Help understanding this guy?

[Amp33]

There's a guy. That I went on a date with over two months ago. We had three dates and he told me he wasn't interested in a relationship, he thought he was ready but he wasn't. We ended up becoming friends with benefits for two months. We got really close and both admitted that neither of us want to be in a relationship with each other but we make amazing friends and should just keep doing what we're doing.

Anyways, the other day he told me that he didn't think we should see each other anymore. I said that was fine and I made no big deal over it. Yet even though it was him who said it, he's been texting me a couple times a day and still calling me "cutie" and whatnot.. I'm confused..

Please keep in mind that he is a very kind man, and not a player whatsoever.

[SooSad33]

Are YOU willing to continue this? And risk the emotions increasing?

 

think you should tell him if it's ONLY a FWB situation no need for him to call you those names and continue the unnecessary communication.

 

As long as you remember this... "We had three dates and he told me he wasn't interested in a relationship, he thought he was ready but he wasn't. We ended up becoming friends with benefits for two months. We got really close and both admitted that neither of us want to be in a relationship"

 

IF your aim is to be his 'friend', I suggest your remove your position as a FWB. Or friendship is at risk.

[missmarple]

I don't know what his goal is, if any, but I would text him back 'you said we shouldn't see each other anymore, so, stop texting me and good luck'.

[ParisPaulette]

You say he's a kind man and not a player, but those facts are irrelevant to what you're asking or wanting here. The guy has stated repeatedly he does not want a relationship with you. He said it after three dates and now he's saying it again two months later after sleeping with you. He could not be any clearer on what his intentions are than if he skywrote it. He does not see a future with you, he does not want you as his girlfriend.

 

This does not however mean he's not happy to have sex with you and to keep you around to ease his loneliness, boost his ego and in general remind him that if you like him then there's a girl out there that will too that he will want to commit to. Just not you. In his universe he's technically done nothing wrong, just taken what you offered and left it at that, because he has told you the terms of his engagement and you have agreed to play by his rules and let him call the shots.

 

If you don't want a serious relationship with a committed fellow who will be proud to show you off as his girlfriend or more then this guy is perfect. Keep him as a placeholder while you date and see other men until you find someone who will commit to you. Or you let him do the same until the day he finds someone that he wants to commit to and lets you go. That's all you have here really. And you can't get angry with him or hurt or feel used, because he has been upfront with you since day one practically that this is what he wants. He's been honest about that. Maybe it's time you be honest too, both with him and yourself. And if he can't provide what you need and want then perhaps it's time for you to move on and find someone who can.