Life is getting hard...

[people500]

Hey everyone! Well haven't been on here forever but felt like posting tonight. I don't know where to go in my life anymore. I recently moved from Northern California to Southern California. I rented a room from an older couple for three years. I was working for Target almost full time, had some friends there. Also loved going to San Fransisco on my free time. Everything was going pretty well. There was a lil drama at work, but most of the time I could handle it. Then my roomates, who I really enjoyed living with sold there house.... Now I'm living with my parents who I am constantly fighting with, and are constantly degrading me and tell me how they want me to move out and how they hate living with me. I'm 23 and am gay and don't really fit in with many people. I'm very mature for my age. I don't drink and am never planning on it. Never done any sort of drugs. I recently realized that I'm not interested in any sort of realtionship. It's not that nobody is interested in me, because I've known a couple of people who were. People tell me all the time that I'm nice, and really good looking. It's that I think the cons really outway the pros. Cheating, getting tired of the partner, breaking up, getting stds... I have had strong feelings for people before and when I found out they didn't want me I was heartbroken, and it took me a long time to get over it. The only things I really enjoy doing in life now are listening to music, walking and enjoying nature, and playing video games. I gotten really tired of making friends and then them not wanting anything to do with me. It really takes a toll on me. I know it's beacuse I'm so mature, but I'm not going to change who I am just to have friends. I don't even like being in public a lot of the time because I get so frusrated with how stupid people act. Sometimes I think "what am I living for”. Any suggestions or relatable experiences would be really appriciated. Thanks!

[NIN2000]

I found your post interesting because you seem very open minded individual who has no fear of being himself nor of living the way you want.

 

"I have had strong feelings for people before and when I found out they didn't want me I was heartbroken, and it took me a long time to get over it." All of us in life will face such rejection, at the same time, while the experience is difficult it also makes you who you are and how you handle the it speaks volumes about your maturity, abilities and confidence. I strongly caution you not to fall into a pit where your feelings for rejection are so strong that you isolate yourself from society.

 

While you like nature, playing video games, walking etc. The company of others can make these experience's even more enjoyable. Regardless of how mature or unique you are, there are plenty of people in this world which you can relate and have a normal friendship or relationship. However, you must step on the field and play the game in order to be able to win the game.

 

Good luck. I wish you well.