what does he mean?

[kh7]

So my bf and I (of 2 months) got in an argument over my ex, and he said he just 'needed some time' - this was 3 days ago - when I called to see if he wanted to hang out last night he said i could come over 'if i wanted to' - then when it was time to go to bed he said 'well, bedtime' -- i have never gone over there and not slept over - so since he was being vague, i said 'do you want me to stay over or go home?' and he goes 'you can stay if you want' - What's with this "if you want" bs?? What is he really thinking - in bed he was all cuddly and whatnot like he normally is, but no kissing or any hooking up at all....

What does a guy mean when he says 'if you want' ?

[caramellabacix]

I'd assume that he just didn't know what to say. Maybe he was thinking, since you two got into a fight, that he didn't want to ask you over if you didn't want to come. Instead of saying "yes" he said "if you want" to assure himself that if you said no he wouldn't feel stupid. The same goes for asking you to stay over. Maybe he didn't want you to feel oligated to go over or stay over if you really didn't want to, or else he didn't want you to think he was just thinking about some "makeup sex"? I wouldn't overanalyze this too much. I used to say the same to my ex boyfriend when he asked if he could come over. Mainly because I didn't want him here if he didn't want to be here.

[kh7]

oh and just to clarify, about the argument - im not mad at him at all - it was something dumb that i did that he 'needs time to get over'

[Hope75]

It's typical guy behaviour, don't look too deeply into it. I'm sure things will be fine, just give it a few days.

[boredguy]

hmm. from a guy's perspective, it sounds like he is in the stage where he thinks that you are mad about your argument and is unsure or whether u want to do something or not. he seems to be doing...well caramellabacix seems to have put it pretty eloquently. just being guyish ya knw?

[Towny]

Not to pry, but what exactly was it that you did that he needs to get over? I have a feeling it's sexual in nature, and, if it is, then maybe it's changed the way he sees you. A lot of times a guy meets a girl and he sees her as some sort of "angel", but when past histories are brought up, the illusion is shattered. It doesn't always work like this, but maybe he just wasn't prepared for what you told him.

[Cecelius]

Honestly, I think I can guess.

 

It was something like an ill-prepared quip about your ex's sexual prowess? Or did you have lunch or something with the ex and didn't tell the b/f?

 

Its impossible to decide what he means or what he is thinking generally, but more so without knowing what happened.