pretty much re-training everything about her, but we did it without hitting her, rubbing her nose in her mistakes or getting angry with her.

[Cidmercury]

Why the hell would you not feed an animal because they did wrong??? That is cruel.

 

Please don't make assumptions.. It was a question I asked because my dog ate 2 whole chicken breasts and left over pasta.. There's nothing cruel about not giving her a bowl of kibble because she's eaten like a Queen

[Seraphim]

Well the dog did not get these food items out of the fridge by herself. So the answer is put it away. She can't eat what isn't out.

 

And no never hit an animal. It teaches them nothing but fear and aggression .

[journeynow]

Please don't make assumptions.. It was a question I asked because my dog ate 2 whole chicken breasts and left over pasta.. There's nothing cruel about not giving her a bowl of kibble because she's eaten like a Queen

 

Play it by ear. If they've helped themselves to a large enough serving, don't feed them after simply because they don't need to be overfed. It's not about punishment or teaching them a lesson, but about their overall health.

[Cidmercury]

I don't know why everyone is getting their back up..

I never once said I hit my dog, I NEVER have and I will not I've already stated I don't agree with hitting a dog as punishment and I have already stated as well my husband also has NEVER hit my dog.

Thanks for the advice to deal with my dog getting into mischief while alone. I really appreciate the legit helpful advice.. Not so much the "well don't leave food out".. Thanks captain obvious but these things happen.

I feel like people only take from this the negative and only read what they want..

I have had dogs my whole life, I'm an animal person I'm compassionate and I love my dog. This is my first dog who is MINE and not a family dog. I found her I adopted/rescued her, I paid out the $1g to have her leg reconstructed because someone previously abused her and she couldn't walk or run.. This dog is so fearful of people because obviously someone severely mistreated her, she was under weight, afraid, dirty,, unhealthy. I buy her top of the line food and spoil her, I've paid out for her classes to help her be a normal dog again and I've not even had her a year. I spend all my time with her, walk her run her like I said this is a learning experience for myself as well.

She is crate trained, she loves her crate she goes in all by herself she is safe and comfortable in there.

My house hold can be hectic at time JUST LIKE ANY HOUSE, I have a 5 year old step daughter who is hyper active and she LOVES my dog and my dog loves her, she's the only person my dog had no trouble being comfortable around and adjusting to (aside from myself)

Again just like any house hold.. Things get left out things get over looked, the past week I've been leaving my girl out of her kennel, closing all the doors and cleaning up the shoes etc so she can adjust to having a bigger space while alone and she has done so well. I left her alone to go to the gas station which is 2 minutes away not even, to get my step daughter a ice cream bar.. I was gone all of 5 minutes and dog figured I put the food far enough back on the counter and she had done so well lately that it didn't cross my mind. Like I said before when I came home my husband flipped out (that is the issue here, how do I dissolve this conflict with him regarding our differences about the dog, he does not discipline her and won't because she is my responsibility and I will not allow his "technique" I will not do that)

I'm just looking for tips on how to avoid these accidents with her and again.. Without the obvious like umm well put the food away dummy... Thanks..

If anybody has any experience dealing with higher energy mischief dogs with anxiety that would be wonderful

Again, she has come a loooooong way, her separation anxiety is the only thing I have yet to "train out of her"

Stealing food off the counter is just the example I've used as it just happened last night. I get that a dog wil steal food if given the opportunity.

She shreds things, she wil pull out shoes if given the chance and alone, she will steal and rip up hats as well, she seems destructive.. It's hard to tell if this IS separation anxiety or just a case of a high emery dog who is bored

[abitbroken]

Also is she eats off the counter and I have not fed her yet, should she go without her dinner?

 

If she ate that huge amount of food, then I think you should limit her dinner if you are asking a health related question and not a disciplinary question. Just like if you went to a huge buffet for lunch late and felt like you would explode if you had dinner.

 

 

 

I don't know why everyone is getting their back up..

I never once said I hit my dog, I NEVER have and I will not I've already stated I don't agree with hitting a dog as punishment and I have already stated as well my husband also has NEVER hit my dog.

Thanks for the advice to deal with my dog getting into mischief while alone. I really appreciate the legit helpful advice.. Not so much the "well don't leave food out".. Thanks captain obvious but these things happen.

I feel like people only take from this the negative and only read what they want..

I have had dogs my whole life, I'm an animal person I'm compassionate and I love my dog. This is my first dog who is MINE and not a family dog. I found her I adopted/rescued her, I paid out the $1g to have her leg reconstructed because someone previously abused her and she couldn't walk or run.. This dog is so fearful of people because obviously someone severely mistreated her, she was under weight, afraid, dirty,, unhealthy. I buy her top of the line food and spoil her, I've paid out for her classes to help her be a normal dog again and I've not even had her a year. I spend all my time with her, walk her run her like I said this is a learning experience for myself as well.

