Do I need her back? was i wrong!!!?

[Kris261]

I recently broke up with my girlfriend of just over 1 year. I ended the relationship because i wasnt sure i was inlove with her. I love her very much, and care for her more than anyone else but i was no longer getting butterflys and wishing to spend all my time with her.

 

Since splitting up several weeks ago all i do is think of her. I know she loved me very much and cried for a whole week, and i was considering getting back with her. I dont think about other girls or have the desire to go with other girls, i just wasnt sure she was "the one"!

 

She called me up and told me that she had kissed another guy shortly after we broke up and that she hated it and felt awful and it was just because she was drunk! I know that we were not together but it hurts so much and i thought it would take her a lot longer to get over me as i split up with her and it is taking me ages!

 

Can i possibly get back with her after she has been with some1 else?

Will the relationship work anyway when it wasnt before?

Should i settle because i love her so much?

Do i need to see what its like with another girl?

Does she love me as much as she thinks she does if she can kiss other guys when drunK!??

 

Really Need help!!!!!!!!!

 

Thanx, Kris

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[PrincessLinzay]

Hey Kris,

 

Seems like there are a lot of conflicted feelings.

 

As for the kiss..... It was just a kiss, and you broke up with her, so it's really a non-issue. You weren't together, she wasn't "with" someone else. Just some kissing, which she told you about and how much she didn't like it.

 

As for not being "in love", you won't always have those warm and fuzzy feelings. Especially when you're with someone for a long time. They come and go throughout the relationship. Sometimes you won't feel "in love" although you love the person. Other times, you'll feel deeply in love. It's a constant roller coaster. Falling in and out of love with your significant other.

 

If you're having this hard of a time, perhaps you made the wrong decision in breaking up. Maybe you're a bit of a romantic? Someone who thinks that if they are not madly in love, it's not worth continuing. In any case, it might be something to consider, maybe a second chance is warranted.

 

Good Luck!

[Kris261]

Thankyou for the advice. I know the kiss didnt mean anything it just really hurts me!

The relationship was always passionate and we were extremely sexually active however part of me feels like i was not attracted to her anymore. I dont know how to explain this! Do looks matter when you know she will love u till the day u die?

[confuzedboy89]

if you love her and she loves you try talking to her about it. maybe she wants to get back togather with you. Whatever decison she makes your gonna have to respect.

[annie24]

This line kinda bothered me:

 

Should i settle because i love her so much?

 

I'm sure you do love her, but you said yourself, you don't know if she's the one. I would hate to think of anyone who was dating me was thinking he was "settling." You deserve someone who is crazy about you, and so does she. Otherwise, it's not fair to either of you. If you don't know if she's the one by now, she's probably not. Maybe with time the answer will become clear to you - dating other people isn't a bad idea at all. I wish you luck!

[Kris261]

I know she wants to get back with me, but i dont know if its for the best! i dont know whether we're going round in circles! I dont know how i feel or what to do!

 

PLEASE HELP ME... NEVER BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE

[confuzedboy89]

no one can tell you exactly what to do. Just take some time to find your feelings for this girl and most of all just follow your heart. Hope eveything turns out the way you want.

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

It had been stated that u wasnt sure if u are in love with her, is that why u have butterflies in ur stomach when are u with her, or u have them the moment after u broke off?

 

The other girls u are mxing with are clearly NOT the point here. U are focusing on ur doubts so much, u are blind to them anyway. If u dun believe me, u can chat with any gal, u end up talking about her instead.

 

U are the one who goes around in circle. I dun think she is. If she can kiss someone and claimed to u the kiss is a bad one, she is telling u that u are good kisser. Is that a hard thing to be driven at u?

 

If u wan to make urself feel good, answer the first question i posted in the first paragraph. If the butterflies are formed after u broke up, there is no need for u to try things out with her again.

 

Thanks for reading..

[angelicshadow]

Love does not always remain the same. It does not always remain a raging passion. It develops into something confortable and happy, but passionate in other ways.

[nikkiagerba]

dude, definitley go back to her, do some romantic gesture or anything. this girl is not gonna get over you in a long time since hse is in love with you. do what ya gotta do to get the one your in love with

 

hey if any one can help my problem out check it in the front about the does he like me one

thanx

and good liuck1

[Kris261]

Thanx for the advice prosper but i think u may have read it wrong.

I actually said

 

"i was no longer getting butterflys and wishing to spend all my time with her. "

 

Sorry if it wasnt clear. I meant to say i didnt want to spend all my time with her and that i didnt get butterflys in my stomach any more.

 

I know that she is inlove with me, and that i probably wont get any who can love me more than she can.. but part of me doesnt know whether that is enough. Surely if i was inlove with her then i would know for sure, 110% !?

 

Although i miss her very much and got jealous when i heard about the kiss i feel that it may not be enough.

 

Do i search for my true love or do i already have her?

[Azure13]

Hi,

This is coming from my own perspective, seeing as I'm a woman whose been in the shoes of your newly ex girlfriend. Anyways, I have seen countless situations like this, I have seen more often than not that the grass is only greener on the other side. I have to agree with some of the others who said that love changes over time, and it does! Newness wears off and all of that, okay not to compare your girlfriend to food, but if you eat your favorite food all the time your gonna start getting sick of it, you know? Not to offend you but maybe you're just not at the point or maturity in your life where you want a serious relationship.. IMHO, there is no "one" perfect and no one "true love" out there for anyone. It seems like you have someone who loves you a lot and you love her but the newness wore off and now you're not so enthused about her. But real love changes overtime, I mean think about it, do you see your grandparents going at it all the time and getting all starry eyed over each other, but yet I' m sure they still love each other. Anyway if you want a serious relationship I would say continue, because a long term relationship does not stay with the initial passion forever. If you really don't want a serious relationship then you made the right choice, however, don't expect her to be waiting if/when you change your mind and feel you need to fill some emotional void.

 

There are things you can do to make the relationship more exciting and stuff, just try doing things differently, anything to break the routine. But realize it takes two people to change and make any relationship work you can't just expect things to change without putting in an earnest effort. I really just think that if you want a long term/serious relationship then I would say continue with her, and realize that relationships have ups and downs and change over time. Also, please don't just think of yourself, think of this from her perspective.. relationships take two people and if you love her don't put her through unnecessary pain and string her along. I guess I just am saying that she deserves a straight forward answer/decision.. and if you don't give that to her after a while don't be surprised if she just gets tired and fed up of the situation altogether. Anyway, thats just my two cents, good luck with it.

[lady00]

You should go with your gut feeling. Your instinct was to break up with her and our instincts/gut feelings are usually right. They usually point us in the direction that is best for us even if the rational mind disagrees because after all, relationships are about feelings, not logic.