ElectricSheep123 Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 This post is about a gay relationship, if that makes any difference. So, I've been out of the dating scene for a while now. I never thought of myself as the relationship type, and most of the guys that I've dated in the past just ended up hurting me. So I told myself that I did not want a boyfriend. There was just too much stress and anxiety involved. Plus, I needed time to work on myself. A few weeks ago, I downloaded the dating app Tinder, and was able to connect with a guy on there. He messaged me and we chatted for a bit. And he seemed very interested. We went out on a date Monday night (neither of us worked on Tuesday). I was very, very nervous meeting him and thought that it would be awkward. To my surprise, he was amazing: .very confident, funny, very social, talkative (which worked for me because I'm a bit of an introvert). And he was very, very attractive. We ended up having a few drinks... and he invited me to his place. And we had sex and cuddled all night. I left his place Tuesday in the afternoon. We (or I) didn't plan on sleeping with him. But it just happened, and it was beyond amazing. So it's Wednesday night and he hasn't messaged me to say hi or anything, and I'm also holding out on saying anything. I guess I was kinda hoping he would ask to see me again, or just say something. I wondered if having sex with him was a bad idea. He seemed genuinely interested and was so passionate during everything. Should I just message him, or just don't say anything and feel him out? Link to comment
treesandbees Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 He could be thinking the same thing about you, "why hasn't he texted, called me since we had our night out and sex?" Someone has to make the 1st move, why not you? A quick text is ok if too nervous to call and have to leave a VM. Link to comment
eskimobobseal Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 In girl/guy relationships the guy usually calls first (in my opinion), I believe in guy/guy relationships...well, I'm not sure what the general rule is. But, I'd call him. Like the above poster said, he may be thinking the same about you. Link to comment
ElectricSheep123 Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 I guess I'm thinking of coming off too needy and desperate. Is there usually a time-frame that people usually let pass by before they follow-up? I went out on a date a week prior (Tinder again), and after the first date, the guy messaged me the very next day asking me how I was, offering to drop by my work to bring me coffee, asked to take me out that night and the following Friday. And I just got overwhelmed and told him it wasn't going to work and that he was too needy. He was probably in my position now-- very interested and not knowing how to pace himself. Link to comment
ElectricSheep123 Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 In girl/guy relationships the guy usually calls first (in my opinion), I believe in guy/guy relationships...well, I'm not sure what the general rule is. But, I'd call him. Like the above poster said, he may be thinking the same about you. In guy/guy relationships, the "top" (the guy who takes the traditional male role) would call first. That would be him. Link to comment
jjkk Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 I think a follow up text the next day is great. There's a difference between sending a few texts back and forth the next day and asking to stop by someone's work and on a date that night again. Just send a text like "had a great time last night" or "how's your day?" or whatever seems authentic to you. Best of luck! Link to comment
HONEYHONEY Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Being a girl I think its ok to text first. Once! if he replies then you take it from there, if he doesn't then move on! good luck! Link to comment
SpottiOtti Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 See, I'm gonna disagree here. If the top is the one who's supposed to call, then give him a couple days to call you. It sounds like things went well, so I think odds are good. Play it cool. Link to comment
treesandbees Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 I guess I'm thinking of coming off too needy and desperate. Is there usually a time-frame that people usually let pass by before they follow-up? I went out on a date a week prior (Tinder again), and after the first date, the guy messaged me the very next day asking me how I was, offering to drop by my work to bring me coffee, asked to take me out that night and the following Friday. And I just got overwhelmed and told him it wasn't going to work and that he was too needy. He was probably in my position now-- very interested and not knowing how to pace himself. No, you aren't coming off too needy, you enjoyed your time with him and you want more of the same, you liked him and his company.. to him or anyone that would be flattering. I don't go by a time frame, I go by what feels right, if it feels like too long has passed I will reach out, then I know I did what I could and it is now up to them. Have you messaged him yet? Hope all goes as you wish. Link to comment
ElectricSheep123 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 I didn't message him yet.... but he messaged me. Flirted, chatted, sounded very interested. And we're spending the day together next Wednesday. I'm smiling ear-to-ear right now. Link to comment
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