She is crate trained, she loves her crate she goes in all by herself she is safe and comfortable in there.

My house hold can be hectic at time JUST LIKE ANY HOUSE, I have a 5 year old step daughter who is hyper active and she LOVES my dog and my dog loves her, she's the only person my dog had no trouble being comfortable around and adjusting to (aside from myself)

Again just like any house hold.. Things get left out things get over looked, the past week I've been leaving my girl out of her kennel, closing all the doors and cleaning up the shoes etc so she can adjust to having a bigger space while alone and she has done so well. I left her alone to go to the gas station which is 2 minutes away not even, to get my step daughter a ice cream bar.. I was gone all of 5 minutes and dog figured I put the food far enough back on the counter and she had done so well lately that it didn't cross my mind. Like I said before when I came home my husband flipped out (that is the issue here, how do I dissolve this conflict with him regarding our differences about the dog, he does not discipline her and won't because she is my responsibility and I will not allow his "technique" I will not do that)

I'm just looking for tips on how to avoid these accidents with her and again.. Without the obvious like umm well put the food away dummy... Thanks..

If anybody has any experience dealing with higher energy mischief dogs with anxiety that would be wonderful

Again, she has come a loooooong way, her separation anxiety is the only thing I have yet to "train out of her"

Stealing food off the counter is just the example I've used as it just happened last night. I get that a dog wil steal food if given the opportunity.

She shreds things, she wil pull out shoes if given the chance and alone, she will steal and rip up hats as well, she seems destructive.. It's hard to tell if this IS separation anxiety or just a case of a high emery dog who is bored

 

I think that you can't just put food far enough back on the counter. You have to put it away. Moving the food from the front to the back of the counter does not put it out of her memory or her nose, it just creates more of a challenge for her to get it. My mom's dog ate part of a pie once that was back on the counter and now when she goes out, she puts the pie in the fridge or if it can't go in the fridge because of what it is or its cooling, it goes in the microwave or a cooled oven. We know when we go over there that desert is often in the microwave. And the dogs behave well now because they are not given the opportunity to misbehave - or actually - to just be dogs. It avoids fights among the people and they don't have to worry about being at the emergency vet with a dog who ate chocolate or a chicken bone.

My parents also tell guests to close their bedroom door if they want to keep their socks.

 

As far as the hats, etc, then you just need to put that away too. A dog will shred squeaky toys and it is seen as "okay" - well they can't always transfer that that sock or fuzzy slipper that feels like a squeaky toy is not okay to shred. I know dogs that don't have seperation anxiety that will shred something like that due to instinct if they are a dog who is a ratter like a terrier or some hunting dogs. They also desire something to chew. Give her something she can chew - give her a bully stick or one of those tough toys that she can be rewarded by having time with it.

 

I understand you say you have a chaotic home, but make it unchaotic. If the daughter doesn't pick up after herself and the dog gets it, then she will learn. Or the adults will. You can't just train - you have to also remove temptation. Or find different ways of stowing stuff away like bins or a locker.

[journeynow]

I had a rescue dog that was a counter surfer and had a high level of separation anxiety, and at the same time young children, and a somewhat hectic household, and I can understand the challenge. What I did not do, but looking back I should have, was hire a dog behaviorist to come into our household to observe and train the household. An outside source can point out what everyone can do to help the situation, which is more affective than you hoping to change everyone's behavior, or the dog's. We became better at keeping food put away, dishes washed, and ears open to the dog heading into the kitchen. It was a long time ago, and maybe now this technique would be frowned upon, but we left bread on the counter with hot pepper on it, and after a few times doing this the dog lost some of his motivation to counter surf. However, chicken, or a cake cooling, we'd consider far too tempting and put out of reach, either right into the fridge or up in cupboard or on top of the frig. Her nervousness of your husband may just be something you adjust to, since you don't entirely know her history and can't shackle your husband. Another dog we adopted who was devoted to my husband ran from the room whenever he coughed, even though he never hurt her and she was his dog for 12 or 13 years. Something from her early days stuck with her for the rest of her life.

[journeynow]

What breed is your dog?

[Cidmercury]

Thank you the last few posts have been helpful

 

I honestly don't know what her breed is.. The lady I got her from thinks she's a German Shepard pitbull cross but I think she is a formosan mountain dog, I don't think I can attach a picture but she's pure white

[Seraphim]

It could be that she was starved as well as abused and maybe that's why she grabs everything she can grab. It could be the anxiety of thinking that she won't eat again. One of my rescue cats is like this. The cat food bowl always has to have food in it or he goes absolutely crazy even though he has already eaten.

 

But I guess that could help explain why she grabs things of off the counter other than the fact that she's a dog.

 

Thank you for rescuing this poor dog. You are very kind to care for her.