getting back/giving back belongings

[staysound]

my ex and I broke up 2,5 months ago.

We have been NC since the end of june.

He broke my heart, not only of how it ended but also his cold and extremely indifferent behaviour afterwards.

Friends say this is how 'he copes'. Extremely selfish imo. I also believe he might have been seeing someone shortly after and maybe still is, but I'm not sure.

All I know is he doesn't have àny female friends and all of a sudden he seems to have one.

 

Anyway..

He didn't initiate contact, it was mostly me because he had been living with me and I had done quite some things for him

while he was here, like managing his phone bills and other expenses and I needed some money back.

(which I didn't get, he said he had paid enough while living here: he didn't pay rent or nothing, but I left it at that)

 

Last week I was visiting a friend and there I saw an expensive pen on the table and suddenly I realized I had given him (only to use)

2 of those expensive pens to draw. (for his line of work..)

I had gotten those pens from my aunt when I was twelve so they really mean something to me.

 

The next day I sent him an email that I would like him to put those pens in my mailbox before the end of the month.

Because I'm moving out of my current place, but he doesn't have to know this.

He hasn't responded to the email but the next day I got a facetime (iphone) missed call from him.

Now, I know he pressed the facetime button by accident, in no way would he call me (he has been ignoring me since 2 weeks after the break up)

I think he accidentally pushed the facetime button when reading my texts and trying to scroll further through my text (the facetime button is exactly above the 'load more messages' button on an iphone.. so)

I texted him again that I noticed he (maybe accidentally) called me, but I was out for dinner with friends.

He didn't reply. 3 hours later I texted him one last time that he didn't need to call me, just confirm he would give me back the pens and put them in my mailbox.

Again, no answer.

 

 

This was last friday.

 

It would really upset me if he wouldn't give me those pens back, but eventually I would have to accept it if he doesn't come forward again..

 

 

But!

The day before yesterday I was using one of my not so regular handbags, one I hadn't used for about 4 or 5 months.

While I'm looking if there is anything in the bag that I should leave at home I find a little red sachet his mother gave me.

It has a silver bracelet in it with his name and his date of birth on it. It's what he was wearing in the hospital after he was born.

So I guess it has to be valuable to him.

 

I'm toying with the idea to tell him he can't have this back as long as I don't get my pens back.

But I also don't want to play games with him because I'm fed up feeling like there is unfinished business with him.

I had to look for closure all by myself, he didn't give me a single reason why he suddenly changed into this cold person who could slap and insult me, never apologized,

never gave me an explanation about how he felt, what he was thinking, why it ended the way it did.

I still have a very hard time accepting that.

 

I don't know how to go about it, so that I end up getting my pens back.

 

Any ideas?

[mg22]

He's defenantly acting extremely mean, I would forget the pens, the bracelet and move on with your life. He's ignoring you and he will continue ignoring you until you go mad !! He a USER , living for free at your house and not wanting to re-pay you back. You should be glad he's gone.

[mhowe]

He isn't going to care about the braclet and you can forget about the pens.

 

Move on ---- you are never going to hear what you want to hear and he clearly doesn't want to reconcile.

[staysound]

Terrible huh... he just doesn't care.. I can keep on trying to comprehend how someone can be so, I don't know, shallow and cold.

 

I was thinking, let's forget about the pens indeed, though it hurts because he knows what they mean to me, and maybe return the bracelet to his mother, who genuinely cared for me and who gave me the bracelet in the first place (not to keep, but to give to him).

I think I know it would break her heart if it were lost.

[mhowe]

It isn't "lost". You have it --- return it to her.

[staysound]

yes, that was what I meant, returning it to her.

I think that is the only well mannered way to go about it.

 

I had many other scenario's, like, when his new 'friend' came to sit at my job for 4 hours, watching me work. (it work at a bar, one day in the week. Been working there for 5 years, never seen her there before, but now, she just had to come check me out I guess....)

I don't think he knows this. I had to use all my strength not to lower myself to her level and tell him about it.

I was daydreaming about sending him a last text telling him I would drop the bracelet off at HER job (she works in a local shop)

 

But, pff revenge, I'm bigger than that.

I think dropping it off at his mother's shows integrity and also shows the kind of person he lost, the opposite kind of the one he apparently won. I'm not sure about it, but I won't go fishing for it either.

 

It hurts you know..

[mhowe]

I know it does. And I would post it to her with a short note --- not go over and have a cup of coffee and chat with her....

[staysound]

no, I couldn't cope with a chat with her anyway.. I will post it.