What's up with this Guy???

[Kimmey]

My friend &I both liked this guy we met thru a group of friends. He's cute,sexy and seductive.He's talked to her,I thought they would for sure hit it off. She is very tiny and beautiful, the center of attention. Well, this guy said something that made her mad. She feels guys only want to sleep with her as a trophy. Me and another girl talked with him and had both told her, mostly teasing we'd like to sleep with him. Months went by w/o them every going out. One night that my girlfriends stood me up. We talked. He really was coming on strong and I asked him, "What about my friend?" He spatted back, "She had her chance."

I was surprised and flattered. I am older, cute but not a beauty like my friend. After a couple of dates with him. Without telling her yet (I hadn't figured out what to say) he asked her out again. She said yes and asked him when he was going to pick her up he told her he wasn't going to pick her up, like she would have to pick him up. Confused She blew him off after that. I knew I had to tell her. She is like family to me. She forgave me of course. We both think this guy is jerk. But we have both admitted we still like him. I would really like to know what is this guy thinking? Why are we still hung up on him?

[Celadon]

Hi Kimmey,

 

Welcome to eNotAlone! Hmm...this guy seems like a player to me. He backed off when he made your friend mad, and went out with you, but still wanted to "get" her. So then he asked her out again.

 

I don't know. I'm sure he's hot and sexy and all that -- maybe really "into" himself, too? But if he's really dating both of you and who knows who else, then safe to say he's not looking for love, just a little action. You know?

 

Some guys and gals have charisma and sex appeal, which is why so many of us get hung up on them. But if you don't want to get hurt or be used, you have to decide that sex appeal and charm are only part of the package you're looking for. Being kind and genuine and loyal, etc., are things I'd definitely look for as well.

 

Cheers. 8)

[ShySoul]

Yeah, he sounds like a jerk and a player. He was going out with you put tried to get together with her even when he said she "had her chance." Then he expects her to pick him up? Sounds like he isn't interesting in anything serious and you are better off without him.

 

As for why you are attracted to him, you said it yourself: "He's cute,sexy and seductive." He is charming and knows how to get what he wants. He plays up those seduction skills to his advantage. But you were smart enough not to fall for his tricks and see him for what he really is. You stayed true to your friend. You need to be able to tell when a guy is being sincere and when its just a ploy to get you to like him. You seem to have good instincts, keep it up.

[Mun]

Ohh maybe this guy is just TOO hot and sexy.. He sounds like he's used to the attention from women--so he's used to being catered to--and not do any of the work involved in winning a woman over. Not good.

 

So glad you guys got away from him... he would have just driven a wedge between you and your friend... and it doesn't sound like he's worth it.

 

Maybe in a few years he will shape up... and then he will be thinking "why don't any women take me serious?"

[69_king]

Then he expects her to pick him up? .

 

Well, there can be reasons for that, like he lives downtown and she lives out of town and they are going to go downtown for their date.

 

But, yes, he sounds a little jerky to me. But, subconsciously, that may be attracting you to him. Don't let it. [-X

[Ceema-k]

But, yes, he sounds a little jerky to me. But, subconsciously, that may be attracting you to him. Don't let it. [-X

 

LOL... yes i agree.

[Kimmey]

Thanks guys, you shed a bit of light. So much of what you say is true. especially the why I am still hung up on him. LOL

 

Geez why is everything a game? Players must be proud of how they can really mess with your head.